WARNING! This fanfic contains most if not all of the
following: graphic descriptions of S&M, non-consensual m/m sex,
violence, rape, torture, physical and/or emotional abuse, humiliation,
degradation, suffering, regret, angst, misunderstandings, etc. If _any_
of the above bothers you even a little PLEASE DON'T READ ANY
FURTHER! If you do not heed this warning, I am not responsible.
Possible spoilers.


PENALTY

by Haruka (amazontrio@yahoo.com)



I failed.

It wasn't an easy idea to get used to. In my five-hundred-plus
years of kitsune existence, rarely had I not come out the victor in battle.
What made this time especially hard to accept was that I had lost the
fight not only for myself, but for my friends who depended on me. There
had been no fatalities, thank the beings that took pity on my stupidity.
However, Yuusuke's trigger finger, the one that fired his rei gun, had
been all but severed. He would require a healer more powerful than I to
repair the damage. Kuwabara, too, had been injured. Although this was
hardly unusual for the big oaf/teddy bear, knowing that the blood soaking
his pant leg had been due to my carelessness made it worse.

Then there was Hiei. I owed those gracious beings another vote
of thanks for sparing him injury. Hiei wouldn't care so much about that,
though. He'd just be annoyed that we had to retreat. If he ever had any
respect for me, I knew I'd lost it that day. Yuusuke and Kuwabara would
forgive me--as humans, they knew what it was like to have failings. But
while my present form was that of a fifteen-year-old human, I was still
Youko Kurama inside. As a youkai himself, Hiei expected more of me
because I was able to deliver. At least, before that day I could.

I stopped before my front door. The porch light shone down on
me like a spotlight pointing out the star failure in the day's battle. I had
a whole other set of problems to deal with now. My human mother must
have noticed my absence or the light would not be on. I took a deep
breath and opened the door, preparing to disappoint yet another
important person in my life.

"Shuichi?" Minamino Shiori called out the name she'd given me
at birth.

"Yes, Kaasan." I shut the door behind me as she came into the
foyer.

"You left without a word again," she said. "And you missed
dinner."

"I'm sorry," I replied truthfully. I had been up in my room
studying when Koenma summoned me. It was the fourth time in six days
that had happened, and Shiori was rightfully upset by my unexplained
disappearances.

"Where's your new jacket?" she asked. "Did you wear it today?"

I had, and it was gone. I'd used it as a tourniquet for Kuwabara's
leg. "I ... I lost it," I said. "I'm sorry, Kaasan. I'll pay for another."

She shook her head. "It isn't the jacket that bothers me so much,
Shuichi. It's the sneaking out, missing meals and sometimes your curfew.
Every time I ask you where you've been you avoid my question, but I
can't allow it this time. Where were you?"

What could I say? That there had been an unusual number of
disturbances in Reikai that required her fifteen-year-old son's five-
hundred years of experience to fight? Hating myself even more than I
thought possible, I hung my head. "I can't tell you."

I didn't have to look at her to feel her stiffen. Shiori rarely got
angry with me, and now I was not only openly defying her, but I'd
probably hurt her feelings by not confiding in her. When she spoke, I
could hear more pain in her voice than anger.

"All right, Shuichi. I can't force you to tell me, but I can't let you
get away with this anymore, either. You will have no allowance for a
month."

Tears stung my eyes. I loved her so much and she tried so hard.
I felt guilty that her punishment wasn't as severe as it should have been.
In my Youko form, I still occasionally indulged in Spirit World thievery,
so I need never go broke. I vowed I would try to resist that temptation
out of respect for my mother, but I knew I would still be getting off
lightly.

"Go up to your room now. As you've already missed dinner, you
can do without it tonight." She gave the top of my head a kiss, then went
toward the kitchen, probably to turn the heat off the meal she'd kept
warm for me.

It seemed like a longer walk up the stairs than usual, or maybe the
weight of my conscience had just grown heavier. As I reached my
bedroom door, I wondered if anyone's heart ever exploded from being too
full of pain and regret.

I supposed I shouldn't have been surprised to find Hiei perched on
the windowsill when I entered my room. It wasn't as if he'd never been
there before, although his stay was always short and to the point. Usually
it was to discuss strategy for an upcoming fight. This time would be
different. I closed the door. "How are they?" I asked.

"They'll be all right, no thanks to you."

I deserved that, but coming from him gave it the intensity of a
physical blow. "I'm sorry," I said, already knowing it wasn't enough.

"If you'd been injured, you might have had an excuse, Kurama,"
he retorted. "I've never seen you fight so carelessly."

I wondered how he'd feel if he knew why my concentration had
been shot.

"It was all my fault," I answered.

"Hn," Hiei replied in contempt. "Your idle words won't change
what you've done. Neither will your false sense of shame."

"It's not false!" I said angrily. "I feel terrible about what
happened! I was the front line, if I hadn't hesitated to summon my plant,
those demons wouldn't have--" I ran a hand through my red hair in
frustration.

"Why did you hesitate then?"

I felt an ironic sense of deja vu. Shiori had asked me one
question I couldn't answer and now Hiei was doing the same with
another. Given a choice, I would rather have answered my mother
truthfully than confess to Hiei. I slowly turned to look into his ruby-red
eyes, so intense, so seemingly cold and yet burning with his own inner
fire. I felt the floor drop under my feet and my stomach with it. Yes, it
was certain. I'd suspected it for a long time, but at the key moment in the
battle when I should have played my part, I looked into Hiei's eyes and
knew, just as I did now. That moment of affirmation had been my
downfall, causing me to let my friends down.

"Well?" Hiei snapped.

I straightened my shoulders. "I can't give you a reason, Hiei. It
just happened. I wish it had been me to suffer the results rather than
Yuusuke and Kuwabara."

"But it wasn't," he said. "They were injured and you weren't." He
snorted. "Hell, your mommy didn't even punish you worth a damn."

I bristled, as I always do when another youkai makes a slight on
my human mother. Before I could retort, though, Hiei was in front of
me, having moved quicker than my eye could see.

"Which brings me to why I'm here," he said.

There was another reason other than to stomp my heart into dust?
I wondered. "And that is?" I asked.

"King Enma returned from his trip in time to hear what
happened." A nasty half-smile quirked one side of his mouth. "He was
furious that the demons got past us, and of course Koenma told him how
it happened."

So that was it. Whenever he left his son in charge of Reikai, King
Enma held him responsible for anything that went wrong during his
absence and punished him for it. Hiei wanted me to know that someone
else had suffered because of my mistake. I sighed heavily.

"Please tell Koenma how sorry I am. I hope his father wasn't too
harsh with him."

Now the half-smile had become whole. Even Hiei's fangs were
showing.

"Koenma wasn't punished this time. I told Enma that if you got
off scot-free--which you certainly would as your human mother is such
a softie--you'd become even more unreliable in the future."

I was beginning to feel a cold sense of dread. "What did he say
to that?" I asked warily.

"He felt I knew you better than he did, and if that was my opinion,
he had to agree with my reasoning."

"So I'm to be punished instead of Koenma?" I asked.

"That's the 'bottom' line," Hiei quipped.

I winced. Enma's punishment of choice for Koenma was usually
spanking, and the prospect of taking his place was almost as painful as
Hiei's awful pun. Hardest of all was to have Hiei take so much obvious
pleasure in being Enma's messenger. He must really hate me now, I
thought sadly. How ironic. The day I admit to myself that I love him, he
comes to despise me.

"All right," I sighed again, "let's go to Reikai so I can get this over
with."

Hiei shook his head. "You don't have to go anywhere."

"How am I supposed to take my punishment if I don't go to King
Enma?" I asked impatiently.

The fanged grin appeared once more. "I volunteered to punish
you for him."

I could only stare in response.

"After all," Hiei continued, "I'm the only able-bodied member of
our group at the moment besides you. We agreed it was fitting that I
extract justice for Yuusuke and the gorilla."

"Y-You don't plan to punish me the way Enma would, do you?"
I asked. He couldn't. He wouldn't.

He smiled. "I do."

My mind whirled, unable to grasp all the implications at once.
Hiei, the love of my life, wanted to hurt and embarrass me and apparently
planned to enjoy it. I thought that during our long association I had
touched that icy heart of his enough that he considered me a friend. If
that had been the case, it was over now, and I could forget any lingering
hope that he would ever love me.

"Of course, you can fight it," Hiei drawled. "But the end result
will be the same."

Sure it would, because he'd not hesitate to do damage in a
struggle, while I cared too much to hurt him back. My shoulders
slumped. "I won't fight you."

"Then strip," he ordered.

I untied my sash and slipped out of the tunic, then pulled my shirt
over my head. Hiei watched impassively as I tugged my pants down and
stepped out of them. Standing naked before him, I couldn't meet his
eyes.

"Hn," was his only comment before he walked over to sit on the
edge of my bed. "Come here."

I obeyed, shivering slightly as the breeze of my movement passed
over usually-unexposed parts. I stopped in front of him, noticing uneasily
that my penis was at his eye-level.

Not that he cared. As soon as I was within reach, he grabbed my
arm and yanked me face-down over his lap. I had the wind knocked out
of me, but even that wasn't as bad as knowing that my bare bottom was
uplifted and exposed to Hiei's view.

I felt his left hand rest on my lower back to steady me, then the
other was stroking my behind. The erotic sensations that resulted took
me by surprise.

"Not bad skin," he remarked. "For a human."

"If you're going to do it then do it!" I snapped, afraid that I would
become aroused by the feather-light touch if it persisted.

"I'll start when I'm ready," he replied, still teasing my sensitive
skin with his fingers. "I just thought I should tell you what Enma said to
me before I left."

"What?" I asked from behind gritted teeth.

The fingers disappeared. "No mercy," he said, then landed the
first whack.

I should have expected it, but I was still unprepared for both the
impact and the pain. I gasped.

"What's the matter, Kurama?" he asked, whacking me again.
"Didn't think a man of my stature could have much strength?"

On the contrary, I had seen and admired his muscular upper body
many times. His height had never been a factor in how I felt about him.
"Don't put words in my mouth, Hiei," I murmured.

Another painful forceful spank assaulted me and I winced. This
was starting to hurt. A lot. Also suffering was my penis, which insisted
on growing harder against Hiei's leg with every blow. How much longer
before he noticed it? Why was I reacting this way?

*WHACK* "It could have been worse, you know," Hiei
remarked as if he were making polite conversation at a party instead of
spanking a fellow demon. *WHACK* "Enma thought Yuusuke and
Kuwabara deserved to witness your punishment, but I talked him out of
it." *WHACK*

I squirmed, uncomfortably aware that the thought of witnesses
had increased the blood flow to my member. What was wrong with me?

Hiei landed an extra-hard spank. "Stop moving around, you can't
escape."

I didn't tell him that I wasn't trying to get away, but I couldn't stop
squirming, either. My bottom was already stinging and Hiei was just
warming up.

"Th-Thank you for talking him out of that," I managed, then drew
in my breath sharply as he swatted my undercurve smartly.

"I didn't do it for you." *WHACK* "I wanted no one here who
would stop me once you started crying." *WHACK*

I bristled, even as my face burned from embarrassment and pain.
It was bad enough he was eliciting response from my hardening staff,
how dare he assume he could bring me to tears!

Something wet splashed onto my hand and I realized in horror
that I was already crying. When had that started?

*WHACK* "Your rear's almost as red as your hair," Hiei pointed
out.

"Thank you for sharing," I replied sarcastically, earning myself
another painful blow.

"Is it the kitsune in you that makes you such a smart mouth?" he
asked, slamming his palm against my tortured bottom again.

My nose was running and I wanted to sniffle, but I didn't,
knowing he'd gloat at my tears. My penis was rock-hard now, and in
need of relief. I shifted slightly, hoping for a little more contact against
Hiei's leg.

*WHACK* Stop it, Kurama," he warned. "You come on my leg
and I'll beat you black and blue." *WHACK*

I bit my lip to keep from crying out. Arrogant bastard, I thought
bitterly. I hated him! How could I have ever thought otherwise. I
reached a trembling hand up to my hair and produced a rose.

It was promptly plucked from my fingers. "And what were you
planning to do with this?" Hiei asked in amusement. "Kill me, perhaps?
No such luck, Fox." His arm wrapped around my waist and he began
raining a series of hard, steady blows on my backside. I gave an initial
yelp and tried to struggle off his lap, but he held me fast.

Within a few minutes, it was all over. I had been reduced to a
physical being made up of pain and regret. Heavy sobs wracked my sore,
weakened body and I no longer cared to keep them to myself. My penis
had gone unsatisfied and like my rear end, it throbbed in agony. I wished
I'd never looked into Hiei's eyes during that battle. I wished I'd never
fallen in love with him. I wished I'd never been reborn.

Hiei's hand brushed against my bottom and I whimpered,
expecting another blow. Instead, his fingers slipped between my legs and
wrapped around my length. A few strokes later, I had relief from that
pain, and my seed was coating Hiei's hand.

"Why?" I whispered flatly, unable to even raise my head to look
at him.

"Because I didn't want to enter you dry," he answered, and parted
my sore cheeks to rub my own moisture against my opening.

Reality began to seep back into my consciousness as he slid out
from under me and lay me back onto the bed. I felt his now-familiar
hands spreading my legs, and the touch of his bare leg against my thigh.
When had he gotten undressed? I wondered. Then the more pressing
question of 'why' he was undressed came to mind. I finally mustered the
strength to turn my head. "Hiei?" I questioned softly.

He smiled at me. A real smile. Then he rammed into me.

It hurt, but only briefly before my body, already aching with need
generated from the spanking, accepted his willingly. He thrust, I pushed,
creating a rhythm that made my burning skin, my humiliation, and all
other points moot. All I wanted now was Hiei, beautiful, dark, cruel, and
sexy.

We climaxed together, shuddering in the aftermath as the roller
coaster of my emotions wrestled to make themselves clear. Hiei crawled
up to lie beside me, stroking my damp hair tenderly as I searched his ruby
eyes for answers.

"Even now, sweaty and puffy-eyed, you're still gorgeous," he said
with wonder in his voice. "How do you do that?"

"Well, first you get an obnoxious fire demon to beat the living
crap out of you ...." I said, pushing myself up on one elbow. "Why, Hiei?
I know Enma didn't tell you to rape me afterwards."

"Are you objecting?"

"No," I replied, tired of trying to hide my feelings. "But you didn't
do it for me."

"You're right," he said frankly. "I did it for us."

My eyebrows must have gone up, because he gave me his fang-
toothed grin.
"
That's right, Fox. I've wanted you as much as you've wanted
me."

"You knew?" I breathed.

He laughed. It should have been strange, coming from him, but
to me it sounded throaty and beautiful. "Of course I knew! You're as
easy to read as a billboard, Kurama." He brushed his knuckles over my
cheek, an uncharacteristic gesture of tenderness. "I'll admit I was
surprised to see love in your eyes when you looked at me, but not as
much as when I realized I felt the same." His grin turned sly. "Why else
do you think I made up that story about Enma?"

"Hiei ...," I started to say, then stopped. "Made up?" I repeated,
thinking I must have heard him wrong.

"Enma's still away on his trip," Hiei revealed, his ruby eyes
twinkling. "He won't be back until tomorrow."

"You mean," I said slowly, "that there was never any order for me
to be punished?"

"You don't think Koenma would order such a thing, do you? He's
not going to mention your screw-up to his father at all."

I could feel my well-checked demonic temper flaring. "Hiei, I
ought to--"

"Look at it this way," he chuckled. "Your mother made you miss
dinner, but at least you had dessert."

"Hiei!" I said angrily. "I demand an--"

He kissed me into silence. "We're youkai, Kurama. Love can
hurt when our kind is involved." He wrapped a possessive arm around
my middle and closed his eyes. "Rest now, foxy one. You can be
indignant in the morning."

Love can hurt? Is that how he justified what he'd done to me? I
wanted to kill him. No, I wanted to make him suffer and then kill him.

I sighed. I still loved him, so I supposed murdering him was out
of the question. That didn't mean that he would get away with deceiving
me. I lay my cheek against his hair and smiled to myself. When King
Enma returned the next day, I would just have to inform him of how a
certain fire demon used his name for his own means. Enma would be
justifiably furious and order the demon punished. Naturally, I would
offer to handle it.

Content at last, I closed my eyes.


Yu Yu Hakusho characters are not mine.

(1997)

This fic is exclusive to ff.net and my own private fanfic page - do not re-post it.