Author: merrow - PG-13 - English - Drama - Reviews: 89
Yuki felt irritable all through dinner. Tooru had insisted on making dinner and had fried up the salmon with one of the yams. She'd sliced up the cabbage and mixed it with the berries and dandelion greens to make a salad. Yuki brushed back his hair and ate another piece of salmon. He wished he could have turned his nose up at the fish completely. But Honda-san would have worried, Kyou would have smirked, and he was hungry. Yuki had hardly heard her exclaiming how nice it was to have fresh greens over the unsettling thoughts roiling around in his mind. He wanted to present her with the strawberries but the time never seemed quite right. He wanted to see her surprise, her happiness at them but was unwilling to share the moment with Kyou. He was disgusted at himself. It was wrong of him to deny her the strawberries just because the cat would get to see her smile as well as he. It was incredibly selfish of him. But he just couldn't get himself to reach for the towel hidden in the corner.
Kyou put another piece of fish on Tooru's plate and insisted she eat it. She made a weak protest, but after some cryptic remarks about strength consented to at least try to finish the portion. Yuki narrowed his eyes as he watched the other two interact. Something had gone on today while he'd been out gathering. There was an air between them of something shared, something special. They spoke casually around a subject that seemed just for the two of them to know about. Tooru asked Kyou if they would "start" soon and the flame haired youth would only reply self-importantly with "we'll see". Start what, Yuki wondered. See what? He wanted to ask, but he didn't want to look like he felt left out. He didn't want to look like he didn't know something the cat knew. He didn't want them to know it hurt, not knowing.
After dinner Kyou lounged in the waning light of the sun, idly watching the branches move in the trees. Absentmindedly he twisted and twirled a few strands of his hair between his fingers. For the first time in a while he felt full, content and fulfilled. Not even Yuki's continuing bad mood and cutting remarks from earlier seemed to be able to touch him tonight. Kyou felt a warm bubble of satisfaction in his middle. Tooru had chattered at him all through dinner, silly with excitement over the fish and the prospect of him teaching martial arts. It had been a thoroughly agreeable experience.
"Kyou-kun's hair is getting long!" Kyou looked up to see Tooru lowering herself to sit behind him. She'd wrapped herself in a blanket from the bed and was smiling happily at him. Kyou wondered at the blanket, was she feeling that chilled? The evening was cool, but not that cold. Her color had improved but she still seemed a bit pale.
He'd been staring a bit too long he realized as she looked at him expectantly. "Ah. Un." He ran an experimental hand through his hair and noticed that he had gotten very shaggy. His bangs had persistently gotten in the way of his eyes for a while now. The back had grown long as well, falling over his collar in a rather irritating way. Had they really been there long enough to have it grown so long?
"Are you going to grow it out like Kazuma-san?"
Kyou had an image of himself, just for a minute, with a long ponytail like his Shishou. He couldn't help but laugh at the image. "It wouldn't suit me." He ruffled his bangs again. "I suppose I'll cut it." He peered uncertainly up through his bangs. It wasn't that he was vain or anything, but he'd never cut his own hair before. He wasn't too sure how it would go.
"Would Kyou-kun like me to cut it for him?" Tooru asked innocently.
To his mortification, Kyou felt himself blush. "There wasn't anything wrong with her cutting his hair!" he berated himself. It wasn't any big deal!
"If Kyou-kun doesn't want me too..." Tooru said uncertainly, not sure if she had offended him or not.
"No!" Kyou turned away from her and spoke to the trees outside, "I'd like it if you would."
"I'll get my scissors." Tooru started to rise.
"What? Now?" Kyou whipped around to look at her. Tooru blinked at him and he felt foolish again. "Fine. Let's get it over with. Don't cut too much off."
Yuki watched Tooru settle behind Kyou with a strange feeling growing in his stomach. She draped a towel around the cat's neck and lifted his hair so that it fell above it. The mouse shivered as he watched Tooru's hands almost graze Kyou's skin. The other's body was rigid and he steadfastly stared at the trees outside. The boy's ears were burning and Yuki felt as if his own skin had turned to finely stretched drum skin. Every move Tooru make seemed to resonate inside him.
Tooru took a couple of experimental snips at the hair at his collar. Kyou tried not to shake. He could feel the girl's warmth barely a breath away from his back. Heat seemed to radiate off of her. If he just leaned back a little he'd be resting against her. It took all of his will to keep his back straight. What was it about her that drew him in; that made him want to be next to her? She ran her fingers through his hair and he couldn't stop a shudder running through him. His flesh pimpled and he closed his eyes. He'd never been this physical with another person before. It was just a haircut. He wished he could stay this way forever. A long sigh escaped his body.
Yuki couldn't sit still anymore, but he felt frozen in place. He sat at the table in the back of the shack and watched the sun create shadows out of Kyou and Tooru. He felt as if his throat was constricting. Kyou sat with his legs crossed, his shoulders had slumped and his eyes were closed. Tooru kneeled behind him her head bent studiously to her work as her fingers were busily sorting through his hair. Yuki felt each snip of the scissors. They looked like two puzzle pieces just about to join together. They fit.
Tooru brushed stray hairs off the back of Kyou's neck. She sat back and observed her work. It looked even, and the right length. Kyou was surprisingly still; usually he had too much energy to sit in one position for this long. She sat back and he glanced up at her. There was something unreadable in his eyes and Tooru felt a quick tumble in her stomach. He looked away, but the feeling there lingered between them. Hesitantly she reached out and turned his face back towards her.
His eyes widened and Tooru stammered, "I-I have to do the front."
He swallowed heavily. "Un."
A sudden clatter made them jump apart and Tooru dropped the scissors. They looked to the back of the shack. Yuki stood there looking determinedly at the floorboards. In his haste to rise he'd knocked one of the supports out from the makeshift table and it had fallen lopsided to the floor. He bent quickly to reset the table and pick up the clatter of dishes that had slid to the floor. "I-I'm going to wash the dishes," and escaped the close confines of the shack. He didn't look at either of them once as he walked out.
This wasn't like him. *He* didn't go running off every time he was upset. *He* didn't show any emotion he didn't want to. He'd learned that long ago, hadn't he? Yuki attacked the dishes ferociously. He'd learned long ago how to keep those feelings locked inside. He had to keep those feelings hidden away. He couldn't let her see that side of him. He was the prince. He was-
He froze when Tooru came to sit beside him. She didn't speak at first. She held the pan from supper. Yuki watched out of the corner of his eye as she dipped it into the water and began to wash it. After a moment his hands began moving as well. They worked in silence for a bit, the cold flowing water of the stream puckering their fingers and turning them a matching red.
"Is...Is Yuki-kun not feeling well?" Tooru asked hesitantly, her hands still scrubbing to get the last bits of fried salmon out of the pan.
Yuki's hands paused for a moment then resumed their work. "Ahh...Well...No, I'm just a little tired I think."
Tooru smiled at him gently, "Yuki-kun has been working very hard. Tomorrow you should rest."
"I will." Yuki said shortly. Somehow he couldn't take her smile into his heart like he usually did. He took the bowls and plates and shook them briskly to throw off the excess water.
"Sometimes..." There was something melancholy in Tooru's voice that made him look up, "Sometimes it feels like Yuki-kun is very far away." She gave a little sigh, "When I feel Yuki-kun's concern for me," She blushed a little, "when I see how hard Yuki-kun is working for all of us I wish that I could do something for him. When Yuki-kun goes away, I feel like I can't help him anymore. I know I make too much of difficult feelings sometimes. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I wish I knew where Yuki-kun was when he's so far away. It feels a bit lonely without all of you here." She looked up and caught his gaze. "I'm sorry! I-"
"No, it's alright." Yuki let his hair fall over his eyes, "That Honda-san is here...means a lot." He swallowed thickly. It was like the darkness was just stewing inside him. If he let her keep talking it would all boil out, all the bile, all the dark, sharp painful things. She would never look at him again the way she was looking at him now.
"If it would help...for Yuki-kun to share what he's thinking..." Tooru said hesitantly. Sometimes she got the feeling that Yuki's heart was so tender that just by trying to touch it she would hurt him further. "When Yuki-kun shares his feelings...good or bad...it makes me happy to know we are getting closer..."
Yuki stood. Closer. "Un." He shook an image of Tooru and Kyou sitting close together with just a sliver of light between them. He turned back towards the shack, dripping dishes in his hands. He felt sick for running away, again. But he couldn't let her pull those dark thoughts into her light. He kept his face averted. "I just feel a bit pathetic, making Honda-san worry." He did his best to smile for her. "Honda-san should concentrate on getting healthy and strong."
Tooru leapt to her feet, "Yes! I'll try my best!"
Yuki walked back to clearing and Tooru followed him slowly. She felt useless and weak. Yuki was so obviously suffering and she couldn't seem to do anything for him. The only reason he was here was because of her.
Kyou sat in the tree and watched the two walk back towards the little cabin with narrowed eyes. After Yuki had left the shack the easy atmosphere between he and Tooru had been shattered. As she'd quickly finished up his haircut he could see that her thoughts were on Yuki and his strange departure. Damn rat. Didn't understand how these self-indulgent fits did to her? Every time he was feeling mopey she'd get sick with worry. She shouldn't be burdened with his bad mood when she was ill. He'd pretended not to care when she finally took up the dirty pan from the hearth and followed the mouse to the stream. He acknowledged Tooru's wave as they came back into the clearing but stayed up in the tree. He was too angry right now to face her.
Tooru frowned to herself as she followed Yuki into the cabin. Kyou had barely even glanced at her from up in his tree. Was he upset with her too? "Mother," she thought sorrowfully, "Yuki and Kyou...they are both working so hard, and I'm being such a burden. I don't know how to put them at ease." She thought longingly of the hot spring and that wonderful feeling of connection they'd had up there. When they'd been washing away their dirt, scrapes and hurts away they'd managed, for a short while at least, to wash everything else away too. It had been such a fantastically fresh feeling. She held the memory of it close in her heart. "Mother..." She prayed, "Please help me to keep that safe."
***
It was fully dark outside before Kyou finally crept back inside the little dwelling. The fire was low, and the little lantern was out for the night. Yuki and Tooru had retired to bed long before. Neither had been particularly tired, but when the sun when down there was little else to do. The slight boy had deftly maneuvered around Tooru's clumsy attempts to draw him into a conversation. He'd finally pleaded overtiredness and crawled beneath the blankets. The girl had finally given up and when the light had gotten too bad to continue doing mending by she too had retired. Yuki lay stiffly staring at the wall, he was careful not to move as Tooru lifted the blankets to join him. He was concerned at how quickly she seemed to drift off to sleep. She'd been napping on and off all day. Was she still so weak that she needed so much extra sleep? He fretted about it as he drifted off to sleep.
Kyou slipped between the blankets careful not to wake the others. He hadn't been able to make himself come back into the shack earlier for fear of what he might accidentally say to Tooru or what he might find himself trying to do to Yuki. He'd looked down wordlessly at the pair under the blankets. He ought to feel reassured that they had drifted to sleep facing away from each other. But instead Kyou felt the tension between his shoulder blades increase.
He closed his eyes and tried to meditate like his Shishou had taught him. He really wanted to be outside, somewhere up high. But it was so dark outside he'd been afraid that he'd hurt himself trying to return. Clouds had completely covered the moon and stars and they were so far from any city there was practically no ambient light. Even with his cat eyes the night could be dangerous. One slip and he'd be out of commission. They couldn't afford that.
He opened his eyes and found himself studying Tooru's sleeping face. Even in sleep worries seemed to plague her. Her brow was furrowed and a slight crease to her lips made her almost seem to be frowning. Kuso Nezumi...It was his fault that she was fussing. A strand of her hair had fallen over her face. He carefully brushed it aside and frowned. Tooru just didn't look healthy. He resolved to make sure that she took it easy tomorrow before he finally succumbed to sleep. He'd barely finished the promise to himself when he found himself asleep.
"Of course..." the voice whispered and Kyou felt the hair on the back of his neck rise, "I know that you're perfect..."
He spun around trying to find the voice in the sudden darkness. Where was he? He couldn't see anything. It was like he was lost in a void. He felt a rising panic starting to overwhelm him.
"The other mothers...they just can't see that...they don't know." The voice seemed to come from everywhere at once. Kyou ran not sure if he was trying to find the source of it or trying to escape from it. "So I won't share you with them. That's why I keep you here."
Kyou clutched his head; trying to drive that awful voice away.
"They just don't understand."
"It's not your fault...."
It just wouldn't go away. Kyou fell to his knees.
"...you can't help when you were born..."
He jumped up. Kyou knew what was coming now, "NO! Stop! Just, just shut UP!"
"...It's not your fault that you're cursed so horribly..."
"Shut up! SHUT UP!" Kyou pleaded and started running again. "Shut up! You're dead! Just shut up!"
"I love you anyway."
"*No*," Kyou moaned, feeling his gorge rise in the back of his throat. "You're dead."
"Mommy...Mommy knows the *truth*, you see..."
Phantom hands caressed the sides of his face and his felt his skin ripple in revulsion.
"...if only it wasn't for that other little boy..."
"...if it wasn't for him..."
"...if it wasn't for Yuki..."
Kyou spun and suddenly found himself face to face with his mother. She stepped back as if surprised that he could see her. She held her hands up as if she didn't know what to do with them now that they couldn't be touching him. Her face split into a desperate mad grin and she seemed not to be speaking to him but to the void around him.
"...then they'd all see..." She held her arms out, as if she might come forward any moment to embrace him. "...they'd all see how it really is..." The mere thought made him start to step back from her. "Then they'd all *understand*..." It backfired, as his movement seemed to draw her attention. "It's not your fault." Her roving eyes seemed to focus on him.
There was blood. There were great pools of it gathering around her. Kyou looked at her wrists in horrified fascination. It ran in rivulets down her arms to drip in streams off her elbows.
"It's not your fault." She took a shuffling step towards him.
"It's not your fault." She smiled hugely; her teeth were stained with blood from where she had bitten through her tongue. It didn't stop her from speaking.
"It's not your fault." Her arms widened and blood ran in rivers over her clothes.
"It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. 'S-not-your-fault-'S-not-your-fault-'Snot-your-fault-'S-"
"SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" Kyou shouted backing away from her.
"Not-your-fault-Not-your-fault-Not-" Her voice had become a mad singsong and she spun in place her head thrown back. She raised her arms as in supplication. "Your-fault-Your-fault-Your-fault-Your-Fault-" There was blood everywhere.
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" Kyou shouted, "I'll kill Yuki, then I'll kill myself!" He was again a little boy just like so long ago. He had to make her stop. "I'll kill Yuki, then I'll kill myself! Will that make you happy?!"
She reached for him. "My darling precious boy..." Her fingers were coated with blood.
"No, don't touch me!"
Kyou launched himself awake. He sat up in panic. He was drenched in sweat. He couldn't see anything. It was too dark. Where was he? He heard a flutter and turned towards the doorway. He saw a glimmer of the moon outside and scrambled towards it. He pushed aside the blanket and let the cold mountain night air rush over him. He breathed deep and realized that he was gasping and trembling. He looked around the clearing in the patches of moonlight and remembered where he was. He was up on the mountain, at his place, with Tooru and Yuki. It had been a dream. It was just a dream.
He leaned against the doorframe and slid down bonelessly. It was just a dream. He tried to calm his breathing. It's not as if he hadn't had that dream before. He wished his pulse would stop racing. He rested his forehead on his drawn up knees and ran his hands through his sweat soaked hair.
"Kyou-kun?" The boy looked up in panic.
Tooru stepped back hesitantly. Kyou's eyes glowed white in the moonlight as it blinked in and out of the clouds. She'd never seen him look so scared. She huddled deeper in the blanket she'd wrapped around herself but forced her feet to move closer to him. She kneeled next to him and put her hand on his knee. "Did you have a bad dream?"
Kyou blew out an exasperated breath and closed his eyes. Not trusting what his voice would sound like he just nodded. He looked up when he felt Tooru's hand leave his knee. She walked over to the fire and picked up the jug of boiled water they kept for cooking.
"When I was little," She smiled and said in a loud whisper as she filled the teakettle, "and I would wake up from a bad dream, Mother would make me tea and tell me a story while the tea brewed."
Kyou looked wordlessly back at her. Somehow he didn't think Tooru had ever woken up from a dream like the one he'd had when she was little.
Tooru blinked at Kyou then smiled again. The fire was low and it would take a while for the water to boil. She sat next to him and held up a finger, "Tell me what story you want to hear and I'll tell it. Just one story! That's the rule."
A story? Kyou just stared at her. She was going to tell him a story? It was just too absurd.
"Better hurry!" Tooru wagged her finger at him cheerily. "The kettle will whistle soon, time is running out. What story does Kyou-kun want to hear?"
He couldn't just look in those eyes and not answer. But what story? He blurted out the first one that came to mind, "Tom Thumb."
Tooru cocked her head to the side. "Ok." She settled herself into a classic storyteller's pose. She sat in a kneeling position with the blanket around her shoulders like a cape. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She let out the breath and slowly opened her eyes to regard Kyou. He stared back at her in fascination. "Once upon a time," she started, "there was a married couple." She spoke in slow measured tones, like someone reading from a book they know well. "Though they prayed to God for years, they remained childless..."
Kyou rested his head on his knees again and his eyes went half-shut as he listened. He still felt raw and full of nerves, but Tooru's voice was soothing and just having her near always helped to calm him.
"Every night the husband would say as his wife spun at her wheel and he sat by the fire, 'How dull it is without any children; our house is so quiet, and other people's houses so noisy and merry.'" The teakettle whistled and Tooru jumped up to answer its call while keeping the rhythm of the story. "His wife sighed, 'Yes, if only we could have one. I wouldn't care even if he was little, no bigger than my thumb.' Perhaps God was listening to her for shortly afterwards she gave birth to a child. He was perfect in all ways, but no bigger than a thumb." Tooru walked back over to Kyou and handed him the tea and settled herself back down.
A soft rustling in the bed by the hearth went ignored. Yuki watched the pair through slit eyes. He tried to keep his breathing even and regular so they wouldn't know that he was awake. He'd woken when the teakettle whistled and he saw Tooru and Kyou. Kyou looked ragged and had an edge of panic to him that Yuki couldn't remember seeing on him before. He kept silent, willing to watch and wait to see what was going on.
Tooru sipped her tea and continued her story, "And the parents named him Tom Thumb due to his stature and said, 'He is just what we wished for, and we love him very much.'" She was about to speak again when Kyou set down the tea and turned his head to look out the doorway.
"Liars."
Tooru paused with her teacup halfway up to her lips. "Eh?"
"They would have cared." Kyou kept his face turned away. "They wouldn't have loved him as if he was just like everyone else." His shoulders hunched and he seemed to close in on himself even more.
Tooru felt her stomach drop.
'Mothers who have children cursed by the spirits...They either become unnecessarily overprotective...'
Yuki closed his eyes and that woman's, his mother's, face came to mind, 'What if you are just a tool?' the phantom whispered. He banished the image and watched Tooru lower her teacup to the floor.
'...or they refuse to accept them as their child.' Momiji's sad whisper chased through Tooru's memory. They reject them. She reached out and covered Kyou's hand on his knee.
Kyou stopped breathing for a moment, but didn't turn to look at her.
"I-I'm sure that Tom's parents loved him very much." Tooru felt tears pricking in her eyes and prayed to her mother to be strong. "Every little girl dreams of the day that they will be a mother." She swallowed back the sadness when she thought of growing up without knowing how much her mother loved and cared for her. "Mother said..." She paused, choosing her words carefully, "Mother said that every woman has a dream in her heart of the child she will someday have. Some name them and picture what they will look like. Will they have eyes like theirs? Will they be right-handed or left-handed? When you finally become pregnant, the dream goes further. You start to dream about what they will be like. Athletic, smart, gentle, rough...what will they be like as they grow? It's like living your own childhood again. You become full of dreams of what they could become. A doctor, a star, a musician...so many possibilities." Tooru paused; she'd shifted and was facing Kyou directly. She placed her other hand over Kyou's and rested her forehead against them.
Kyou shivered, resisting the temptation to turn his head so that it was resting against hers. The urge to get closer to her had never been so strong. He didn't have any right to be close to her.
Tooru began speaking again, and Kyou let his thoughts hush. "Then comes the day when the child arrives." She spoke into her hands clasped tightly over Kyou's. She could feel the beads of his bracelet digging into her hands. She knew something horrible had happened to Kyou's mother. He'd never really said...but things he'd let drop, things he talked around, things others had mentioned...it couldn't have been good. "And the child you've been dreaming about all that time...dies." She cried inside at the thought of Kyou being alone as a child. How could anyone not see what a precious person he was? How precious they all were? "That's why...that's why, a lot of times a mother is sad after her child is born. She's grieving for the child she lost." Tooru couldn't help the tears that trickled out of the corner of her eyes. "Mother said..." Tooru sniffled but continued on, "Mother said that sometimes...even after the child is born that some parents can't let go of that dream-child. It lives like a ghost between them and understanding the child-that-is. It blocks them from seeing all the wonderful things about their child."
He heard a rustle and saw that Yuki was awake and leaning against the wall near the bed. How long had he been listening? Yuki met his gaze for a moment then looked to the floorboards. The pain there was unmistakable and Kyou felt a jolt of understanding. Did it matter really how long the mouse had been awake? It wasn't as if he didn't know...what it was like. Yuki...Kisa...Momiji...there was no member of the Juuninshi who didn't understand what it was like.
She lifted her watery eyes to Kyou's. "But, the thing to remember is..." She smiled, "The love, it's still there. The love and dreams they had for the dream-child are the love and dreams they have for the child-that-is. So...so...I'm sure that Tom's parents loved him and dreamed about his future!"
Kyou's tightened his hand into a fist under her hands; it was hard to speak around the lump in his throat. "You say the stupidest things." It sounded rougher and more hurtful then he had meant it to. He groped for something else to say. "What do their dreams matter?"
"Mother said that children make their own future...despite their parents not because of them." Tooru laid her cheek against their joined hands. She peered up at him through a fall of hair. "I...I guess that means their dreams don't really matter..." She straightened and shook her head fiercely. "No. That's not right. Their dreams do matter. When a parent dreams for their child they are putting all of their heart into a hope for their child. It teaches the child how to hope. Don't you have any hope for the future Kyou?"
Kyou finally felt like he was on firmer footing. "Of course! I know that I'll someday beat Yuki! That's my goal." Unnoticed on the bed Yuki clenched his hand into a fist. Was that all the stupid cat thought of? Beating him?
Tooru lifted her head and smiled. "Of course. And then?"
Kyou blinked at the girl, nonplussed. "And then...what?"
"What will Kyou do after he defeats Yuki?"
Unbidden his own voice repeated back at him from the dream. 'I'll kill Yuki, then I'll kill myself!' Kyou scrambled for something to say. Yuki held his breath. Of course, the cat would never beat him...but what did he think would happen when he did?
"I'll finally be accepted. They'll all see..." Kyou's words were cut off as he heard the faint, desperate edge underneath. He sounded just like-
'...then they'd all see...then they'd all *understand*...'
No! He wasn't anything like her! Kyou shook his head to clear his thoughts.
"S-stupid." Kyou stammered. "I thought you where supposed to be telling me a story." But he squeezed her clasped hands with his free one and sat up against the doorframe.
Tooru sat up straight bringing her hands to her face, "Aaah!" the blanket slipped off her shoulder. "Yes! Right! Where was I?"
Kyou made a big show of stretching and yawning. "It's fine. I think I'm ready to go back to bed." He glanced at Tooru and was surprised to find her looking melancholy. "What?"
She shook her head, "It's just...after the story Mother used to surprise me with a treat. Mother said that sweets give sweet dreams. But we don't have anything."
"I've got something."
Tooru watched Yuki get up and walk to the back corner in surprise. She hadn't even realized that he was awake. Kyou shuddered. That damn rat had been listening. How could he have forgotten he was there? He frowned to himself. It wasn't as if he had anything to be ashamed of. It wasn't as if he said anything he hadn't said hundreds of times before. Kyou went white as he realized he had said it hundreds of times. He watched Yuki dig in the pile in the corner and felt like the world had opened up to swallow him whole. What would happen if his life continued as it was? Would he end up saying those words another thousand times? A million?
Yuki found what he had been looking for. He pulled out a towel and walked over. He unwrapped it in the dim light and revealed the prize he had been saving.
"Strawberries!" Tooru clapped her hands happily.
Kyou shot Yuki a look. The gray-haired boy's shoulders rose a little defensively, "I-I was saving them..." Which was true enough, Yuki thought to himself, "...for breakfast." Which perhaps was not so true. Kyou let it pass. He let Tooru select first and then took a large strawberry for himself. Yuki spread out the towel in the center of the loose circle they made in the doorway.
Kyou met his eyes for a moment. Why had he allowed the fight to go on for so long? Kyou always fought to win, to destroy the mouse. Why hadn't Yuki retaliated the same way? The teen tensed as the contact between them lengthened. Kyou might not be happy with the fact, but he knew that Yuki was stronger than him. There had been times in the past when the mouse had been much stronger than him. He'd still been stupid enough to try to attack the prince. Every time the mouse had just knocked him back and left him. If he'd wanted to he could have beaten Kyou so badly that he wouldn't have been able to think about fighting him again. Why hadn't he?
Yuki felt uncomfortable under Kyou's regard but refused to be the first one to drop his gaze. He didn't know what to make of the emotions racing and chasing themselves behind the cat's eyes. He didn't understand the desperateness behind the other's tired declaration of war. Something had spooked the cat; he could see it. What had Tooru been talking about parents for? Yuki had encountered Kyou's mother a few times. It had been obvious to him even back then, when he was so young, that there was something deeply wrong with the woman. His mind flashed back to Akito's cold hand on the back of his neck, and Kyou's mothers' white-knuckled grip on the young boy's arm.
He broke the contact with Kyou and blindly reached for a strawberry. What was the use of thinking about it? They all had demons from their past. It didn't give him any excuse to act the way he did. Saying such stupid things all the time like he did. He bit into it fiercely and looked up.
Tooru smiled happily into space as she sucked on a strawberry, savoring its tart juices. Her mouth was stained with red, making it look like she put on a bright lipstick. She caught his gaze and beamed at him. Kyou reached for another strawberry and she turned to smile at him. The angry lines of his face softened and Yuki wondered what transformation his own face made when he looked at the girl.
"You..." Kyou found himself smiling, "You're a mess."
"Eh?" Tooru paused in the act of popping another strawberry in her mouth.
"Why does Honda-san like strawberries so much?"
Tooru turned to Yuki and tried to talk and swallow at the same time. She choked and both Kyou and Yuki rushed forward to pound her on the back.
When she was capable of speech again, she smiled and said. "Because strawberries are yummy."
Yuki and Kyou looked at each other wordlessly.
"Ah." Yuki said helplessly.
"That's it?" Kyou said.
Tooru blinked at him and looked at the strawberry in her hand. "And the flowers are pretty!" She smiled.
Kyou and Yuki exchanged another sweat-dropped glance. "I suppose I thought there would be more to it." Yuki commented and ate another strawberry.
"Like, 'Mother always said....'" Kyou frowned, "I don't know, something about strawberries." He regarded the strawberry in his hand as if it disappointed him.
Tooru looked up at him in confusion. "Mother always said that strawberries are tasty."
"Well, that's true enough." Yuki said and shook out the towel, now freed of all its cargo.
Tooru tried to hide a yawn and Kyou looked down at her.
"So what now?" he asked.
"Now?" Tooru repeated, sleepily rubbing her eyes.
"When you woke up with a bad dream, your mother would make you tea, tell you a story, then surprise you with a treat...then what?" Kyou found himself thinking that he'd never seen anything as cute as a sleepy Tooru.
Yuki folded up the towel as he waited for Tooru's response. So that is what had started all this. He wondered what Kyou could have been dreaming of that had gotten him so panicked.
Tooru pointed up a finger and closed her eyes in a happy smile. "Then it was off to bed and Mother would hold my hand until I fell asleep."
Kyou stood and offered Tooru a hand up. Tooru accepted it and wasn't surprised when he didn't release her hand when she was up. Turning to Yuki she offered her other hand. He smiled and accepted it gracefully. They walked in a chain over to the bed, and things got a little complicated as they tried to lie down without unlinking their hands. (Easier for the boys who at least had one free hand each.) Once they'd managed it, they started to drift off to sleep feeling heavy limbed and contented.
Exhausted with bellies full of strawberries, they found it hard to think. The warmth beneath the blankets seeped into them. They were all close and Tooru could feel the boys' strawberry scented breath on her neck. She clutched their hands tight for a moment and felt herself drift. Gradually their breathing all slowed to match each other's, and their eyelids began to droop. They were starting to get that wonderful feeling back. That warmth that had begun that night by the fire when they'd found Tooru crying, that had come back at the hot spring, and now again in a strawberry scented haze under the blankets. She fell asleep silently thanking her mother for helping her to know what to do.
Yuki felt her hand slacken in his and brought his other hand up to cover it. He drew it close and ducked it under his chin possessively. He loved this connection, this casual physicality. He didn't ever want to let it go. He glanced across the bed and saw Kyou in a fascinated examination of Tooru's berry stained fingers in his. Her fingers were long and perfect, with nails short from use. He twined his fingers through hers; squeezed and thrilled at how even in her sleep she responded and squeezed back. He cast fleeting look over Tooru's form at Yuki and saw him watching. Languid and lethargic with the heat flowing between them he couldn't find it in him to glare or bristle. Instead he gave a wry smirk as if to say "how did this happen" and felt his eyes drift shut. Yuki sighed heavily, not daring to examine the situation any further lest he destroy it, knowing that neither he nor the cat deserved this, and fell asleep himself.
In her sleep, Tooru laughed and both boys smiled in response.
* * *
The next morning Kyou woke up from a different kind of dream entirely. This dream involved long, silky brown hair and golden exposed skin. Like the dream the night before it also caused him to wake up gasping. He blinked a few times and realized that he had a problem. He closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. It would go away in a minute.
He opened his eyes and found himself staring at Tooru. Neither boy had released her hands as they slept and it had forced her to conform to their sleeping poses. It had evidently caused her to shift a bit, and her nightclothes were in disarray. A blanket no longer covered her. (He guilty realized that he now had two.) She had slid down off of her pillow but her nightshirt had gotten caught beneath her leaving the stretch of her stomach bare. If she had slid just a little farther, he'd be seeing things...well things that he'd already seen once but hadn't really gotten a good look at. He guilty moved his gaze away from what he could almost see, but couldn't take his eyes entirely off of her. He followed the line of her ribs down to her stomach and focused on her belly button. She was an innie. He stared at the little dip and pretended that he didn't notice that her pajama bottoms seemed to have gotten looser since she'd been ill. She must have lost weight. They almost looked like they were going to fall off...
His problem wasn't going away. He sighed and carefully rolled onto his back. He'd just think about something else. Baseball. Math Equations. Yuki-in-a-dress. He grimaced as he realized the last didn't help at all. It was disgusting the way that guy looked so natural in a dress. He closed his eyes and tried to mentally go through his morning workout. That was working. Tooru made a little noise and shifted. Kyou's eyes flew open and he looked at her in panic. Her eyes fluttered open and she smiled at him sleepily and gently unlinked her fingers from his to rub her eyes.
"Good morning Kyou-kun." She yawned.
Kyou flipped on his side away from her. He couldn't help the pained grunt as parts of him protested the movement. "'Morn..ing." he managed.
Tooru started to lever herself up to look at him over the blockade of his shoulder. "Are you alright?" She touched him lightly on the shoulder.
Throwing the blankets aside he hobbled, as quickly as he could, out the door. "I...I...I have a cramp! I'm going to walk it off!"
Yuki sat up and watched Kyou penguin walk out the door. He turned to Tooru wordlessly, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Sweat-dropping she said, "Kyou-kun has a cramp."
Yuki ran the image of Kyou struggling out the door through his mind again and flushed. "Oh...a *cramp*."
Tooru put a considering finger to her chin. "I wonder if it would help if I massaged it."
"Ma...Massaged it?" Yuki felt his eyes go wide.
Tooru looked at him in bewilderment. Perhaps Yuki wasn't completely awake. "His cramp," she explained.
Yuki looked at her wordlessly for a moment, trying to fight the images that presented to him. Losing the battle he realized he would have to make his own escape. "I'm...I'll..." He stammered and got to his feet. "I'm going to check on Kyou."
Tooru watched him flee the cabin and wondered what was going on.
* * *
Yuki rounded the side of the shack and came upon Kyou. He was leaning against the shack, almost looking like he was counting down to play tag. The mouse stopped, surprised to find the cat so close by. He straightened in shock when he heard Yuki's step and his hands went automatically to cover his crotch. His face was scarlet and Yuki could swear that he could practically see steam rising from him.
"WHAT?!" Kyou shouted defensively, his hands not moving.
"Honda-san..." Yuki sputtered. "Honda-san..."
"'Honda-san'...what?" Kyou bit out. He wasn't in the mood for guessing games.
"Honda-san offered to massage your 'cramp.'" Yuki finally managed.
Kyou's eyes widened and his jaw went slack. He stared blank-faced at Yuki for a couple of beats. He looked down at his hands and back up at Yuki. "You're not HELPING!"
Yuki tried to muffle it but he couldn't help it. The laughter forced it's way out. Still red-faced Kyou glared at him, which just made the other laugh harder.
Clutching his side he leaned up against the cabin, "Sorry, sorry." He apologized and wiped at and eye. "Just think what Hanajima or Uotani would do to you if they knew you were sleeping in the same bed with Honda-san in such a state."
The cat blanched and gave a dramatic shudder leaning his back against the shack. "Ugh. That helps. That witch would probably fry me alive, and the Yankee would make sashimi out of me. "
"If you were fried, you couldn't be sashimi. Uotani likes pot-stickers better anyway." Yuki pointed out looking up into the trees behind the cabin.
Kyou grunted, the strangeness of the conversation hitting him. Yuki turned to look at Kyou and felt the slight smile slip off his face. The red-haired boy stared resolutely at his shoes looking unsure and vulnerable.
"I...I won't tell Honda-san what happened." Kyou looked up to see Yuki regarding him seriously.
Kyou was surprised himself when he replied. "I didn't think you would." He might call Yuki a cheater, and underhanded, but he knew he would never take a low blow like that.
Figuratively speaking.
They walked inside and tried not to blush whenever Tooru looked their way. * * *
