It’s my hope that what I write here will end up in the hands of a witch or wizard, so that the world may learn what has happened to me if I do not survive this summer.

My story began the last day at Hogwarts; a feeling of dread came upon me as I packed my possessions. But for some strange reason I couldn't force myself to pack my father's invisible cloak, nor my wand. I decide to hide the cloak and wand on me. When I'm wearing Dudley's hand-me-downs, no one could be able to notice if I was hiding a baby elephant on me.

I knew as soon as I saw my Uncle Vernon that this summer wouldn’t be pleasant. As I walked to the car with him it was like walking to my own execution. I had hoped that the feeling of dread would pass but it proved to be too true.

I knew I was doomed when I walked into my bedroom. My window, through which the Weasleys had once helped me escape, had been bricked in. Every single piece of Dudley's broken toys and his unwanted books had all vanished. All that was left behind was a cheap brass bed, a single bare light bulb with the switch in the hall, a few liters of water, a bucket for a bathroom and the wooden floor.

Uncle Vernon told me that this is where I'd be staying for the summer and that the only time I would be allowed out of the room was to work and to use the bathroom. He would not put up with my "disease" this summer. He then left, shutting a heavy metal door and leaving me in darkness.

I was left in that room for five to six days, I think. The only way I can tell its daylight is that my room gets hotter and hotter. Yesterday they released me to work.

I fear for my life.

Harry Potter

July 11th

Sorry I haven't written recently, been tired. It's early morning right now. Had another nightmare about Voldemort. He was torturing someone, not sure who. The Deatheater failed to get the Eye of Blue? I think that’s what he said but I can't be sure now. My head hurts.

It's late afternoon now and they're taking naps, so I have a little bit of time to rest.

They're been working me constantly, from the crack of dawn till late at night, it's cooking, cleaning, mowing, weeding, painting… work work work. I feel like a slave, but I know a slave would be treated better. They're more valuable to the slave master. They have too much invested in a slave to waste them but the Dursleys they don't care about me. I'm nothing but a freak to them. Someone they wished they had drowned that day they found me on their doorstep.

I wish Voldemort had killed me that day.

Ok, I'm getting myself depressed now. Need to stop that. Going to try to take a nap before I have to fix dinner. Maybe I can steal some more food then.

Dinner was a disaster. Everything was going fine, they complained that the food was either too salty or too dry or too tough as they shoved it down their throat like it was their last meal. Not like I got a taste any of it...

Anyway during dinner Pig, Ron's owl, arrived with a letter. Uncle Vernon didn't get mad or yell but his eyes got cold and hard. Very scary. I handed him the message after I was able to catch Pig, I knew if I didn't I would have been locked in my room for days with no light and no food. I can handle the no food part but the no light part I can't handle. I think that I might be afraid of the dark now.

After he read it, to say he was angry would be putting it mildly. He turned a bright shade of purple; the veins in his necks stood out. I though he was going to have a heart attack but I couldn't be so lucky.

He never let me see the letter but he did tell me what to write back to Ron. He had me write that everything was find and that they were treating me fair, blah blah blah. Basically he had me lie to them. I wish I had been able to slip a real message to him but Vernon read the letter over after I finished it just in cause I tried to write the truth.

After I set Pig off, he hit me. He punched me right in the eye, broke my glasses and then started yelling about all the lies I've been telling everyone over the years. How I should be on my knees, thanking them for taking me in and caring for me.

I never did get any food either.

I hate Hermione. I hate Ron. I hate Dean, Neville and Seamus. I even hate Draco. I really do. And do you know why? It's cause I'm jealous of them all. They have someone that loves them for just being themselves…. even Draco.

They have someone that will kiss their boo-boos, someone to stoke their hair when they're sick and tell them they'll be all right. They have their parents’ bed to crawl into when they get scared during the night. They have someone to hold them and to love them.

Me? I got the Dursleys.

I know the Weasleys try to be parents to me, but it's not the same. They're not my parents or my godfather. They're Ron's parents. My best friend’s family… and I hate them all.

I hate Peter. I hate Voldemort. But most of all I hate Fudge. He’s the one that took Sirius away from me. He took my chance to have a happy loving childhood away. Because of him I’m stuck in this hell.

I’m stuck in this fucking hell and no one cares. No one fucking cares.

July 15th (I think)

Hopefully Uncle Vernon won't find out what I did today. While they were eating their breakfast I was able to steal some of the bacon grease to eat with my wonderful meal of two thin slices of stale bread. It was heavenly. I just wish I could have gotten more.

Later I was able to rescue an old apple core from the bin. It was so sweet.

I’m always hungry now. I watch them at every meal stuffing their faces full of food. If I’m lucky I’ll get some of the leftovers if they feel like being generous that day. It’s not much but it’s something.

Read over what I written so far and I’m sorry, everyone. I don’t really hate you, I’m just so frustrated. So lonely!

Ok, I still hate Peter and Voldemort. And I really do hate Fudge!

July 16th (if yesterday was the 15th)

Today was the worst day of my life. This morning Uncle Vernon had me drag my trunk out into the middle of the backyard.

Once there he had me put all my books into a pile, then he poured petrol over them and lit them. He forced me to watch them burn. Aunt Petunia and Dudley roasted marshmallows over the fire and laughed at me.

When the fires started to die down, he had me add my clothing, my potion supplies, my BroomStick Servicing Kit, and everything that would burn.

Finally we came down to my wand, my broom and my book containing the photos of my parents. Dudley grabbed the wand, broke it into pieces and threw each piece into the fire; screaming at me about the pigtail Hagrid gave him, about losing his playroom, about his tongue and all the other evil things I’ve done to him over the years.

Then Uncle Vernon have me a choice, I had to burn either my broom or the photos of my parents. It wasn't an easy choice –I’m so sorry, Sirius!- but in the end I watched my broom burn. You should have seen how they laughed and smiled when I placed my broom into the fire.

I thought it couldn't get worse but it did. Vernon threw my picture album into the fire. He asked me if I really believed that he would let something so unclean stay in his house. That he was forced to keep my diseased body there, but he wasn't forced to keep my things.

He made me stoke the fire as I watched the album burn. The only photos of my parents, gone up in flames. I swear I could hear them scream.

July 22nd, maybe

Losing track of the days. Vernon likes to keep me constantly either in the dark or in the light whenever I’m locked into my room. It’s hard to tell if an hour, a day or a week has passed when I’m in there.

Aunt Petunia is calling I’ll be back later.

Sorry if this is hard to read, but I’m still shaking. Uncle Vernon tried to burn my hand on the stove today.

I had just set Dudley’s breakfast in front of him and was about to straighten the kitchen when Dudley starts to whine that I burnt his bacon. Uncle Vernon exploded. (Oh, how I wish he really would…)

He stormed over to me and slapped me so hard that he sent me flying into the refrigerator. He starts kicking me, yelling about burning the bacon and damaging the refrigerator.

Then he grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the stove. He turned the burner to the highest setting and tried to make me open my hand so he could put it on the stove.

He was going to burn my hand.

The only thing that stopped him was that Petunia said it would have smelled up the house, and they had company coming later that day.

So he dragged me up the stairs and locked me in my room again. He said no food for me for a week. Won’t tell you what else he said.

So here I am again. Locked in my room with the lights on and nothing to do.

It’s late now. I can hear Dudley talking in his sleep.

By now you’re wondering why don’t I escape; after all, I have my invisible cloak and my wand. Just use magic and run away.

If only it was that simple… So let's start naming reasons why I can’t leave.

If I use my cloak and just walk out, where would I go?

Hogwarts? Dumbledore would send me back. I’m safer here than there. Even after seeing what they’re doing to me, I’m pretty sure he would send me back after adjusting the Dursleys a bit.

The Burrow? I have Voldemort and his Deatheaters after me! Can I really take the chance of endangering the lives of the only family I’ve known? Add in the fact that Dumbledore would still send me back…

Professor Remus? I don’t even know where he lives, let alone if he would take me in.

Sirius? He’s endangered enough because of me! I don’t need to add to it.

Hermione? Not a wizard family. No protection there.

Leaky Cauldron? Money and the fact I would have little protection, and I would be a bigger target. Can’t endanger more lives.

What about magic? If I used magic someone would come and investigate, wouldn’t they? No, they won’t. They didn’t the time Dobby used magic. I was blamed for that! If I used magic, I would be expelled and be stuck here with them forever.

Fudge would never believe me anyway. And thanks to Rita no one else would either. They would probably think that I made it all up, did it to myself or got what I desire.

Some days I wish Voldemort would come and put me out of my misery. Death has to be better than life. And I’m too much of a coward to kill myself.

July 23rd

Ok, Aunt Petunia is scarier and meaner than Vernon is.

I’ll skip the details, too tired to care. Today it was Aunt Petunia’s turn to beat me and she enjoyed it. After she was finished she dragged Vernon off to bed.

Then it was Dudley’s turn to beat me.

July 28th.

It looks like Dudley was just able to sprain my wrist, instead of breaking my neck like he wanted to. The fat little bastard pushed me down the stairs for breathing too loud. Then Aunt Petunia came in and screamed at me for making so much noise.

Also today, I found out why they're being so mean to me. They're blaming me for all their problems. They say I'm using magic to make their life awful.

Work has been bad for Vernon, he fears of being laid off. Plus the fact that he lost over 15,000 pounds has got him to drinking, and I'm his punching bag when he gets drunk.

Dudley has been expelled from Smeltings for fighting and bullying the younger students. He sent a first year to the hospital when the boy won't give him some candy. That’s the official statement, but from the whispers between my aunt and uncle that I've over hear I think Dudley may have done something else. Something so serious that the school is covering it up, but I have no clue what he could have done.

And to top it off Aunt Petunia has been diagnosed with herpes and it's my fault. They're blaming me for her sexually transmitted disease. You don't get a STD from magic, you get it from having sex with someone infected with the disease and since Vernon has tested negative, it can only mean Aunt Petunia was unfaithful to her husband. Of course she denies this and claims that I must be doing it to her, so I get beaten.

My only hope is that someone will notice something strange in the letters I have written to my friends. Vernon reads everything over and sometime dictates what I can say in the letters.

July 31st

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday to me!

How I wish I could die.

Today when I came downstairs to fix breakfast, there were six owls and Uncle Vernon waiting for me. He had remembered it was my birthday and had planned to keep a close eye on me.

When Aunt Petunia and Dudley arrived, I passed every letter to Vernon and waited to see if he'd let me open my gifts. I bet he didn't want to let anyone else open them in case they were dangerous.

I think he wanted me to open my gifts so I could see what they were before he destroyed them.

The book from Hermione went into the garbage, as did the gifts from the twins. Wish I could have used them. Hagrid's rock cakes and garbage disposals don't mix. Got beaten for that one even though I warned them.

Aunt Petunia took a hammer to the Snitch that Ron sent me. And the warm blue glass sphere Sirius send me was smashed by Dudley. Wish I could have held the sphere for a little longer, I felt nice, warm and safe when I held it… but now it's gone too.

Aug 1st.

Hurts to breathe. Think Aunt Petunia has broken a couple of ribs.

Today Uncle Vernon was laid off from his job and the company is closing its doors. He says it's my fault that he was laid off and the business went under.

He also says I take food away from his family. I…

Not sure of the date.

Please let me die. The night of August 1st my uncle came into my room and beat me. As I lay on the floor of my room, he locked the bedroom door. Then he stuffed a sock into my mouth and pulled down my pyjama bottoms.

Oh God he RAPED me! He shoved himself into me. It hurt so bad! It hurt worse than anything Voldemort has ever done to me. When he was done he beat me again and said that I forced him to do that to me. That I forced HIM to rape ME!

I have to escape. Tonight I'll try to escape. Even being in the hands of Voldemort is better than this. I'm going to have to leave everything behind except Hedwig. I can't leave her behind so they can torture her.

If I fail, I'm good as dead. But if I stay, I’m just as dead.

The Last Will And Testament of Harry James Potter.

If you’re hearing this then I’m either dead, close to death or in the hands of Voldemort. In any case I’m dead.

If there is a body left, I don't want any big fanfare or mourning for me. I was born, I lived and I died. I never did anything important in my life but get people killed.

I know they'll say 'What about you defeating Voldemort?' But that was my mom protecting me and she stopped him, I did nothing. And Voldemort is still alive so nothing has changed. I've still done nothing with my life.

Bury me in secret. Someplace that quiet and peaceful. Someplace where they can't find me and make my grave into a holy pilgrimage.

I wish I could give everyone something but seeing that my family destroyed it all… I’ll give to you what I have.

To my best friend Ron Weasley, I leave you my key to my vault in Gringotts.

To my Hermione Granger, also my best friend, I was going to give you my books. After all you want to borrow them anyway, but they’re all gone now. So I leave you Hedwig if she’s still alive. I pray that she is.

To Hagrid, I give you my love and thanks for being the very first person to ever to show me the first sign of human kindness.

To Professor McGonagall, I always wanted to fill your office full of catnip toy mice. Guess I'll never do it now. Thank you for being there for me.

To Professor Snape, I was going to leave you a bottle of shampoo and some clean towels, but now I'll just leave you some advice.

What do you want more in life? To be feared or respected? If you want respect, try not being such an asshole. Your students hate and fear you because you never have a kind word for them. They might do everything perfect, but you'll take points off them anyway and humiliate them for nothing; with the exception of Slytherin, who you treat like God's gift to humanity. Try seeing yourself through our eyes for once.

To Fred and George, we had a deal. Don’t fail me ‘cause I’ll be watching you if I can.

To Ginny, I leave my wishes for a happy future. I wish I could share it with you. Perhaps I'll keep an eye on you from time to time.

To Arthur and Molly Weasley, thank you for being there for me. You're like the parents I never had.

To Dumbledore, don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known what they were going to do. I forgive you, Albus, for the truth you have kept from me. I forgive you for placing me with the Dursleys. You had no way of knowing what was happening. I grant you the right to forgive yourself.

To Remus Lupin, the best DADA professor I ever had. Thank you for everything.

To Sirius Black, my godfather, my friend, my confidant, my father in all but blood, I leave to you my father's invisibility cloak.

Sirius, if you ever get the chance to read this… I'm sorry, Sirius. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you. You have been the only person in my life to truly care about me as Harry Potter, not as the Boy Who Lived. In my darkest hours, I knew that you cared about me like I was your own son. You made me laugh when the world tried to beat me down. You gave me love when the world turned its face to me. Thank you.

I only ask one thing from you Sirius, and that’s for you to live. Fight for your innocence. Fight for your freedom. Fight to live for me because if you don't than nothing in my life never mattered. Everything I have gone through never mattered.