Love's Imitation
by Sahari
<sahari@earthlink.net>

"To have and not to hold/ So hot yet so cold My heart is in your hand/ And yet you never stand Close enough for me to have my way"
--"To Have and Not To Hold," Madonna

Part One:

Kurama wasn't looking too good these days, Yusuke mused as he glance out of the corner of his eye at the red-headed fox who was getting to his feet unsteadily. Yusuke looked back down and concentrated on wrapping up Kuwabara's arm.

"That okay?" he asked.

"Yeah." Kuwabara flexed the arm in question and grinned. "Good as new."

"Right," Yusuke replied. He looked back at Kurama, concerned, just in time to see the young man disappear into the woods, towards the river. "Is Kurama thinner these days? He's not looking so good."

"Hm?" Kuwabara blinked then shrugged. "He's always been thin. Maybe it's a fad, or something."

While the others tended to their own hurts, Hiei always took off to . . . wherever he went. Sometimes only a shout away, sometimes clear back into the Makai. It used to be that Kurama would get him to stay, but lately that seemed to be changing. Those two weren't talking much these days.

+++++++++++++++

Kurama was sitting at the edge of the water, his shirt off of one shoulder. He was wrapping up his arm, his head down.

Yusuke sighed and didn't make it a secret that he was approaching from behind. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yes. Fine." The soft tone, typical of Kurama, held a deeper darkness. Depression? Sadness?

"Ya know where Hiei went?"

"No." Kurama's hand dropped and Yusuke could see that he had not done a good job of binding where he had been sliced on the upper arm.

"Here, let me help with that," he said and knelt down next to the other boy. Kurama said nothing, but looked away from him.

He wasn't imagining it, Kurama WAS thinner. The bones in his wrists were starting to look almost fragile. Something was wrong. Kurama was never a cheerful person, but his recent moodiness was not typical of his character. His fighting was off; of all of them, he rarely got hurt, but in the last three fights, he had gotten sliced each time. Listless, moody, thinner, distracted . . . Yusuke thought about it.

"You in love or something?" he asked.

Kurama's head came up and turned, those great green eyes staring at him in surprise.

Yusuke flushed. Well maybe that was a little too direct. But Kurama only blinked at him. Yusuke could clearly see the shadows under his eyes.

"Sorry. Ya just seem . . . out of it."

"Ah." Kurama looked at the river. Yusuke was always amazed at how beautiful this boy was, how everything about him, every simple movement, was graceful. It wasn't affected, that was the biggest marvel of it all.

Yusuke figured that that was that. Kurama wasn't exactly a talkative kind of guy. But as he finished the wrapping, Kurama said softly: "I'm getting over . . . something."

"Huh?" Oh. "Is that it? Well, ya know, if you wanna talk to someone . . . well . . ."

Kurama turned and looked at him, smiling softly. "Thank you, Yusuke. That's very . . . kind, but it's something . . . " He sighed and shrugged. "It's something I have to deal with."

It was then that Yusuke understood. "It's Hiei, isn't it?"

Kurama just looked at him.

"Well, I'm not that clueless, ya know. I have eyes. You have a fight or something?"

Getting no clues from the other's carefully blank expression, Yusuke blundered on.

"I mean, you guys are pretty good friends, right? I figured you had a fight, y'know . . . "

"No." Kurama's faint smile told Yusuke he was not on the right track. It was almost . . . relieved. "We didn't have a fight. Everything's essentially as it's always been." The boy took pity on his friend. "You were closer with the first guess."

Yusuke stared and gulped. "Oh." Kurama in love? Wow. You always imagined some poor girl on her hands and knees sobbing out her undying devotion to Kurama, not the other way around.

"And she doesn't love you back, is that it? Man, I'm sorry. That's the pits."

Kurama laughed softly. "Yusuke, you and I both know that I wouldn't fall for a girl. That's not . . . where I'm interested."

Yeah, Yusuke had suspected, but never thought he'd have such a personal conversation with the distant youko that the subject would come up. Hell, he was learning more about Kurama in five minutes than he had in the last year.

Embarrassed, he scratched his head, wondering how he was going to respond to that. Kurama was so gorgeous, he could have anyone he wanted without batting an eyelash. Even Yusuke had sometimes thought what it'd be like . . . and he hadn't wanted another guy in a long time, since puberty. He figured it was just that youko mystique.

"So it's a "him," huh?" he finally said. "Well, love's love no matter if it's a girl or a boy."

Kurama truly smiled at him then. "Thank you," was all he said, but Yusuke understood. A guy didn't usually tell his friends he was gay -- he always expected to be made fun of, or rejected.

"Does he know?"

Kurama shook his head, the smile slipping from his features.

"Che. That's no good. What if he feels the same?"

"He doesn't. I just know. There's always . . . signs."

Yusuke shook his head. "Not always." When Kurama looked at him, a question in his eyes, he shrugged. "Hell, Keiko used to beat me up, and that was her "sign" that she liked me. Until I died, I didn't have a clue."

Kurama laughed softly. "Keiko redirects here feelings, doesn't she? But that's a human tendency." He slid his arm carefully into his shirtsleeve and began to button up, one handed. Yusuke shook his head, batted the hand out of the way and did it instead. "So does Kuwabara."

"Huh?" Yusuke glanced up at Kurama's down-turned face. "What did you mean by that?"

"Just that he used to want to beat you up too, and now here you are, friends."

"Yeah. But Kuwabara isn't that way with Yukina."

A flare of ki made Kurama gasp and Yusuke turn. There was Hiei, striding through the trees. "What about Yukina?" the small demon demanded.

"N-nothing." Yusuke finished the last button. "You okay now?"

The fox smiled at him. It made Yusuke feel light-headed. Man, when Kurama turned on the wattage! "Better," he said.

"Well, if you need anything --and I mean ANYTHING-- I'm always here, ya know."

"Thanks, Yusuke."

The human boy avoided looking at Hiei as he passed, knowing that the demon was staring at him with an intense look. Before he was out of earshot, he heard Hiei ask Kurama: "What was that about?"

"Just talk." Kurama's voice was faint, but the darkness was there again.

***********

Hiei was disturbed. There was something about Kurama these days that made him clench his teeth and want to snarl out of frustration.

Wounded, again. He eyed the shirtsleeve that had been sliced open, and the bandage underneath. Kurama was getting sloppy, distracted and distant. It was a bizarre combination, and Hiei was starting to feel . . . uneasy. Yes, that was the word. This wasn't Kurama, this was just an imitation.

"You should take better care of yourself, Fox," he said. Kurama glanced at his arm and nodded. "You're getting too thin, too." Since he had nothing more to say, and Kurama didn't seem inclined to talk, he turned to go.

"Hiei."

As always the soft voice made him pause. Why was that? he found himself wondering lately. Why was it that a human-youko could make him stop, when no one in the Makai or the Ningenkai ever could?

"I haven't been myself."

So true, Hiei agreed.

"But I'll be better. Soon." No explanation.

"See to it, then."

Once he was gone, Kurama bowed his head.

#############

"Well love can do that to you."

Hiei stopped in his tracks, lifting his head. Was that oaf actually daring to talk about Yukina, now? It was bad enough that the lovesick fool was always around his sister . . .

"Yeah, but he says . . . the other person doesn't love him back." Yusuke's voice was sympathetic.

"That really sucks. Poor Kurama," Kuwabara said feelingly.

Poor . . . KURAMA?? Hiei desperately tried to figure out what the hell they were talking about. Kurama?

"I guess he hasn't told the girl, huh? Man, I know how THAT is. But KURAMA . . . I thought the chicks were all over him. Last Valentine's he got a mountain of chocolate."

"Not from the one he loves, I guess."

"Hn. Well, I guess I see why he's been the way he's been. Man. KURAMA in love? Doesn't that beat anything?"

"You won't tell him I told you? I think . . . he'd be embarrassed."

"Hey, I'm not THAT stupid. Besides, no guy likes to be reminded that the girl he likes doesn't like him. Can you imagine a girl not liking him? She must be insane or somethin'. Not that I go that way, or anything, but he's good-lookin', smart, got table manners that would make my mother cry . . . girls go for that, right?"

"I guess."

Even in his state of confusion, Hiei found himself grinning ferally at that. Kurama didn't go for females, not even when he was a full youko in the Makai. He cold tell by Yusuke's tone that the boy knew it, but wasn't about to tell the idiot.

Kurama, in love? Not possible.

But as the day progressed, and Hiei went about his affairs, the idea kept leaping to his mind. Kurama's reputation in the Makai was legendary. He'd cut a swath a kilometer-wide through the territories, leaving hardly a heart unscathed, but it was always the same. Kurama the Heartless. Kurama didn't love, he seduced.

Could Shuuichi Minamino's heart feel love, having been shaped by Kurama the Seducer? These humans were very . . . emotional. Kurama could feel love for his human mother . . . or at least a semblance of love. It didn't necessarily follow that Kurama could fall IN love just because he was partially human.

And who could possible resist him if he had?

That thought obsessed him, day and night. Who had rejected Kurama? Who would have the nerve? It wasn't a girl, that was for sure. Some boy at school, maybe, one of Kurama's friends.

The image of Yusuke sitting in front of Kurama, buttoning up his shirt gave Hiei pause. Not Yusuke. Surely not. The more he thought about it, the more he denied it. Kurama wouldn't go for someone like that, and there would be signs, wouldn't there? If he was in love with Yusuke, he'd be distracted, and probably wouldn't be able to fight proper . . . ly . . .

Shit. That's not possible!

He watched Kurama at school. Kurama had after-school soccer practice, and got along with all the boys, but none of them seemed to be singled out. When Kurama walked home, as always he walked alone.

He did not seek out Yusuke. Although from different schools, the two boys' houses were only three stops of the train away, and if Kurama wanted to be with the boy, there'd be no impediment.

Kurama spent his nights studying at this desk in his room, sometimes pretending to study, because he would be staring forward, at nothing.

It was on these nights that Hiei would come to the window. But Kurama's shadowed eyes would tell him nothing, and the false smile would be back, with sadness behind it.

Finally one night Hiei decided he'd had enough. "I hear you're in love, Fox."

The reaction was electric. The pencil in Kurama's hand snapped in two, and the boy actually HISSED in surprise.

So it's true, then, Hiei thought.

Those eyes turned on him slowly, wide and startled. They were the eyes of something hunted.

"If this is what Ningen love does, you can count me out," Hiei snorted derisively. "You're no better off than you were a week ago."

Kurama just stared at him, and something hot seemed to burn inside Hiei's chest for a moment. Broken, is what those eyes said to him. Broken and dying.

"Kurama?" he asked.

The boy merely stood, and went to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. There was the sound of someone being violently sick, then silence.

Hiei slipped fully into the room and approached the bathroom door, listening. This was really not like Kurama at all, and it was starting to . . . concern him. He considered opening the door, or knocking on it, which was the human ritual. Then Kurama's gasps seemed to be turning into hiccuping sobs.

Hiei opened the door, and stood there, staring helplessly. Kurama was curled up between the toilet and the wall, his forehead against the porcelain of the bowl, his whole body shaking.

"What the hell--" Hiei managed. He couldn't quite get close to the fox, as his body was wedged into the tight space. In the meanwhile, Kurama sobbed and shook.

Hiei got as close as he could and squatted, resting his elbows on his knees. He waited.

Finally, gradually, the sobbing quieted, the shaking eased. Kurama's face did not emerge from the mass of red hair. "Hiei," he managed faintly, "please leave me alone."

"What the hell's the matter with you? You're sick, you stupid fox! You should be getting medicine, not sitting there telling me to go away."

"Not sick," Kurama whispered.

"You know, I'm not really knowledgeable about human health, but throwing up your stomach usually means sickness with most beings, demon or human."

Hiei was half a mind to go get Yukina, but Kurama turned his head to look at Hiei. It was a listless movement. Strands of his crimson hair were plastered against his pale and sweaty face, and the eyes that looked at him were dull, dimmed somehow. Fading. Hiei felt that hot pain in his chest again. He'd seen people die, but never this way, never just . . . willingly like this.

"I'm not sick, I'm just . . . sad."

"Look, "sad" doesn't usually take this long, Kurama."

"Like YOU would know," the fox snapped.

Hiei blinked at the suddenness.

"What do you know about feelings? Is there anything in your heart except resentment and hate? You don't . . . " His breath started to come out in gasps again. "You don't have a single IDEA of what I could be feeling!"

Hiei clenched his teeth in rage. Goddamn fox, telling him what felt or didn't feel! "Fine," he said coldly, holding back the anger that would normally have him pulling his sword out. "Fine, Fox. You're right. I don't understand. I don't understand anything about this stuff you call "love." I don't fucking get why you're sick just because you feel something."

"Yes," Kurama said faintly. "That's the problem. You don't."

But Hiei was already gone.

++++++++++++

Keiko was helping him with his homework when his mother called from below. "Denwa, Yu-chan!"

When he picked up the upstairs phone, he was surprised to hear Yukina on the other end. "Yukina-san! How can I help you?"

"Yusuke-san, I'm very concerned about Kurama-san. Hiei-san came by yesterday, very angry. He said that Kurama was very sick but wouldn't get medicine. When I go to his house, he refused to see me! Was it very rude to visit? I only wanted to help."

That was all Yusuke needed to hear. Mouthing to Keiko to put away the books, he assured Yukina that it had not been rude, and that Kurama was probably just embarrassed. He set the receiver down, and sighed. "Kurama's sick and won't see Yukina. I better go do some male-bonding."

Keiko smiled. "I'll walk with you to the station."

##############

"Oh, Yusuke," Kurama's okaasan greeted him. "Thank God. Shuu-chan won't come out of his room."

"Yukina called me."

"That poor young lady, so kind and concerned. I never thought my Shuu-chan could be so rude. He's been feeling a little down on the weather lately, but I think it's something more, but he won't listen to me."

"I'll talk to him." Yusuke mounted the stairs while Shiori watched tensely from below. "Even if I have to knock his lights out."

He rapped on the door, waited, then tried the doorknob. He focused his ki and pushed slightly with his rei, finger against the lock. The flare of power cracked the lock, and Yusuke pushed the door open.

Kurama was on the bed, curled. Glancing down, Yusuke saw a breakfast tray by the door. Nothing had been eaten.

"Kurama," he said.

No response. Yusuke went up to the bed, put a hand on Kurama's shoulder. "Kurama."

A faint stirring, movement. Kurama rolled onto his back, eyes coming open slowly. "Whaa--?"

Yusuke was aghast. Kurama looked just awful. His complexion was pasty, and his face was slightly sunken, the shadows under his eyes making them look unnaturally bright, fevered.

"Man, what's wrong with you? We gotta get you to the doctor!"

"What's the use?" Kurama whispered. "What's the use? Can you make him love? He doesn't even know how . . . "

Yusuke put his hand on Kurama's forehead. He was burning up.

"Call the doctor," he said to Shiori from atop the stairs. "He hasn't eaten, and he's got a fever. I think he's delirious."

Listening to Shiori run and frantically begin speaking on the phone, Yusuke returned to Kurama's room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "What're you trying to do here? You got family; you got friends. Why --?"

He was surprised when the boy replied in a thready whisper: "I think he stole my heart. I can't feel it anymore."

Yusuke sighed, then frowned. "WHO stole you heart?" Had he heard that correctly?

Had it been "he stole my heart"?

Or was it "Hiei stole my heart"?

" . . . and they used to call ME heartless . . . " the fox whispered.

============

"He's in the hospital under observation," Yusuke told everyone. "Suicide watch."

At Genkai's temple, the team members, plus Keiko, Yukina and Botan, sat on the veranda overlooking the gardens. Kuwabara, who had been standing, sat down with a thud.

"They don't know what's wrong with him, really. But he's on IV, so at least he's stable for now."

"Do you really think KURAMA would try to kill himself?" Keiko asked, amazed. "I don't understand! Why--?"

"Wasn't you who said he was in love, or something?" Kuwabara managed. "And she didn't love him back?"

Yusuke shrugged. "That's what he told me a month ago. But I think it's something more. I mean, who of us really KNOW him? He's got lots of acquaintances, but not a lot of friends, not the kind that he can really talk to."

Hiei had been still and silent throughout the meeting. He stirred. "When I was there two days ago, he deliberately made me mad so I would go away."

Yusuke glanced at him thoughtfully. "Did he say anything . . . any clue as to why he would do this to himself?"

Hiei shook his head. "I told him that I heard he was in love, and he went and threw up in the bathroom."

The girls looked at each other, eyes wide.

"And when I went to help him, he told me I didn't understand his feelings."

"Well, HELL," Kuwabara growled. "Sounds like my sister on a bad day."

"Ano, sumimasen . . . " a soft voice dared.

Everyone slowly looked at Yukina as she sat, diminutive and quiet next to Kuwabara, her hands in the lap of her pale blue kimono.

"Yes, Yukina-chan?" Yusuke asked.

"If what you've said is true . . . that Kurama is suffering from unrequited love, then I think I understand what is wrong."

The group waited, expectant.

"Youkos don't feel love as those in the Ningenkai."

Keiko leaned forward from her position on the other side of Yusuke. "You mean they don't love?"

"Oh, not at all!" Yukina exclaimed, eyes wide. "It is just . . . very different. In the Ningenkai, "love" has a facet of self-sacrifice to it -- compassion, sympathy, gentleness . . . that is not encouraged in the Makai. So being youko, Kurama-san has never felt this human love before."

Hiei spoke. "A man in the Makai who loved another and was rejected would move on."

"It is perhaps the biggest difference between humans and demons," Yukina offered.

"Hn," Hiei grunted. "Their greatest weakness."

"On the contrary," Yukina gently disagreed. "Deep emotional affection which encourages self-sacrifice and giving is a Ningen strength. It is this spirit of giving that has formed Uremeshi-san's team and made it strong and successful."

Yusuke grinned at that, and glanced at Kuwabara, who he was amused to see focusing intently on Yukina's face.

Hiei merely grunted in disdain.

"In the Makai, this quality of love is reserved only for family -- never for romance," she concluded.

"But --" Yusuke interjected. "If this is true, then, being youko, Kurama would have recovered by now."

"Yusuke-kun," Botan reminded him, "Kurama isn't entirely youko."

"Baaakaaa," Keiko whispered. "Let Yukina finish."

"Exactly," Yukina agreed with Botan. "Kurama chose to fuse his lifeforce with that of a Ningen fetus; all of his experience, memories and powers attached to his soul were combined in this Ningen body. However, there is a very distinct part of Kurama that is Ningen alone . . . certain physical aspects, such as his height, or hair-color, and also emotional aspects . . . his ability to love, to feel compassion, to show sympathy and generosity. Certain Ningen experiences have also shaped Kurama through his life with his mother, and among humans."

Everyone blinked at looked at each other, letting the information sink in. Yukina gathered her thought together, and took a deep breath.

"Such a fusion isn't common, but it has happened before. In such cases, the dominant personality filters all the experiences, past and present, decides how to react and if it should react at all. Therefore, I suspect the youko part of Kurama is such a dominant personality."

"It is," Hiei said gruffly.

"However, the youko part can't filter what it has no conception of."

Silence. Then Keiko gave out a gasp of understanding. "You're saying Youko Kurama isn't able to handle this."

"Ningen Shuuichi is entirely in control," Yukina confirmed. "And Shuuichi, without Kurama's influence, is very weak. Shuuichi cannot exist without Kurama's sense of self-worth and experience."

"So it's Shuuichi who is causing Kurama's sickness," Yusuke surmised.

"Yes."

"But there's no cure for that!" Botan protested. "Shuuichi isn't some kind of disease that there's a medicine for -- he's part of Kurama!"

"They are part of each other. Even if Shuuichi died tomorrow, Kurama would not be the same youko he was before being fused with Shuuichi." Yukina sighed.

"Is there a way to help Kurama?" Yusuke asked.

Yukina looked at her hands. "Kurama-san must make a choice -- he must choose either to understand this Ningen emotion and filter it, or he must reject it altogether and live by youko standards."

Hiei laughed humorlessly, a rough short laugh. "Kurama acting like a youko in the Ningenkai? He's a high school student! There's no way --!"

"What are you talking about?" Kuwabara demanded.

"Hn. Youko Kurama was called Kurama the Seducer, and Kurama the Heartless. He was -- " Hiei stopped, glancing at the girls and editing what he was about to say. " --sleeping with anything that had a pretty face and walked on two legs."

"KURAMA?" Keiko gasped. "Gentlemanly, sweet Kurama?"

"It's Shuuichi that has brought that sweetness," Yukina said.

"Youkos aren't "sweet"," Hiei said at the same time. The two looked at each other.

"So, you're saying there's no way he could possibly exist as Shuuichi, with a youko outlook on love," Yusuke said thoughtfully.

"Not in Japan," Yukina said, coloring self-consciously at the topic.

"Well, there's no choice then. Kurama's somehow going to have to filter Shuuichi's emotions."

Kuwabara clutched at his head. "ARHHH! I don't understand half of this! It's like psychology class!"

Yukina giggled and Hiei scowled.

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Shiori was sitting by Kurama's bedside, speaking softly to her son when Yusuke and Keiko arrived.

With an IV tube taped to his arm, and his hair tied back, Kurama looked rather frail and helpless, but he smiled at his visitors.

Shiori excused herself.

"You're looking much better," Yusuke complimented.

Kurama's eyes were soft, and his voice husky. "Thanks to you, Yusuke. Thanks to you."

"Yukina wants to come by later; Hiei'll bring her along . . . " Yusuke glanced at the window; it was ajar.

"That's fine. I have to apologize to . . . both of them. I was unspeakably rude."

Keiko smiled. "That's our Kurama." She leaned down and presented her gift, a potted miniature rose. Kurama smiled.

"Lovely. Thank you." He took the plant onto his lap and touched the soft-petaled roses, which seemed to leap into his touch, shivering. He sighed and gave it to Keiko to put aside.

"Everybody's worried about you," Yusuke said.

"I'm sorry to cause so much trouble for everyone," Kurama murmured. "I really don't know what happened. Everything's blurry."

"You weren't yourself," Keiko reassured him. Yusuke grimaced at the truth of that phrase.

"It's like a dream -- it seemed I was standing outside of myself . . . couldn't seem to make myself fully aware, or stop myself."

"Yukina has a theory," Keiko said. "She'll tell you."

Kurama nodded. "All right."

"Is there -- is there anyone you want us to notify . . . as far as how you are . . . ?"

Kurama shook his head. "Shiori has sent a note to my teachers, who will tell my friends at school."

When Yusuke and Keiko exchanged a questioning glance, wondering about the content of that note, Kurama laughed softly. "Anemia."

"Ah."

"Of course, no one's going to mention that I've already had two visits from the hospital's psychiatrist, who thinks I have an eating disorder, and that I'm suicidal on top of it." Kurama sighed. "If I wanted to die, there's a thousand ways more pleasant than starving myself to death."

The old Kurama was back, Yusuke thought with relief. Shuuichi had been put in his place, for now.

+++++++++++

Hiei was the closest to turmoil as he had ever been in his life. As he waited for Yukina in Genkai's garden, he found himself pacing, would stop, then find himself pacing again.

It wasn't as if he didn't know that Kurama was part Ningen. It was frustratingly obvious that he had inherited many of the human weaknesses that Hiei despised -- their softness, their silly attachments to others.

The thought of Kurama's Ningen tendencies had always had always given him a feeling of frustration, but Yukina had said something that had made all that he had believed turn around.

The Kurama he knew, who was his friend (although he had never used that word with anyone), was an undeniable combination of youko and Ningen. And he was beginning to understand that without Ningen Shuuichi, Kurama would not be the person who he . . .

And that's where his thoughts spun.

"Hiei-san?" Yukina asked from the porch, eyes questioning.

How long had she been standing there?

"You're worried about Kurama-san, aren't you?" she asked with a kind smile.

Hiei didn't honor that with a reply. Instead he waited for her to slip into her shoes, and walked with her towards the city.

Part Two:

"Your heart is not open so I must go The spell has been broken -- I loved you so Freedom comes when you learn to let go Creation comes when you learn to say no"

--"The Power of Goodbye," Madonna

While Yukina explained her ideas to Kurama, Hiei sat in the sill of the open window of the hospital room, watching the two of them through the waving white sheers as they blew back and forth in front of him, stirred by the night wind.

Mostly he was relieved, relieved that Kurama looked more himself, and relieved that he was able to disguise the overwhelmingly strange thoughts that were flashing off and on through his mind. The question still demanded consideration, but he ignored it.

Why is it that only Kurama, part youko, part Ningen, was the only being that had any hold on him besides his sister?

He shrugged it off, watching the boy in question, his red hair escaping its tie and fanning out on the white pillow under his head. Those leaf-green eyes were at half-mast as they focussed on Yukina, the sensual mouth alternately firmed in concentration, then loosed as Kurama reacted in astonishment to Yukina's words.

Beautiful beautiful fox -- almost as beautiful as a true youko. But unlike Youko Kurama, this Kurama seemed oblivious to his beauty. Not like a youko at all . . . for any self-respecting youko would exploit his looks to their limits.

But he didn't want to think about that, or the one that Kurama wanted, the one that rejected him.

It made him alternately hot and cold, enraged and vibrating with confusion. Conflict of interest -- wanting to hunt down the bastard and at the same time wanting to know what it was about him that Kurama . . .

"Hiei-san," Yukina said quietly. He blinked and slipped from the window, lifting the blowing sheers away from his face. "I want to get Kurama-san some water. Would you wait?"

"Of course," he replied, and watched as his sister left the room.

"Hiei," Kurama said in a throaty voice. "Will you talk to me?"

"Why not?" Hiei glanced at the chair that Yukina used and shook his head. He hated chairs. So instead he stood on the opposite side of the bed. One look at Kurama's contrite face and he knew what was coming.
"You're not going to go apologizing are you, Fox?"

Kurama sighed, nodded. "I didn't mean to say those things . . . " His eyes lifted and stared straight into Hiei's. "They aren't true, and I'm sorry."

"Hn." Hiei remembered how angry he had been. He remembered the words -- 'hate and resentment,' weren't they? -- and remembered just how true they had been. "That's where you're wrong. They were true -- compared to your Ningen sensibilities, Fox, that's all I do have in my heart."

Kurama's eyes rounded, and he shook his head.

"Hn. You've been too far away from the Makai. You don't remember what it takes to survive it. You think I need a heart, for what I do?"

Kurama was silent, and glanced away, his hands twitching on the coverlet in his lap. "You have a heart, Hiei," he said softly.

"Well, I got to, don't I? But it's not like yours, is it? It's not Ningen."

Kurama nodded slightly, chewing on his lip. Hiei wished he wouldn't do that; it was distracting.

"And besides, it's me who needs to apologize. I should have fetched Yukina immediately, instead of taking off in a rage."

Kurama glanced up and seemed about to say something when Yukina returned with a pitcher of water.

************

Kurama's recovery was astounding, and thankfully Shiori was able to get him released from the hospital when Kurama passed a battery of psychological tests. Eating disorder . . . suicide prone . . . none of these conditions showed up on intense psychiatric sessions.

Yusuke understood why. Had Ningen Shuuichi been in charge, Kurama might have been committed, but Kurama, with all the cunning of his youko experience nicely fused with Shuuichi's keen intelligence, knew exactly what to say and how to say it.

He waited for a few days, then called Kurama, determined to be a closer friend now. If only someone had been in touch with what had been happening to Kurama in the first place, all of this could have been avoided, and Yusuke knew he was guilty of not being as close as he could be to a fellow team-member.

So it was that they began to study together once a week, laying stomach-first on the floor between Kurama's desk and his bed. It was, Yusuke thought wryly, an unequal partnership. Kurama was definitely smarter than he was, and wound up reviewing and correcting Yusuke's work much more than the other way around. When Yusuke pointed it out, though, Kurama only smiled and said that teaching was the best way to study anyway, and that showing Yusuke how to do something only reinforced his own knowledge.

Yusuke could only marvel at Kurama on these quiet afternoons as they lay, writing out their homework, reading the required textbooks. Beauty AND brains. Well, Keiko was the same, maybe not as keen as Kurama was in sciences, but she made up for it in literature. However, Kurama had infinite patience, which Keiko did NOT have, and where she might have thrown her hands up in frustration, Kurama merely explained it in a different way.

Hiei would show up now and then, sitting in the windowsill. Kurama would have one-way conversations with the spiky-haired little demon, who would respond in monosyllables, and leave as silently as he came. After first witnessing this, Yusuke asked if this was normal and Kurama nodded absently. "He comes and goes," he said, and that was all.

It made Yusuke reconsider the depth of the relationship -- maybe they weren't as close as he had assumed.

Summer came, hot and muggy, and summer vacation in late July. It was a particularly ugly heat, making everyone run to department stores and trains for air-conditioning. Keiko took a field trip with her girlfriends to Yamaguchi, and Yusuke found himself with Kurama off and on, though the things Kurama was into didn't often line up with his own interests. A cultured fellow, Kurama, not one to sit around and watch baseball games on the television when he could be reading a good book.

When Kurama proposed a few days in Nara, Yusuke parried with Tokyo. Kurama counter-proposed with Kyoto and Yusuke agreed if they could check out the nightlife in Osaka. Finally they pooled their money, bought two tickets on the bullet train and packed their bags. Yusuke had never really hung out with Kurama over night, unless it was for a mission in the middle of some god-forsaken forest, so it was a new experience just to hang out with Kurama, with no one else about.

The Kyoto inn Shiori had reserved for them was a modest affair, run by a local family and a shared bathroom, but there was a public bathhouse a half-block away. They checked in then walked down to the Shrine of Heian, the largest Shinto shrine in the region. It was pretty, but didn't much interest Yusuke, so he followed Kurama around as the boy washed his hands at the sacred fountain, lit a stick of incense, and then walked up into the altar area. They both tossed yen into the coin box and clapped their hands properly. Then Kurama turned to Yusuke and gave him an audacious wink. "Follow me," he whispered.

Nodding to the red and white clad priestesses, who stared after him, Kurama led his friend around the side of the shrine, past a garden until Yusuke could see there was another Shinto gate, but this one, unlike the red main gate, was unpainted. They passed a sakura tree, not flowering in the summer heat, and Kurama reached up and quickly broke a small branch off. Passing under the gate, Yusuke grinned at what he saw.

"Masaka," he breathed with a laugh. "An Inari shrine?"

Kurama approached the wooden house-shaped shrine, the center alcove flanked by two carved foxes. Some faithful devotee had left rice and sake.

"One of the few left in Kyoto," Kurama said. "The only visible remains of nature-worship left are these shrines." He held up the sakura branch, and suddenly it was flowering in a riot of pink flowers. Placing it on the altar with the other offerings, he clapped his hands and prayed briefly before turning back to Yusuke with an apologetic smile. "Ancient religions are hardly interesting to you. I'm sorry."

"Not at all," Yusuke replied. They turned and left the little shrine and walked back to the inn. They had arrived late afternoon, but even so, the humidity was uncomfortable, as if they were walking through a sauna.

"Bath house?" he asked Kurama. Kurama smiled and nodded. They picked up their towels at the inn and walked down to the public bath in the yukata robes provided by the owners. Yusuke had to admit Kurama looked obscenely good in a cotton kimono and wooden geta shoes; it was easy to imagine he would fit into any age.

Except that the faded pattern on the robes was burgundy, and clashed with his hair.

They paid their 500-yen at the front, stowed their shoes, exchanging them for slippers, and picked up their locker keys. The baths were not at all crowded, since it wasn't evening yet, and they were able to disrobe and wash off without waiting for a vacant stool and faucet. They had a choice of a hot bath, and even hotter bath with jets called a "jakuji" ("It's English," Kurama said) and an outdoor bath with a place to lay out. Kurama indicated that was where he was headed, but Yusuke wanted to experience whatever a "jakuji" was first, so they split up.

Half an hour later he was ready for the outdoor air, which had to be cooler than the heavy steamy air inside, and went to look for his friend. No one was in the bath, but the astro-turfed lying area was occupied by a few napping tourists and Kurama, laying naked facedown on his wash cloth.

That gave Yusuke pause. He sank down into the bath and surreptitiously eyed that pale back and rounded derriere. Gods above! He'd never seen a male backside that made him want to run his hands over it, just to see if the skin was really as soft and sleek as it looked.

Then suddenly Kurama was getting up and joining him in the bath, sliding into the water. Yusuke glanced away, but not fast enough to avoid seeing an eyeful.

That solves the question about size, he admonished himself. At least he could feel superior in one area of comparison, but barely.

"Tired, yet?" Kurama asked softly, lifting his hair from his back with one hand.

"A little. What's say we get back to the inn, turn the air-con WAY up . . . . "

"They'll bring dinner at 6:30," Kurama reminded him. "It's included in the rate."

That clinched it. They joked about who was going to pay the 100 yen/hour rate for the TV set in their room on the walk back and said hello to the owners on the way to their room.

"You've got three choices," Yusuke told his friend as he examined the air-con controls. "Freezing, sub-zero or Antarctica."

"Dealer's choice," Kurama said and Yusuke heard the robe as it slithered to the floor followed by Kurama pulling on sweat-pants.

Antarctica it is, he thought, hoping the cold would banish whatever inclinations his body seemed to be following.

"Can I . . . ask your advice?" Kurama asked. Yusuke settled across the low table from him and nodded.

"It's about Hiei."

Yusuke raised his eyebrows at that. Really? "Sure. What about him?"

"I want him."

For half a second Yusuke actually could not interpret what his ears were telling his brain. Then his jaw dropped. HIEI??

"Yes, Hiei," Kurama said with a sigh.

"Is he the one --?"

Kurama nodded.

"Holy shit! How the hell--?" The ramifications came thundering through Yusuke's mind. Best friends, one Makai fire demon and the other half-human youko. One who seemed to have no social skills to redeem him and the other existing with the emotions of a human boy.

"Yes, I know," Kurama said in response to Yusuke's baffled look. "Now you know why I never told him."

"Man, Kurama, I have NO idea! Does the guy even have a sex drive or anything?"

The redhead shrugged. "Not that I've seen. But his race is pretty much undersexed to begin with, and Hiei's childhood clinched it pretty much so that he's never gotten close to anyone."

Yusuke took a deep breath and let it out loudly. "I guess grabbing him and throwing him on the bed would be out of the question."

Kurama's smile was wry. "He wouldn't know what it meant, most likely. Can you imagine trying to explain it to him?"

"The birds and bees to Hiei? God forbid! What a mess!"

Kurama was quiet. "Impossible, do you think? Am I wasting my time?"

Yusuke looked at his friend. Kurama looked downright depressed. "You love him?"

Not even a slight hesitation. "Yes."

"Then it's not impossible. Love is never a waste of time."

Kurama let out a small laugh.

They talked about it in general ways over dinner, even making light-hearted jokes about a dozen unlikely seduction scenarios: giving Hiei a love potion, getting him drunk, tying him up in vines, having him rescue Kurama from some lecherous villain, etc. It was getting silly by the time Yusuke got to the jealousy scenario.

"But that's the shoujo manga solution!" Kurama laughed, but then he stopped, his tea halfway to his mouth. He looked at Yusuke over the rim and Yusuke could swear he felt a zap of electricity at the eye contact.

"What?" he gulped at that intense look.

"I'm considering it," Kurama said with a purr in his voice that made Yusuke twitch.

"Oh," was all he could say, and nervously finish his meal.

The owner's wife came and cleaned up the dishes and wished them "oyasumi nasai." They hauled their futons from the closet, put on the fitted sheets and comforters to ward off the air con. Kurama put a 100 yen coin into the TV and they watched an old samurai serial that made them laugh. It was ten when the money ran out and they turned off the lights and slid under their covers.

"Do you sleep in your yukata?" Kurama asked curiously.

"Naw, not really." Once under the covers, Yusuke unbelted and disrobed, literally, pulling the robe out from under the covers.

There was a pause and then Kurama said "interesting" in such a soft sibilant way that made Yusuke want to groan; either that, or touch himself.

Silence as Yusuke laid back and tried to close his eyes. He was preternaturally aware of the other boy just centimeters away.

"Yusuke," Kurama said.

He swallowed. "Yeah?"

A pause, as if considering the words. "Do you want to?"

It was the perfect phrasing; one could easily pretend not to understand. But Yusuke understood.

"Yeah," he said, shifting to his elbows to look at Kurama in the dark, but he could hardly see him, just a faint luminescence of skin and darkness of hair. Then movement as Kurama sat up, wriggled about some and tossed something dark at the foot of his futon.

His sweat pants.

Shit, Yusuke thought, remembering what Kurama looked like naked in the baths. "What about --?"

"I don't think he'd care who I fucked," Kurama said softly in the dark, "and that hurts, most of all."

Hearing Kurama's pain in his voice, Yusuke's heart went out to him. Hiei'd probably call it a typical Ningen reaction, Yusuke thought wryly. Well, fuck, that's what I am, and so's Kurama, in part.

"If you won't regret it, neither will I," was all he said. He pushed his comforter down and crawled the single body-length separating their two futons. "I can barely see you."

Kurama laughed softly. "There's a little paper lamp in this corner. Just a minute." He leaned and there was a click, and the room was softly illuminated in pale golden light.

There was an awkward moment when the two boys stared at each other, not sure how to proceed. "You done this before?" Yusuke asked wryly, half-knowing the answer.

"A lifetime ago," Kurama said feelingly. Then, curiously: "And you?"

"Junior high school." At Kurama's lift of the eyebrows, he added: "It was that 'Yusuke explores his sexuality' time of life."

"At least one of us has recent experience," Kurama breathed with a smile. "I'm afraid I might be a little rusty."

Yusuke merely looked at him hungrily, wondering just how long he had been wanting to see this boy's skin bared like this. The comforter had pooled in Kurama's lap, obscuring his view and leaning forward, he flipped it to the foot of the futon. The maneuver brought him almost nose-to-nose with the redhead, whose somnolent green eyes never left him.

"How can you be possible?" Yusuke whispered. He wanted to touch everywhere: the fiery waves of hair, the smooth face, the luscious lips, the pulse at his throat, the pink nipples, the white hardness of his stomach, and most of all that lengthening cock nestled in blood-red silk. And how can Hiei not want this? he wondered.

"Am why should you doubt me?" the human-youko asked softy. "I'm right here." He leaned forward and touched his mouth to Yusuke's.

Whatever hesitancy had kept him from touching Kurama vanished at the heat of that soft mouth, as if he had been thrust into a separate reality. He grasped at the smooth, cool shoulders and pulled Kurama close, angling his head to deepen the kiss.

Kurama moaned softly, his body going pliant against Yusuke's, who merely pulled him closer yet, straightening up on his knees to feel the fox's cock harden against his. Pulling away, he traced curious fingers across the oval face and finally across the lips, gently forcing Kurama's mouth open to slide his fingers into the warm, wet cavern.

Kurama closed his lips around his fingers and sucked, tongue playing with the pads. Yusuke wanted to swear. He was getting painfully hard already, and just imagining what that mouth could do for him made him impatient. "Rusty, are you?" he rasped dryly. "Maybe I should be thankful that you've had some time for reflection."

Kurama took his wrist and slowly pulled Yusuke's fingers from his mouth so that Yusuke could feel every part of the slide past his lips. "I have a healthy fantasy life," he said, focusing on Yusuke's face as it flushed. "I've missed this," the fox continued softly. Still retaining his hold on Yusuke's wrist, he lowered it and placed Yusuke's palm against Kurama's own cock which was hardening fast. He controlled the hand that stroked him, and at the same time leaned in and slid his tongue into Yusuke's mouth.

Doubly connected and seduced, Yusuke did all he could think to do: he grasped Kurama firmly and sucked on his tongue. Kurama groaned and shoved himself farther into Yusuke's hand and pulled Yusuke closer with his one free arm.

Yusuke pulled back with a curse and pushed Kurama down on the futon forcefully, working the cock in his hand with a dedicated ferocity that had the redhead writhing, open-mouthed. "You wanna come?" Yusuke demanded. "You got it." Kurama arched, panting. "Come on, Kurama!"

He watched avidly as the white body under him bucked, and a high keening came from the arched throat. Thrashing, Kurama came, mouth open.

*************

Kurama stirred from his languor, forcing himself to open his eyes. He heard the door closing and Yusuke returning to his side, and a warm wet cloth firmly wiped down his stomach and his genitals. He turned his head to watch Yusuke's face and found those dark eyes on his.

"Thank you," Kurama murmured.

"Thank me later," the boy advised him mildly. "I expect a big reward."

"How big?" the fox asked, mischievous despite his lethargy.

"Oh, at least as big as what I was holding in my hand."

Kurama smiled and glanced down at Yusuke's groin but was disappointed to see that he had put on his jeans to make the trip to the inn's communal bathroom. Yusuke chuckled at his look.

"You could have taken advantage of the moment," Kurama said, and stretched, arms above his head.

"Yeah, I suppose, but there's no fun in that," Yusuke muttered, and licked his lips, eyeing the supine body before him. "I like to know that the one I'm fucking is appreciating the ride."

Kurama nibbled at his lower lip, a considering look in his green eyes. "I'm glad to hear it; will you be demonstrating soon?"

"Fuuuuuck . . . " Yusuke breathed in admiration, reaching for the waist of his jeans, "YOU went from zero to sixty in five seconds. "

"Just making up for lost time," his lover replied. He lifted the nearest leg and prodded playfully with his toe at the bulge at Yusuke's crotch as Yusuke flicked open the button and began to slowly unzip. "Hurry."

Yusuke obeyed willingly, standing to push them off, and was about to join Kurama on the futon, when the fox rose up on his knees, sliding his hands up to Yusuke's hips.

"I think it's time for your big reward," he said, and took him into his mouth.

"Shit!" God, that felt . . . He clutched at Kurama's shoulders and bit his lip as he felt the long hair brushing his knuckles as his friend sucked his cock with a mind-blowing expertise that could not be believed. God, that mouth! He gasped for air, harder than he had ever been before in his life, and felt Kurama back off to lick at the crown. He was barely able to keep himself from ramming back into that glorious mouth, chest heaving.

"Enough!" he groaned, and pushed Kurama's shoulders back.

The redhead let the prize slip from his lips and looked up at Yusuke, running his tongue over his upper lip. "Enough appetizer?"

Yusuke reached down and took Kurama's chin in his hand, staring down at him. "Yeah, ya got it. I want the main course."

Kurama merely gave him an open-mouthed smile, turned and pulled his overnight bag towards them. With a suspicious lack of rummaging, he pulled out a tube and grinned.

"Why you little, crafty . . . "

" . . . fox?"

Yusuke had had enough. He took the tube and said. "On your knees, Kitsune." And when Kurama didn't move fast enough for his liking, he pushed him gently but firmly onto his hands and knees on the futon. "You going to have a word for me if you wanna stop?"

Kurama's voice was breathless and muffled. "How about 'toufu'?"

Yusuke snickered. "Yeah, that'll do." He nudged Kurama's knees wider, teased at the hidden pucker there with soft touches. Kurama moaned and wiggled. Yusuke squeezed out some gel and slowly worked it into that tightness, grimacing as his fingers were clenched in that fantastic heat. Adding more gel, he deliberately finger-fucked Kurama, grinning as the fox rocked back on his fingers, humming in his throat. Questing, he found the right spot and stroked against it with his middle finger. Kurama threw his head back and whined.

"Y-yusuke . . . !"

Yusuke stroked himself with the gel and set it aside, positioning himself solidly behind Kurama, who was continuing to thrust back on his fingers, fucking himself on them. The fingers slid out and were replaced by a far more solid organ. Yusuke grabbed Kurama's hips and pushed in.

Kurama jerked and moaned into the pillow; Yusuke watched the tense line of his shoulders as he forced the head of his cock past the initial tightness. Kurama shook and Yusuke put a hand on his upper back, stroking him gently, feeling the sweat bead up on the skin under his hand. Inch by inch he slid in, and finally buried to the hilt, he stopped, closing his eyes. The redhead panted, thighs trembling.

"Very nice," Yusuke managed to breathe in approval. So tight. He wanted desperately to move, but waited. "What ya want, Kitsune?"

Kurama was breathing deeply. "More."

"Like this?" Yusuke carefully pulled almost all the way out, then thrust back in. Something that sounded suspiciously like a sob was muffled again by the pillow. "Or like this?" Holding his hips tightly, he bucked in hard and fast. Kurama groaned, and pushed back. "Ah, I see. A connoisseur of the down and dirty." This was going to be intense, and he was looking forward to it.

He rammed in hard and Kurama cried out, his hands clenching into the futon underneath him. "Oh yeah . . . " Yusuke groaned. "You like that?" Again and again he plowed in hard, and Kurama resisted screaming, pressing his face into the pillow. Again and again, and Yusuke was now fighting himself; gods, he wanted to come. He'd never fought himself for so long. He was used to self-gratification, and in the past year with Keiko, cold showers to help him wait for her; but this was too damn good, and it wasn't helping that Kurama's little sounds and hot, slick tightness were putting shocks up his spine like flashes of lightning.

Roughly, he reached down and grasped the hard cock and at the same time rammed forward, pushing Kurama forward in his hands.

There was a strangled whimper and Yusuke bared his teeth in triumph. Not long now, his instincts told him. Not long at all. "Oh, I heard THAT, Kitsune. Come on . . . ya want it so bad, dontcha?"

"Please . . ." the thready voice moaned and that broken whimper repeated itself.

It took a few hard thrusts at just the right angle to push Kurama off the precipice. The fox clamped down on what might have been a scream, amusing Yusuke to not end. Even when coming, the redhead was aware of where they were, and who would hear through the thin walls of the inn.

His conscience freed of concern for the other, Yusuke's body let go of all inhibitions and loosed itself into that welcoming heat, throwing his head back with the force of the release.

Kurama collapsed beneath him and Yusuke went down with him. Both gasped for breath.

"Well," Kurama eventually said in a sleepy voice, "that's one way to release excess ki."

"God," Yusuke groaned, chuckling into Kurama's damp neck, that soft hair against his face and smelling sweet like the fur of a cat.

"I'd say you're the best fuck in the Ningenkai, but you're my ONLY fuck in the Ningenkai," the fox murmured.

"Hell, just swell my ego, why dontcha? And since when do you talk like that?"

A soft laugh answered him. "When I'm horny as hell."

Author's Note: The inn that Yusuke and Kurama stay at was inspired by an actual inn I stayed in in Kyoto. Also, like them, I walked with a friend down to the Heian Shrine. A photo of the outside of the inn. A postcard photo of the Heian Shrine.

Part Three:

"Now there's no point in placing the blame And you should know I suffer the same If I lose you, my heart will be broken. If I could melt your heart/ We'd never be apart Give yourself to me/ You hold the key."

-- "Frozen," Madonna

Hiei's nose twitched. A familiar, yet faint scent clung to Kurama these days. This, coupled with Kurama's strange mood swings, made the demon suspicious. SOMETHING was going on with that fox.

At first he didn't equate it with sex. After all, THIS Kurama wasn't the type, and despite the idea that Kurama had been in love, he figured whoever it had been had long since been cast out of Kurama's heart.

It was winter, one of the coldest on record in the Ningenkai region of Japan, even blanketing Tokyo in snow every so often.

Missions came and went, small investigations, small fights. Business was slowing down and the great holiday of the Ningenkai, New Year, was much on the minds of the Ningen members of the team. Hiei would sit inside of Kurama's room, with the window reluctantly closed to keep in the warmth, and watch curiously as Kurama filled out New Year's cards, wrapped packages and finished up homework before the break in school. Yusuke would appear now and then and the two would go over their schoolwork, and talk about plans for the New Year.

"New Year's is about close family," Kurama said. "Not really like O-bon, because O-bon is more ancestral." Hiei's first experience with O-bon had been the summer before, watching as Kurama and Shiori washed the family headstone in a massive graveyard and then prayed silently for some time there.

Hiei shrugged. "Family? But you're with your family all the time. Why is this so different?"

Kurama gave him a little smile. "At New Year's, your family is whomever you want it to be. It's not just mother or father, sister or brother, it's also friends and people you love." This made Hiei look more suspiciously at the presents that Kurama had been so carefully wrapping. There might be a gift there for HIM, the one Kurama had loved . . . might still love.

When Kurama left the room to find extra fabrics to wrap with, and Hiei crept up and glared at the presents. He knew enough Japanese to make out familiar characters, so he saw the one to himself almost immediately, and blinked in surprise. There was one for everyone in the team, even for Yukina. One for Shiori, and Kurama's stepbrother and stepfather. That was it.

Hiei gnawed at his lip. Maybe Kurama was over this person, then. Or . . . he looked at the presents, discounting one after another until he got to Yusuke's. His eyes narrowed. The suspicions he had had the summer before re-surfaced only briefly.

Yusuke and Kurama had disappeared for three days in early August, and on returning, talked about a "vacation" in Kyoto and Osaka. Both seemed re-energized by the trip. At that point Kurama seemed to change. His moods were lighter, his expressions more playful . . . more youko. It was vaguely disturbing.

And that scent, illusive and strangely familiar. The scent of youko pheromones, a long-dead memory told him.

Mature youko, particularly males, gave off a strong, natural scent. It wasn't at all unpleasant, rather like sweet musk, which might account for the races of the Makai finding youko universally attractive. When youko were sexually available, another note was added to the existing scent. It was a subtle change, a cinnamon smell added to the sweet musk.

Kurama, with his Ningen body, had never smelled like a youko, only that salty Ningen smell that Hiei had by now incorporated into his catalogue of familiar scents. That Ningen smell overlaid by the cinnamony smell of youko sexual pheromones made a new combination. But how was that possible?

Kurama's body was Ningen, no matter what his mind was.

Or was it entirely Ningen?

"You can't open it yet," Kurama said from the doorway. Hiei immediately inhaled. Yes, it WAS pheromones. And it was coming from Kurama, not from his clothes.

"Hn," he replied, "like I'd want to." In the Makai, smell was just like talking; another sort of communication. Hiei knew it was different in the Ningenkai. The Ningen were offended about their smells; they covered them up and did not talk about them. It was strange to stand there and discuss New Year's presents when his nose was interpreting a different conversation.

He slowly looked at Kurama who by now was wondering what strange mood had a hold of Hiei. The little demon strode up to Kurama, looked him up and down, sniffed, then prowled the room, trying to detect more of the scent. With the windows closed, the smell was strongest here, which might have accounted for Hiei's tardy detection. Open windows did much to defuse a faint smell.

"What's the matter?" Kurama asked, brows crooked. What WAS the demon up to now? He blinked as Hiei went up to the bed, looked it over, then looked at Kurama meaningfully.

Kurama stood there for a second, then with a flash of dread, wondered if Hiei was smelling . . . surely not? Regardless, he felt his cheeks heat up. "What?"

"When were you going to tell me about your sex life?" Hiei asked.

"WHAT??" Kurama could not believe he had heard that. It was almost as shocking as Hiei telling him "I heard you were in love" earlier in the year. "What are you talking about?"

Hiei snorted and strode back up to Kurama, cocking his head up to stare at Kurama's flushed face. "Since when do you smell like a youko in heat? The smell is all over in here, especially there." Hiei pointed at the bed.

Kurama pulled out the chair from his desk and slowly sank into it. "Oh." There were many things he and Hiei never discussed, and sex was among them, probably because neither of them were active, and Kurama's Japanese upbringing tended to limit those kinds of topics. Why it was coming up now could only be because Hiei was too direct.

Hiei shook his head at Kurama's silence. "Never mind. I'm offending your Ningen sensibilities." His tone was scathing. "Doesn't matter, anyway."

Kurama winced at that as Hiei opened the window. "Since we're breaking conversational ground, Hiei," he returned, "just why would you be curious about my "sex life," anyway?"

Hiei jumped up on the sill, and half-turned to regard Kurama out of the corner of his eye. "Isn't that what friends do?" Then he was gone in a flash, leaving the redhead staring after him.

**********

"I think Hiei knows," Kurama told Yusuke as they lay together, breathing deeply and letting their bodies relax after a very active couple of hours. "Apparently I smell like a youko in heat."

Yusuke thought about it. "How do you feel about that?"

Kurama was silent for too long. Yusuke shifted up on his shoulders; they were spooned and he couldn't see the fox's face. "Oi. Talk to me."

"I guess . . . it disturbs me. But I don't think he's jealous."

"You wanna give me my walking papers? I know how you feel about him." He brushed Kurama's damp hair from his cheek. "I'd be disappointed, of course. I think what we have is pretty hot. But, well, if it's a choice between him and me, I know where I stand."

Kurama finally rolled onto his back and slid his arms about Yusuke's shoulders. "I like what we have," is all he said. "Until there's a conflict with Keiko or Hiei, I don't want to give it up."

His lover grinned and leaned down to kiss him.

++++++++++

Hiei sat uncomfortably in Yukina's room, gingerly handling the teacup she had served him.

"Kurama is doing very well, physically," she said contentedly from across the table. "And it's nice he's found someone."

Hiei nearly spit out his tea. He hadn't even told Yukina anything! "Hn?" he managed, while frantically swallowing.

"You haven't seen how they are together? It's so sweet!" Yukina sipped her tea.

"Who?" he managed.

"Well, Kurama and Yusuke, of course! Their auras are all over the place."

Hiei stared at his sister's cheerfully oblivious face until . . . crack. Glancing down, he realized the cup in his hand was now in shards and cutting into his palm, and the remaining tea was leaking down onto the tatami mat below him. Yukina jumped to her feet with a cry and was bandaging it up before he could figure what had happened.

"Hiei-san! Are you all right?" Yukina's eyes, so like his own, were wide and frightened as she knelt in front of him. "Your poor hand . . . "

He glanced down again. He hadn't even felt the pain before she had bound it and healed it enough to avoid the pain altogether. "What? No, it's all right. Your cup . . . " He looked in dismay at her fragile porcelain, now in pieces.

"Oh, Hiei-san, I break them all the time." Carefully she gathered the pieces and left briefly to discard them.

Hiei just sat there, blinking. What had just happened?

. . . . Kurama and YUSUKE. She had said 'Kurama and Yusuke.'

Yukina returned with a new cup, poured and offered and he took it.

"I'm sorry," she said after a moment of silence. "You didn't know?"

He shook his head. "No." No use explaining now WHAT he had suspected.

"It must have been a shock, then. But they seem to be happy. I'm glad Kurama has someone. He's been so lonely lately."

"Lonely?" He still could not take in the information as truth. "Kurama has many friends."

"Not THAT kind of friend, though. And youkos need affection. You know that." Her eyes, the eyes of a healer, gazed at him, assessing. "You aren't excited for him?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

She tried not to smile, but did it poorly. "Are you certain?"

He lifted his head to look at her. "What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. You just don't seem to be . . . very happy. Do you disapprove?"

He grunted. "I'm in no position to disapprove." He really did not understand what he was feeling; he was in turmoil. It wasn't disapproval, not exactly, but whatever he was feeling felt BAD.

"Perhaps you would like to be in a position to?"

"Hn?" He blinked. "What are you saying?"

Yukina smiled a little shyly at him. "Kurama turned to Yusuke for a reason."

"Yeah. Lust." Seeing her blush, he added gruffly, "Sorry."

"Perhaps you have not understood Kurama-san's feelings. He does not love Yusuke." She sipped at her tea meditatively. "In this way, he is being youko. Affection and comfort are important to a youko."

He shook his head. "Since when?"

Yukina blinked at him. "Perhaps you should ask him this?"

"I don't want to ask him anything. It's none of my business."

Yukina sighed. Oh, but it could be.

+++++++++++

Hiei once again sat in the windowsill, watching Kurama do his schoolwork. When Shiori called that Yusuke was heading up, Hiei said a brief goodbye and left, watching long enough to see Yusuke come through the door and Kurama stand up from his desk to greet him.

It's none of my business, he told himself. It's not supposed to matter to me. He turned away but heard Yusuke say his name.

Stopping, he looked around the tree he was crouched in. Through the window, at the angle he was sitting, he could see the desk with Kurama and Yusuke standing next to it. Yusuke was talking to Kurama, gesturing at the window.

So Yusuke sensed me, did he? Hiei watched for another moment, just to make sure, and was once again about to leave when he stopped dead, transfixed. Yusuke had grabbed Kurama and was kissing him.

He knew what kissing was; he had even seen people doing it. He had never seen anyone touch Kurama like this; nobody ever handled Kurama that way.

Kurama leaned into the kiss, his arms sliding up and over the other boy's shoulders. He was backed up to the edge of the desk. Yusuke kissed down his throat and Kurama's mouth was open, his head back. Hiei couldn't tear his eyes from the startling sight of that beautiful face gone slack with pleasure, the eyes closed.

I don't care about this; I don't. But as Kurama's hand crept up to run through Yusuke's black hair, Hiei found himself stroking his own hair at the back of his nape. What did that feel like?

Yusuke opened Kurama's shirt, his mouth following his hands as each button came undone. Kurama's eyes opened and were unfocused; his hand was still in Yusuke's hair as the head went down. Hiei watched every change in that face, every movement of the eyes, whether open or closed. When Yusuke unfastened Kurama's pants and began to pleasure him further with his mouth, Hiei watched Kurama bite his lip and tense.

Oh gods, I can't be seeing this. I can't be feeling this. But he was. He was feeling a sensation very like hunger, but it wasn't really hunger.

Finally he understood what Yukina had been trying to say to him.

I could have made it my business.

Because after all, it does matter.

I do care.

***********

Yusuke was surprised to see Hiei at Yukina's as he slipped off his shoes in the foyer. When Yukina called, she had implied she had something important to tell him, something best not said on the phone.

"Hiei," he acknowledged pleasantly. The demon only nodded, as was his habit. Yusuke settled across the table from him, looking around for Yukina.

"She's not here," Hiei informed him.

Yusuke raised his eyebrows at that, muddling through the implications. "Did you want to talk to me, then?"

"Something like that."

"Ah." Seeing that Yukina had left them tea, Yusuke poured. Hiei sat, cross-legged and cross-armed, watching him. Yusuke refused to be unnerved by Hiei's stoic behavior. "What about?"

"Kurama."

Yusuke was expecting that, and yet he was actually surprised that Hiei would admit it. "Yes? What about Kurama?"

Hiei turned his head and Yusuke stifled a grin. He couldn't wait to see how unemotional Hiei was going to come out with it. "We've been friends for some time."

"I know." Yusuke wondered if he should be playing innocent. "Oh, is this about my fucking Kurama?"

Hiei's nostrils flared and turned his head back to stare at the boy. "Yes."

"Are you going to warn me that if I hurt him you'll kill me?"

"No."

"Are you going get past one word sentences?"

Hiei glared. "Watch it, Ningen."

Yusuke finally gave in and grinned. "Sorry. Well, what IS this about?"

"I--" Hiei chewed his lip. "I think---"Yusuke took a drink, rolling his eyes. This was going to take FOREVER. Still, it was best if Hiei said it himself, without prompting.

"I think I . . . don't like it."

Yusuke blinked. THAT was it? "Yes? You don't like me and Kurama . . . ? Have you told him?"

"No."

Here we go again.

"I wanted to ask you something first."

"Yes?"

"Do you love him?"

Now it was Yusuke's turn to feel uncomfortable. "No, not really." Not the way I love Keiko.

"Then stand aside."

Yusuke eyed the demon in amused surprise. "Why should I? Are you offering to take my place?"

Hiei's face reddened and the boy had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing. Oh, this was too much fun.

"I want him."

"Well, so do I. What's the difference?"

Hiei was silent. Yusuke nibbled at a cookie and drank some tea, waiting. "He's pretty hot, you know. Sure you can handle him? And who are you to decide, anyway? Shouldn't HE decide?"

Hiei muttered something. Yusuke's eyebrows went up. "Yes, WHAT did you say?"

"I said 'I love him'," Hiei grumbled. He looked straight into Yusuke's eyes and added: "And I will have him."

"Well it's about fuckin' time!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Kurama sneezed.

"Oh, my dear, I hope you're not coming down with a cold," Shiori said, concerned as he got up from the dinner table.

"'Kaasan, somebody's probably talking about me, is all!"

Part Four:

"Things haven't been the same since you came into my life. You found a way to touch my soul And I'm never, ever, ever gonna let it go."

--"Secret," Madonna

New Year's was almost upon them, and Kurama spent the day before cleaning the house with Shiori in preparation for the holiday.

He had been able to deliver most of his gifts except for his gift to Yusuke, who seemed to never be home, and Hiei, who was probably busy in the Makai.

That night, New Year's Eve, Shiori lovingly got out their kimonos for the visit to the shrine and helped Kurama into his. The winter under-kimono was white with a black kimono over it, with his family's mon affixed to the back of the collar. In such bland colors, Kurama hated just how red his hair looked. He tied it back tightly. The woman got all the interesting kimonos this time of year.

Kurama, in turn, helped his younger brother into his while Shiori helped her husband. Being the only woman in the family, Shiori sequestered herself to get dressed while the men shifted around uncomfortably in their traditional clothes.

The walk wasn't far, but the crowds were backed up down the street from the neighborhood Shinto shrine. Shiori shopped along the way, and Kurama bought Shuuichi his first coffee to keep him warm. They waited their turn and prayed and fought the crowds to get out of the street.

"Every year, it gets worse," his stepfather said. "Next year we'll go earlier in the day."

"It's not the same, dear," Shiori said. "Celebrate New Year in the afternoon?"

"As it is, we get there AFTER the New Year because of the crowds."

Kurama sighed. This was the exact conversation they had last year.

The house was freezing when they returned, and everyone ran to their rooms to turn on their area heaters, get into warmer clothes and under warm comforters. Kurama shut the door of his room, loosening his obi . . . and stopped.

"Hiei."

"Happy New Year, Fox," the demon said from his perch in the windowsill, the window thankfully closed behind him.

"Uh, Happy New Year." Kurama pulled the obi free and folded it carefully. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Not long. You explained about the shrine visit."

Kurama went to his dresser and took up Hiei's present. "This is for you."

Hiei took it gingerly, and studied it. "You can open it now," Kurama added, and while Hiei untied the fabric, turned on the heater and slid the black over-kimono off. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the fabric come off, and Hiei open the box.

"I know you probably won't want to wear it, but I thought it was perfect for you."

Hiei pulled out the black silk cord with its pendant of carnelian shaped like a teardrop, and held it up into the light. "The color . . . "

"It matches your eyes," Kurama said with a smile. The smile slipped a little when Hiei just stared at him. "You hate it."

Hiei shook his head. "Help me put it on."

Kurama's mouth almost dropped open, but went up to the demon. Hiei slid down from the sill and held the pendant up to the other. Kurama chewed on his lip and reached around Hiei's neck, trying to tie the chord behind him. Hiei just stared up into the fox's face, apparently waiting.

"Um, Hiei, could you . . . " Kurama's hands were unaccountably shaking, and he couldn't seem to tie the knot without seeing what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" Hiei's hands reached back to Kurama's wrists, his fingers gently gliding along the backs of his hands. Kurama's hands trembled and his face went very white

"N-nothing . . . " Kurama dropped his hands and backed away. Hiei watched his face impassively. "I guess the cold has made clumsy tonight."

"Hn." Hiei fastened the chord securely. "Got a present for you."

Kurama gulped. The pendant was exactly the color of Hiei's eyes, and the red semi-translucent stone caught the light beautifully. He took the item in Hiei's hand in a daze, and finally looked down at what it was. A small jade fox, exquisitely carved, met his eyes. He smiled in pleasure. " Thank you, Hiei. It's beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you are."

Had he heard that right?

"What did you say?" he asked, looking up, but was distracted by the glint of silver Hiei was holding up to the light.

"Give me your hand, Fox." Taking the fingers of his left hand, Hiei slid a ring onto the fourth finger. Kurama stared down at the ring, a very simple silver band ring with rosebuds and thorn vines entwined in a knot-like pattern. "Oh, Hiei . . . " he breathed, wondering if he was dreaming this. Did Hiei just give him a ring? Wait a minute, had he just called Kurama beautiful?

And why was he still holding his hand?

"Hiei?" He could feel the color blazing in his face.

"Tell me one thing, Fox. Do you love him?"

Kurama pulled his hand from Hiei's in shock. "W-what?"

"You heard me. Do you love Yusuke?"

The fox swallowed. "No."

"But you're sleeping with him."

Kurama couldn't stand those intense eyes. He walked to his dresser, set the little jade fox down and pulled out his sweat suit. Despite the heater, the cold was seeping into his bones and the thin under-kimono was not helping. "Yes," he said to his hands. "If I couldn't have love, at least I could have an imitation."

"How can you do that and still love someone else? How does that happen, Kurama?"

The fox bit his lip, shutting his eyes. "You don't know what it's like. Everyone wanted me, but no one wanted to love me. That was my life, and it's still my life. What was I supposed to do, kill myself? It almost happened!"

"Imagine a life, then, when no one wants you and no one loves you." Hiei's voice was harsh. "And that's my life." Kurama lifted his head, blinking, denial on his lips. "That WAS my life, until you."

Kurama turned around, eyes wide. "Hiei."

"What I'm saying, Fox, is that you're not sleeping with Yusuke anymore."

Kurama's eyes narrowed. "Oh, is that so? And why is that?" How dare the little demon disapprove of him!

"Because I want you, I love you and you're mine."

The sweat suit fell out of the redhead's hands to land softy on his feet.

"Oh," he said weakly

"You going to argue with me?" Hiei asked, starting to feel triumphant. It looked like he would get his way.

"No." Kurama just blinked. "You love me?"

"Yes, that's right." He approached the redhead carefully, watching his face. His eyes went wide as tears welled up in those bright green eyes and spilled down the fair cheeks.

"Kurama?"

"I d-don't understand --" Kurama sat down heavily on the foot of his bed. "How can you . . . ?" He sniffed.

This was not a situation that Hiei had predicted. Kurama pissed off, Kurama happy, Kurama seductive . . . but Kurama crying? What was WITH these Ningens? Well, being direct had gotten him this far . . .

"Fox, when a man tells you he loves you, he expects something a little different."

Kurama sniffed again, blinking. "I-I'm sorry, Hiei, but --"Uh oh. Maybe he'd been over-confident, after all.

"I never thought . . . I never thought you would ever say that to me."

Huh? Hiei just stood there, his mind blank. Then he mentally backtracked. Wait a minute.

Kurama was smiling through his tears. "I love you, too."

Hiei stepped forward and touched careful fingers to the fox's wet cheeks, tracing the wetness softly. His capacity to reason was completely gone. He didn't want to question Kurama about how such a miracle could be possible. What was important was that it was REAL.

Kurama, in his thin white kimono, cheeks glistening with tears, was looking at him . . . looking at HIM as if . . . as if he was the one person in the universe that Kurama held dear.

Oh gods.

He couldn't help it. He learned in and touched his mouth to Kurama's, just enough to feel the warmth, the pressure of softness against his lips. His loved one sighed and kissed back, with the same soft pressure.

He wanted more, he wanted much more, but his inexperience made him hesitate, self-conscious. How had Yusuke had the confidence to kiss this beauty in the way that he deserved?

"Itoshii hito," Kurama breathed. Loved one. He reached back and slipped the cord from his hair, letting the wavy mass fall over his shoulders; it brushed Hiei's hands as they framed the fox's jaw. It made him shiver.

Kurama studied the demon before him; the crimson eyes on him were steady but unsure . . . the hands careful, trying not to reveal their inexperience. Ah, Hiei, I have enough experience for more than both of us. He touched Hiei's smooth cheek, ran fingers through the short, soft hair, more like fur than hair . . . his fingertips brushed against the cloth that masked the jagan. Hiei didn't like it off, but Kurama wouldn't have minded. He asked his new lover the same question that Yusuke had asked: "What do you want?"

"Everything." Hiei's eyes lidded. "Anything."

Kurama found himself smiling. "Does that mean you trust me?"

"You're the only one I DO trust, Fox." The gleam in Kurama's eye made his heart leap in trepidation and excitement. He never thought to see that look focused on him, to be the one who was desired. "Show me . . . show me what to do."

Kurama leaned forward and kissed him softly; it was nothing new. The pressure grew harder and Kurama's tongue slid along the seam of his lips. Hiei jerked in surprise. He knew this was done, but to feel it . . . "It's all right," Kurama purred. "It's just a kiss."

Hiei let himself be pulled forward between Kurama's knees; the fox held his hips, caressing him through the fabric of his pants. When Kurama kissed him again, it was with an open mouth. Hiei let him in and groaned at the slow slide of the tongue coaxing his to play. Damn youko . . . so good at this.

"Do you like it?" Kurama asked in a sultry whisper. His hands moved up Hiei's hard stomach to his chest, stroking. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Stop and I'll kill you," Hiei growled. He hissed when Kurama's fingers stroked over his nipples through his shirt, then returned to tease at them. He felt himself getting hard. He'd never been more aware of himself than he was at that moment. Was this how Kurama felt?

"Take off your shirt," Kurama urged him, a new breathless quality to his already sensual voice. Hiei obeyed without question, all self-consciousness gone. "You too, Fox."

"I'm not wearing a shirt," the redhead replied in an amused tone as Hiei drew the shirt over his head.

In reply, Hiei took the edges of the white kimono and pushed them back over Kurama's shoulders, baring them. He got a teasing, nipping kiss for his pains. Hiei leaned in and kissed back for the first time, needing the contact. Kurama moaned.

It was a sound, Hiei decided, that he wanted to hear as often as possible.

Following his original purpose, Kurama pressed his mouth against Hiei's hard chest, hands returning to his hips. For the first time, Hiei's breathing seemed to stutter briefly, and grow heavy. Unerringly, the fox reached down and rubbed across Hiei's groin through his pants and the demon's hips jerked, a grunt escaping in his surprise.

Kurama angled his head up to look at Hiei's face and licked his lips when he saw that Hiei's eyes were closed, pleasure smoothing his face. Continuing to stroke, he watched as Hiei's mouth fell open and his chest rose and fall rapidly in an effort to breath evenly. Ah Hiei . . . what you do to me. He never thought to see the beginning of abandoned control in Hiei's countenance. He never thought to touch him as he was touching him, or consider what he wanted desperately to do next.

Watching that face, he began to unbuckle the first of three belts with one hand while exploring Hiei's shape with the other. He was big . . . bigger than expected for someone with such a small frame. Kurama shivered in anticipation.

"Sit here," he urged, guiding Hiei to the edge of the bed next to him. Kneeling, with his kimono half-on and half-off, he wedged himself between Hiei's knees, and finished removing the belts. The black pants were fastened in some inexplicable way, and Kurama puzzled them over them until Hiei's hands unfastened buttons that were hidden under the flap at the front.

Kurama glanced up. Hiei was staring down at him, eyes wide, intense. Waiting. Kurama merely smiled and pulled the pants down. Hiei hissed, then moaned as the fox took him in hand, curious.

Not much different than a male Ningen, or youko. The redhead stroked along the base of the cock, surprised that the black pubic hair was extremely fine and soft . . . once again like fur. Interesting.

"Fox, what the hell are you doing?" Hiei demanded in a strained voice.

"Just curious," Kurama replied mildly and kissed the tip.

"Shit!" Hiei stared down, fascinated to see his fox licking at the crown, and then the pleasure flashed up his spine again and he clenched his teeth, trying not to yell. What WAS that? The general type of ache he had been enduring was nothing like this!

He fell back on his elbows in shock as Kurama's hot mouth took him entirely. Holy--! Kurama's lips tightened down, moving his mouth up and down his hard cock. Hiei's chest rose and fell and he gasped for air, the feel of Kurama's hair across his stomach and the sight of that mouth taking him made him want to push forward into that heavenly heat, but Kurama was pulling back and flicking his tongue along the tip.

"Kurama ---" Hiei groaned. He wasn't sure exactly what he wanted . . . but there was something . . . it was driving him crazy!

Kurama pulled back all the way and raised his head to look at Hiei. His green eyes were dark as he licked his lips. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him, because he took Hiei into his mouth once again, moving up and down on his shaft faster than before.

Hiei gave up fighting it. Whatever it was, it was bigger than his resistance, and felt so damn good. He grabbed at Kurama's hair and thrust deeper into that heat, moaning. The redhead accommodated him, and sucked, his tongue caressing the underside of his cock.

Oh god oh god oh god . . . It was as if he couldn't see anymore, couldn't hear anymore. All he could feel was his length in Kurama's skilled mouth, and SOMETHING that was building. It was coming, bearing down on him like an inevitable storm, unstoppable.

His hands in Kurama's bright hair, Hiei arched, teeth bared.

And came for the first time in his life.

**********

"Hiei? Are you still alive?" Kurama's soft voice asked, invading the post-orgasmic daze that had almost made Hiei black out.

"Are you going to tell me THAT was 'just a kiss' as well?" Hiei muttered, struggling to his elbows.

Kurama stood up. His white kimono was more off of him than on, only hanging on by the small ties holding the edges together at his waist, leaving his arms and chest bare. Hiei's lethargy immediately vanished, replaced by hungry curiosity. What was under that kimono?

"Well," Kurama answered ruefully, "technically --" He stopped as the naked Hiei slid to his feet from the bed and began to untie Kurama's kimono. He gulped at the uncharacteristic and sensual boldness that his demon was now exhibiting.

Hiei's fingers undid the knot, and the whole thing slid to the floor, leaving the redhead entirely bare.

"Nothing underneath?" Hiei questioned with a little smile, his eyes on a very hard, very erect cock.

"I don't like . . . " Kurama's voice faltered as Hiei made no secret of staring at him. " . . . underwear."

"Don't blame you; they have to be the silliest garments I ever saw." The whole while, as Hiei spoke in his everyday normal tone, his eyes stayed intently trained on Kurama's organ. "Aren't you cold?"

"Uh, yes," Kurama replied, at a loss. Hiei's eyes were . . . rather predatory. Sensually predatory. "I wanted to ask you . . . "

"Hn, ask all you want," the little demon replied, taking Kurama's hand and pulling him to the bed.

"When did you . . . I mean, how did you . . . "

"When did I figure I loved you? When I figured it was Uremeshi you were screwing, and I didn't like it."

Kurama's eyes widened. The jealousy gambit WORKED? Wow. Chock one up for shoujo manga. He got up on the bed after Hiei and sat back against the headboard, wondering what the little darling was up to.

Not that he minded Hiei taking the initiative.

Hell, he'd had fantasies of that very thing for YEARS.

"What's up?" he asked curiously. Hiei was examining him like he was dinner.

"You are," Hiei smirked. He ran a light hand up Kurama's long leg, using the pads of his fingers. Kurama watched him, inquisitive. "I've always wondered . . . "

"Oh?" Kurama let out a breath as Hiei's fingers traced along a hip, then over his stomach.

"Oh, if you were as beautiful here as you are everywhere else."

Kurama blushed. "'Beautiful'? Don't you mean 'handsome'?"

"No, Fox, I mean beautiful. Uremeshi's handsome; you're beautiful." As Hiei's fingers explored up Kurama's chest, the little demon drew nearer, and finally threw a leg over Kurama's, straddling him. Kurama raised his hands to take hold of Hiei's hips, but the demon slapped lightly at them. "Oh no, you keep your hands to yourself, Fox."

Kurama bit his lip and lowered his hands to the bedding at his sides. He had hoped touching Hiei would distract him from the monstrous hard-on he was dealing with, but no such luck.

That's what you get for handing over the reins, Kurama.

He watched Hiei's eyes as the demon stroked and petted him here and there, along the collar and up the neck, across the cheeks and into his hair. The demon played with his hair for some time, seemingly fascinated by it.

Attempting to distract himself, he gazed at the carnelian pendant lying against Hiei's collarbone, but that did no good. As Hiei moved, it would move, and Kurama would find himself staring at Hiei's tempting little nipples, or his neck, which he sorely wanted to suck. He hadn't really gotten to play with Hiei before he had satisfied him . . .

"Kurama," Hiei muttered.

"Hm?"

"Do you want me to do you like you did me?"

Oh god, Kurama thought. Wouldn't I! Instead, he said: "Whatever you want."

"What if I want to screw you?"

Kurama drew in a breath, almost twitching in response to the image that evoked. "Fine."

"What if I want you to screw me?"

Even better. "What do YOU want?"

"I told you: everything and anything. As long as it's you, I couldn't care less what we do as long as I get to see you come."

Oh gods, I'd better shut him up or I'll be coming before he decides! "I've had . . . some fantasies."

Hiei smiled, a small lift of the corner of his mouth. "Oh? Anything I'm capable of?"

It was a valid question. Hiei wasn't experienced enough for his ultimate fantasy, but there were enough that required only a responsive Hiei, and not any technique at this point. Kurama eyed him, wondering what his lover would say.

"I want to fuck you," he said.

Hiei's eyes opened wide just for a second, then the little demon grinned outright. "Sure you can handle me?"

Kurama smiled in delight. "Oh, are you going to make it fun for me?"

"I might." Hiei looked down, inquisitively. "Doesn't that hurt?"

The fox bit his lip, half between laughing and crying. "Oh yes, it hurts. But that won't be for long." Grabbing Hiei's hips, he rolled the little demon under him, kissing him hard to distract the demon from struggling. It was a token struggle anyway, Hiei wriggling just enough to make it interesting. Hiei sucked on Kurama's tongue experimentally and Kurama stifled a groan. Was he insane to think he could get through this without completely losing it before he even got inside of him?

Hiei's fingers tangled into Kurama's long hair and he lifted his knees about the fox's hips, but froze when Kurama whimpered against his mouth.

Interesting. That felt nice, their cocks rubbing against each other. Hiei tilted his pelvis to increase the pressure. Kurama moaned, a sound that sent a pulse of pleasure up through his spine straight to his brain.

"So fuck me already," he murmured against the fox's lips, pressing up again.

Kurama shook his head minutely. He was panting as he tried to reply. "I-it's not that simple. Oh gods, stop DOING that . . ."

"Simplest thing in the world, Fox. I want to feel you inside me. So do it."

"It'll hurt you if we don't --"

"Che. When do I care about 'hurt'? Just fucking DO it, Kurama!" Hiei licked at the fox's chin, and then his throat, tempted to bite into that lovely flesh. Instead he scraped his canines there and sucked.

Kurama mewled, making Hiei wonder just how many different sounds he'd get out of his fox by the end of the night. Kurama must be in agony; he'd been hard and getting steadily harder . . . and Hiei finally understood how frustrating that could feel.

Kurama shifted suddenly, freeing his hand and sucking on two fingers before pushing it between their two bodies and probing past Hiei's cock and balls. Hiei hissed at the unfamiliar feeling of having someone --anyone-- pressing fingers against his anus, but swallowed heavily as another sensation, not at all uncomfortable, introduced itself.

"Am I hurting you?" Kurama asked anxiously, trying not to dwell on the tightness that seemed determined to push his fingers out, but felt . . . no, don't think about it.

Hiei moved experimentally, pressing down. Kurama's fingers slid further in. He grunted. Kurama had touched something inside that . . . "No," he managed, feeling himself on the verge of a sudden and full erection. "Doesn't hurt."

Kurama pushed his fingers all the way into that gripping heat, expecting to hear some indication of pain from his little lover, but there was nothing except a very excited Hiei underneath him. An aberration of his biology? He blinked. The possibilities were endless.

"Do it," Hiei groaned. "Just fuck me, Fox."

Am I really doing this? Kurama wondered in awe, as he raised himself up enough to stare down into Hiei's face. The eyes that stared back held nothing but a combination of need and trust. Kurama continued to watch as he shifted, cupped Hiei's buttocks, and slowly slid in. Hiei's mouth loosened as he exhaled, and his eyes closed.

Kurama bit his lip. Think about something else, anything else that isn't . . . so hot, so tight, and oh Inari on the mountain . . .

He pulled back and thrust back in, biting down on a moan. There was no way he could think about anything else . . . especially when, on the next shove, Hiei arched back, groaning. Kurama reached down and took Hiei's hand, guiding it to his own erection. Another fantasy becoming reality as he watched Hiei stroke himself. Kurama shifted back, bringing Hiei with him until he could feel the edge of the bed with his toes. Slowly, he slid one leg then the other over the side of the bed until he was standing. Holding Hiei under the knees, he raised the demon's legs over his shoulders and plunged in hard. Hiei gave a guttural cry, his head back and mouth open, completely surrendered to the pleasure.

The sight made Kurama moan deep in his throat. "Hiei--" he said in a strangled voice, hoarse.

"Don't stop," the demon whispered. "Come ON, Kurama." Touching himself was all very fine, but this deeper sensation was winning hands down, so to speak. And Kurama really looked like he was holding back, his face flushed and his teeth worrying his bottom lip.

Kurama couldn't remember wanting someone so badly that everything else was trivial, even his own pleasure. For once, he didn't want to come, because that would be the end. But the sight of Hiei under him, and being inside of him was too much. When Hiei fondled himself, arching back, Kurama began to fuck him in earnest, trusting his own body to seek its own paradise, giving into it as Hiei was giving into it.

When Hiei groaned way down deep, it was all Kurama could do to keep from coming, and when the little demon did come, a ragged shout escaping, Kurama let go.

Moments later, both of them sweating and curled around eat other, Hiei gave a short hoarse laugh. "You can do that to me anytime, Fox."

Kurama only smiled serenely. Yes, but when will you do it to me?

Love's Imitation Special!

Kurama turned in his sleep, half in a dream, half-aware of the darkness around him. A nebulous wisp of night-borne ki made him smile sleepily.

"Fox," a deep voice whispered in his ear as a slight weight settled behind him.

"Mm." Kurama savored the hands that smoothed his hair from his face and slid around his chest to unbutton his pajama top. Still half-asleep, he vaguely recalled something from yesterday . . . something Hiei had asked him to do, making him anticipate . . .

The pajama top was miraculously off, and Kurama felt himself being pushed onto his stomach. Oh yes, Hiei had wanted him to . . .

Kurama's eyes came open, wide-awake. His hands were behind his back and he attempted to move them, and found them bound. "Hiei --"

Hiei gave a little evil laugh that made Kurama shiver. "No words tonight, Fox. Remember? This is your present."

Then Kurama remembered. As Hiei gagged him gently and tied the cloth behind his head, the redhead recalled Hiei saying something about a gift.

Hiei surveyed his work with critical eyes, and nodded to himself. Gagged and bound, Kurama lay facedown on the bed. The little demon pushed the covers to the foot, then took hold of the elastic waist of Kurama's pajama pants and pulled them down, revealing an enticing view of Kurama's luscious rear.

"I hope you did what I told you to," Hiei said.

Kurama's reply was muffled, but sounded affirmative. Well, he's find out soon enough.

Hiei climbed up on Kurama, straddling his lower back, and leaned down, his mouth next to his fox's ear. "I know what your fantasy is, Kurama." The redhead involuntarily tensed and Hiei chuckled. "So I want you to imagine we're on our first mission together; we're two thieves with a common goal. We've camped for the night, and I'm really turned on by you. But there's always a chance you could reject me; you outclass me after all."

Hiei reached behind him and caressed the curved derriere below him. Kurama was still, waiting. Over the month and a half of their relationship, Hiei had developed an unerring instinct for bedroom talk. Used to simple and direct language in day-to-day interactions, it wasn't much of a leap to the very direct language that seemed to get Kurama really hot.

To tell the truth, he enjoyed whispering obscene words into Kurama's ears as they fucked.

"So I'm going to tie you up . . . " Hiei watched very carefully now. " . . . and I'm going to rape you good and hard, Fox."

Behind the gag, Kurama groaned softly. Hiei knew that sound, despite the distortion, and smirked.

He scooted off of the boy and told him: "Spread yourself for me, Fox." When Kurama hesitated, he slapped him hard on the ass and added, "Do it."

Kurama obeyed, keeping his shoulders to the mattress and getting up on his knees and spreading them apart. Hiei liked that position.

"I've been watching you, Kurama. I like what I see. Even if you are a Ningen, you're too beautiful by far. I've wanted to strip you down and screw you unconscious more than once." Hiei surveyed the effects of his words. As expected, his lover was tumescent, which made Hiei even more pleased with himself. After all, this was Kurama's present. It had to be perfect.

Hiei began to slowly undress, trying to make the removal of each piece of clothing as loud as possible. When he got to each belt, he could see Kurama's chest heave in excitement. Oh, Fox, you're in for one hell of a night. Sliding the belts off, he made quick work of his pants. Kurama had turned his face to the side and was trying to watch, but couldn't see much because of the angle.

"You might as well enjoy it," Hiei said, playing the "bad guy" with glee, "'cause you don't have any choice, anyway. I bet you want it . . . I bet the idea of my cock raping you makes you want to come."

Kurama gulped and Hiei laughed softly when the fox, no longer able to keep still, moved restlessly, his thighs trembling. Hiei fondled the round buttocks presented so nicely in front of him, and slid a questing finger down the center. "What a tight little asshole you have. That will feel REALLY good when I shove it in." He slid a teasing finger just within and sighed silently in relief. Kurama HAD lubricated himself as instructed. Thank the gods. He pushed his finger within and Kurama wriggled.

"Stop that!" Hiei hit him across the other ass cheek, and Kurama yelped behind his gag. "I'll do it in my own good time, youko." Just to be a little unexpected, he pushed two fingers in rather quickly and the fox cried out.

Thankfully, not in pain.

"Oh yes," Hiei purred. He pushed in and out a few times and Kurama began to sob in frustration. Hiei watched his flushed face, the eyes closed above the gag. The fox was more than ready for real action.

He withdrew his fingers, rose up to his knees and used his hands to spread Kurama farther. With one smooth, hard thrust he pushed himself in all the way to the hilt, moaning in delight. Kurama gave out a half-cry, half-groan.

"Take it, yeah, that's it. Take all of me." Hiei slowly pumped in and out of that slick tightness. "What's it feel like, Fox, to be tied up and fucked? I bet half of the Makai wish they were in my place right now." More than half, Hiei mentally amended.

Gods that feels good. His instinct was to reach down and give Kurama a hand (so to speak) but that wasn't in this particular fantasy. The illusion was that Hiei was having his way with the fox; Kurama's pleasure was secondary. An interesting fantasy.

Kurama was moaning behind the gag each time Hiei pushed in, unerringly hitting the place of pleasure as if by accident. Hiei grabbed his hips and began to drive in even harder and faster, talking to Kurama under his breath. The redhead was starting to struggle, and Hiei knew why.

"You want to come, Fox? That's too bad. You're going to take me and take me until I'm satisfied." He leaned forward, pushing Kurama's shoulders more firmly into the bedding and bucked hard into him, feeling the inevitable tide that would push him over the edge.

Kurama cried and whimpered behind his gag. It was too much; it was perfect. He could feel his own climax just beyond his reach. Hiei's hardness forcing its way into his desperate body, those sexy words, his helplessness; he never thought he could have them all so perfectly.

Suddenly Hiei was withdrawing and Kurama moaned in disappointment. The demon turned Kurama over on his back and the fox forced his eyes open, through the long hair plastered against his face.

Miraculously the words kept coming as Hiei thrust hard back into Kurama, making him arch and sob. "Do you feel it, my cock raping your tight little hole? Maybe every night I should do this, huh? When everyone's asleep, I'll make you spread your legs for me and fuck you thoroughly. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Hiei watched with satisfaction as Kurama writhed and cried, his penis hard and bobbing with each thrust, shaking loose drops of fluid.

He had to close his eyes towards the end because the sight was too much for him to handle; he needed his whole concentration. He stifled a cry as his pleasure came crashing down on him, loosing him into his lover with a few sharp thrusts.

Dimly he could hear Kurama screaming behind the gag and thought with relief, Thank god. It's perfect.

He collapsed across the body under him and after a few deep breaths, lethargically untied Kurama's gag and released his arms. Sighing, Kurama rolled into his arms and they lay, drinking in the air and the feeling of contentment.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Fox," Hiei said softly into Kurama's neck.

Kurama's laugh was faint, tired and happy. "You're definitely worth your weight in chocolate."

 

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