Puppet Master by Gaki

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Picking on Hisoka too much, but the boy screams angst and hurt me! And how am I to deny him all that? *coughs* Right, Tsuzuki makes the scene! Only to be confused.

[1] = A poem by William Blake. I thought it was fitting. ^^

-- past --
~~ remembered ~~

The dictionary defines sane as 'mentally sound and healthy'. It defines insane as 'exhibiting serious and debilitating mental disorder'. Who are we to say who is sane and insane? How does one become insane? Does hearing voices in your head not belonging to yours mean you're insane?

Maybe those who we called insane are actually sane. Maybe they see something no one else can see, or rather, refuses to see. Maybe they see the truth in everything. The human mind cannot handle truth. Truth is like the sun. One cannot look at it straight in the eye without blinking or being blinded.

So does that mean it is truth itself that drives one to insanity?

A tired, strained voice spoke out into the darken room. "What are you doing to me?" He pulled at his chains again and winced when the sharp edge bit into his skin, making him bleed. The cold still air of the room chilled his chest. His shirt hung open and he closed his eyes, refusing to see the red markings on his body.

Muraki was standing near the window again, looking out at the sky. "The question isn't what I'm doing to you but what you are doing to yourself, boy." He turned his head and looked at Hisoka, the glaring of the sun's light gleaming off of his glasses.

"W... what?"

"A man once said, 'The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.'"

Later that day...

Tsuzuki smiled down at the full bag of sweets in his arms. Hisoka would be mad, he knew, but how did he expected him to walk by a bakery and not buy at least something from it? He smiled again, wider. Besides, a few sweets might be just the thing Hisoka needs to make him not so sour! He grinned to himself as he turned the corner towards the appointed meeting spot. Letting out a small sigh of disappointment he continued on his way, letting his amethyst colored eyes scan the area around him. Maybe I can convince Hisoka to relax today. We both need it, well, he needs it more. After what happened to Tsubaki-hime...

He let his thoughts trail off on the subject. A frown appearing on his face as he thought about the girl who finally made his partner break down into tears. Of course, when they had first become partners, he'd always wonder what would cause tears to form in those eyes. Him, being an overly emotional person, could cry about anything and here was his partner, a seemingly standoffish boy, who didn't feel the least bit sad when Mitani-sensei had fallen down in front of them or when Kazusa gave up her life to save Hijiri.

Hijiri.

He suddenly remembered the other boy's smile. He would look like that. If he'd smile. That in itself was impossible. Nothing could make Hisoka smile, but that didn't stop him of course. He had a mission in life, well, his after life that is, to cause a smile no matter how tiny to bloom on Hisoka's face. Besides, even Tatsumi smiled at him every now and then. No one was safe from the Tsuzuki charm. Of course, neither was he. Shuddering at the thought of Hakushaku ogling him during the arching tournament, he finally reached his destination.

Only to stare open mouth when he found someone he never thought he'd see in place of Hisoka smiling pleasantly up at him from where he sat.

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting to see you, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki smiled.

He didn't know how long he'd spent just staring blankly at the ground. The distant sound of a water drop hitting the cold floor could be clearly heard from where he hung against the wall. His shit was still open, his chest still burning from the marks across his body. He didn't pay much attention to any of that though. No, his mind was elsewhere. Lost in his own thoughts and Muraki's words, he paid no heed to his dark and dreary surroundings.

~~

"Wha.. what are you saying? I'm a liar?"

"Aa. You are a liar. You refuse to see what is clearly put out before you." Muraki turned then, facing him.

He glared at Muraki, tired of the game he was playing. "I don't understand what you're trying to say."

Muraki took off his glasses, looking at the slim frames. "You refuse to see the truth." He placed it back into his pocket and looked back at Hisoka. "Your parents. They were insane, weren't they?"

~~

He spoke out into the darkness. "No."

"You don't seem too pleased to see me, Tsuzuki-san." Muraki smiled, stating the obvious.

He never knew he could loath and fear anyone so much as he did Muraki. How the man before him could smile and drink his tea calmly then turn around and kill other people without so much as blinking never stopped to shock and sicken him. Here was a person who didn't really need any reason behind his actions. Here was a person bent on hurting others for his own gain.

Here was a person who was completely insane.

He continued to glare at the doctor, willing the hate in his eyes to burn twin holes through Muraki's silver head. That only made the man more amused. "Where is he?" He all but demanded.

"Hn? The boy?" Another smile as he reached for his tea. "The boy is fine, Tsuzuki-san. There is no need to worry about him."

Tsuzuki continued to glare at Muraki as he fisted his hands. "What are you doing to him?"

Muraki looked at him straight in the eyes, cool silver meeting raging violet. "I'm showing him the truth."

He blinked, confused. The truth? Muraki showing Hisoka the truth? What could a person like Muraki know the truth about anything? "What? What are you talking about?"

Muraki casually sipped his tea, then placed it back on the table. "I'm showing him the truth." He repeated, as if talking to a child. Tracing his finger along the rim of the cup he continued. "And the truth is, Tsuzuki-san." He paused, meeting Tsuzuki's eyes with a malice smile. "You don't care about him."

Purple eyes stopped glaring and turned wide. "What?!"

~~

"Your father, did he take you somewhere once? Where did he take you, boy?"

"I..." He closed his eyes. "Shut up! Shut up, Muraki!"

~~

-- Short legs tried to keep up as he held on tightly onto his father's hand. Wide innocent green eyes looked up at the man who was leading him off into thick forest.

"Otou-sama?? Where are we going?" --

His breathing picked up. He could feel it. He could feel the cold air of that night long ago touching his skin. The crisp clean air of the forest around him. The darkness and the feel of eyes watching him from a place his young mind would never know. He didn't like it.

He didn't like the dark.

~~

An amused chuckle. "The more you refuse to see it the more it will come. Where did your father take you?"

"... No. He didn't take me anywhere!"

~~

-- "Otou-sama?? Where are you taking me?"

His father refused to answer him. --

~~

"Where, boy?"

~~

His body shivered in the cold room. "Stop it. I... I don't want..."

"The truth, Tsuzuki-san, is that you are afraid to be alone. Therefore you use the boy to keep you company. You don't care what happens to him. You only care about yourself." The finger continued on it's lazy adventure around the rim. "You want to open him up so he could take you in. So that he'll never leave your side." Muraki stopped his finger and looked at him. "And that, Tsuzuki-san, is the truth."

"N.. no. You're wrong!" He had to be wrong. He didn't use Hisoka to keep him company. Sure, he got lonely sometimes when no one was around and he didn't like that. No one liked being lonely, right? So it was natural that he would want Hisoka around to keep him company. Nothing wrong with that. Nothing.

Muraki glanced at Tsuzuki's clenched fists which were shaking on the table. Chuckling a bit, he lifted the cup up and took a sip. Placing it down, he looked into Tsuzuki's eyes. "Am I really, Tsuzuki-san? You are no better than I am." He continued with a slight smile.

"We both use him for something."

His breathing became labored as he struggled to keep the unwanted memories from flooding back. Cold sweat trailed down his brow and neck as his chest moved up and down. He clenched his teeth, face red with anger, hurt and pain. He will not let Muraki do this to him. He will not let that man succeed in whatever he was trying to do. But then, as he stood there alone in the darken room, it was easy to believe he was elsewhere.

Easy to imagine that the cold floor was actually dirt ground. The cool air a slight wind touching his exposed skin from underneath a kimono. Not hard to think that the cuffs around his wrists was a large hand holding onto him.

-- "Otou-sama? I want to go see the fireflies. May I go?" He waited quietly as the tall figure of his father stood there in the shadows, his back to him. He really did want to go see the fireflies. He'd heard the maids talk about them. About how beautiful they were. "Otou-sama?"

The figure shifted slightly, his father's head turned to the side, looking at him from the corner of his eyes. "... You want to see fireflies?" --

"No." It was nothing but a whisper at first, but then he said it again. This time, stronger. As if he was trying not to convince Muraki, but himself. "No, Muraki. I am not like you. I am nothing like you." Tsuzuki growled lowly, his eyes burning. "I would never use Hisoka. Whatever you're planning to do to him-"

Muraki cut him off with an amused chuckle. "You don't have to worry, Tsuzuki-san. I won't kill him. Besides, he's the one thing that would always draw you to me. What fun would it be if I killed off a fish's favorite worm?" A change in his eyes. "Your eyes are most beautiful when you glare at me like that, Tsuzuki-san."

He was determined not to be sidetracked by that comment. He tightened his fists, willing himself not to lunge forward and grab Muraki by the front of his shirt. That was what the other man wanted. He wanted him to lose his cool and he wasn't about to let himself fall into his trap.

"I won't let you hurt him, Muraki. If it's me you want-"

"It is always you that I want, Tsuzuki-san. You don't have to worry about that." Muraki all but leered at him from across the table.

"Then let Hisoka go! I'll come with you! Just let him go!"

[1] He vaguely remembered a poem he had read from one of the books in the library at Meifu. He faintly heard it again in the back of his head as he let himself fall back into the haunting memory.

"Father, father, where are you going? Oh, do not walk so fast!"

-- His father all but dragged him behind his tall form. He tried to keep up as fast as he could, but he was only a child after all.

Why wouldn't his father slow down? --

"Speak, father, speak to your little boy, Or else I shall be lost."

-- "Otou-sama? Are we going to see the fireflies?" Why didn't his father answer him? Was he excited? Was that why he didn't answer?

Why didn't his father look down at him? It was getting darker and darker as his father lead him to someplace he didn't know. He didn't like the dark. It made him think of strange creatures, horrible serpents looking at him from behind a veil of nothingness.

"Otou-sama?" --

The night was dark, no father was there.

-- His father finally stopped, standing silently in one place as he looked towards a large stone in front of them. He looked at it from behind the safety of his father's taller form. Why were they here? What was his place? He didn't like, he didn't like it one bit.

"Hisoka." His father spoke finally, his voice deep. "There's something I want to show you."

He looked up at his father, his eyes wide with trust in them. Trust that his father would protect him if anything would happen to him now or ever. Trust that he was safe as long as he was around. "Yes?" --

The child was wet with dew;

-- "I want to show you." His father step forward, his hand at the small of his back.

His green eyes widen suddenly when he noticed that his father was pushing him toward the large rock. "Otou-sama?"

"I want to show you. Your grave!"

A hard shove and he was suddenly faced down on the ground. His breath quickened as pulled himself up fast, dirt sticking itself on his cheek and hands, soiling his clean clothes. He whimpered as he heard a hissing from all around him. Standing up quickly, he turned around to find that his father was no longer there. His one and only means of safety had left him alone in the dark.

He shrieked as a snake coiled itself around his small body.

"TOU-SAMA!!" --

The mire was deep, and the child did weep,

-- From where he laid motionless on the ground, he noticed many things. He noticed that the ground was actually quite wet in the dry air. He could see a beetle making it's long and tumbling way across the rocky ground from where he once stood. It was cold out, he could feel the air breathing against his legs, causing goose bumps to form on them.

He didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

He didn't like the fact that he couldn't move. Didn't like how the snakes all had surrounded him, causing him to choke and cry non-stop. Didn't like the horrible sounds coming from the forest around him.

He didn't like the fact that as the fog drifted away, his father was still nowhere to be seen. --

And away the vapour flew.