Chapter 16

Frank spotted Hope nodding off as he walked across her desk to his office door. Standing in front of her, he coughed loudly, waking her up. He chuckled to see her sleepy eyes suddenly opening wide, pretending to be wide alert the whole time.

"Not sleeping...just taking that power nap everyone was talking about. Beneficial to me, beneficial to you." She rattled on while rapidly sorting out some papers that Frank, with a quick glance, saw that they belonged to a stack that he told her to shred in the morning.

"Don't need to play charade around me. If you're really tired, take the day off." He smiled at her as warmly as he could. Hope had only been his PA for a few weeks but he was so used to her already, she was systematic, thorough and extremely concerned that he did not miss any of the important meetings, fulfilling her usual duties and even made sure he had taken his meals. She even noted down the birthdays of his loved ones and when he asked her, she mentioned about him too busy and might forget them and if she was going to be his PA, she would go the extra mile.

And she makes great coffee too.

Hope looked up at him and he expected her to say something in respond. It was not until a few seconds had passed that he realized she was actually waiting.

"What?" He shrugged; not knowing what was she waiting for.

"Where's the next line?" She queried her green eyes wide with faked innocence.

"Huh?" His brown eyes widened to match hers, in genuine guile.

"The one about...oh yah and though you can take the day off, do that and you can take all the days off."

Ah...the suspicious character comes back again. I thought I had been a pretty friendly and compassionate boss.

"You got me there." Frank lifted up his hands in surrender. "I'm a mean horrible boss, threatening you all the time."

Hope smiled without much mirth and Frank noticed for the first time that day that his usual bouncy, hyper-chatty PA was rather quiet, only greeting him earlier in the morning without taking any chance regaling him about the outing she went to last night with other employees in other floors and without nagging at him for drinking a glass of martini early in the morning to "soothe" his nerves as he liked to call it. All he saw was a slight frown before she walked out of his office, after handing him some reports that came in from the various departments.

And her shoes did not match her outfit, a huge no-no for girls. Something must be on her mind.

"Are you alright Hope?" He asked, brown, liquid eyes softened in concern.

Hope meddled around with the stationary on her desk before muttering something that sounded like a yes.

She really wears her emotions on her sleeves.

"Come, join me for tea. I'm ready to burn down this place if I don't get a break."

"I haven't finished sorting out your appointments for the rest of this month."

Frank gave a light laugh. "And it'll be better if you never sort them out! No one will be there to remind me I've got appointments to keep. Let's just go shall we? Nancy's not free to be with me this afternoon, as my PA, you have the duty of not letting me eat alone."

Hope managed a smile again but with more happiness this time. "Ok...I'll do my job and accompany you for tea."

"Great!" He smiled with a twinkle in his eyes. He did not know why he was always happy when she was around; probably it was because she would talk to him as an equal, not like his other staff. With her around, he did not feel like he was this billionaire with this huge empire under him. Though she could get "mumsy" with him at times, her energy would inspire him to keep going on and on and on.

Like a Duracell Bunny she is.

Hope fiddled with half-eaten cake. Frank had bought her to the café inside the posh International Hotel overlooking the town square of Barnett Bay. She had been glad for a break from work, somehow, the long journey to work, the crazy display by Joe last night and her insomnia caused her to feel especially drained and weary. But then once thinking of Joe, she realized she missed him terribly but would be unsure of what to say.

He should call me. Maybe I should go to his apartment...no...it should be him who should make the first move.

The last encounter they had rang warning bells in her head though. She had thought Joe was only reserved, unable to share his problems with people but she had only experience his anger yesterday and she knew about his weakness to alcohol, she had seen before how he would just buy plenty of 6 packs and assorted little bottles of liquor when he did his grocery but she had been around to stop him and he had been pretty sober all the time while she was dating him, getting the occasional high only when they visited pubs or had glasses of red wine in his little flat. But she also knew she could not be there all the time. This job she had now was demanding more from her as days go by and there would be times when she was required to attend functions with Frank as Nancy was always busy. She would not be around to monitor Joe all the time.

Would he make good dad? What if he goes bonkers when Caramel's around and I'm not?

Hope shook her head to clear her mind.

Now, she found herself sitting next to a suave, handsome man. Yes, man. Frank was so different from Joe and even though she knew he had a girlfriend, she could not help feeling slightly excited whenever he praised her or just look at her with that admiring, slightly flirtatious look of his. At least that was what she noticed. And she noticed that he had been very concern in her affairs, not allowing her to overwork, bringing her out for lunch on a few occasions. Yet, this, this seemed like a date. Frank had been a perfect gentleman, one that seemed to be trying to impress his date.

"You hate tiramisu."

Frank gestured to her playing with her food. She blushed. She had not known that she was lost in her own thoughts.

"No...just...just there's..." She let out a breath. Between Caramel and Joe, she had no time for friends and no one to confide into. But she was not ready to talk to Frank. Frank, attractive and sensitive, was after all, her boss.

"Never mind."

Frank did not pursue. He noticed her pendent, the small little heart thing.

"That's sweet. Given by your boyfriend?"

"Huh? Oh..yes..."

"So, what's he like?"

Hope stopped fiddling with her cake. Yes, she did miss Joe.

"He's...he's called Joe. A year younger than me. Very sweet guy."

"Ahh, that's nice to hear. Someone like you deserved a sweet guy." Frank seemed a little disappointed. Actually, Hope was not sure if she caught the disappointment or she had just imagined it. But either case, she found herself strangely happy at the prospect that he would be disappointed with her being taken already.

"Nancy's sweet too, but she hardly comes by to the office, does she?"

Frank was silent for a while. The words seemed reluctant. Maybe that was what's bothering him, just like what's bothering her.

And I thought it only happened to teenagers. Love Problems. Love must suck so much.

"I....I don't know." He then looked at her intently. "Have you come across the situation where you just...you just don't know what to say to each other anymore? But you feel you got to stay on...to make it work?"

Hope tucked her hair behind her ears. "Yes, but more like the other way round? I feel like he has nothing to say to me."

Frank placed a hand over hers. With the other, he gestured for the waiter to refill their coffee.

"I knew something was up. It's ok, you can tell me. I promise I will not tell anyone or...or I'll end like that tiramisu cake on your plate." His dark eyes twinkled. He did seemed very, very warm. Hope chuckled when she saw how smashed up the poor cake was. And Hope needed to talk to someone.

"Joe, my...my boyfriend. He's...he's freaking me out. I don't know, he would just be withdrawn, won't talk to me, or he would seem like he's in another world of his own at times and I can't reach him. Sometimes he would say things and then stopped...it's frustrating...you know...the times when I thought, yes! My boyfriend will finally tell me something, anything about himself...and then he just clams up or changed the topic. I tell him everything. It's not fair."

Frank squeezed her hands, he did not say anything and neither did Hope expect him to, she did not know what he could say.

"I...I don't know. I have a kid, I have responsibilities and I feel like...I'm just...babying him. I...I can't fool around. I take it so seriously. I'm just...I'm just too old for all these. Should just cut my losses and run now. Remain single forever."

"You don't mean that, I don't know if I understand all these but, but I do know, when you love someone, you love him for everything, the good, and the bad. Besides, someone like you shouldn't remain single."

"Why? Coz I need someone to take care of me?"

Frank leaned forward, a napkin in his hands. Gently, he reached out to dab the tears that had managed to streak down her well-made face.

"Nope. Not that, yes, maybe that, but...also because, if you choose to remain single, many many men out there will be so very disappointed."

Hope blushed. It was good to let it out. Frank was right. If she loved Joe, she should accept him for everything he was.

Even those crazy moments? Can I handle those crazy moments?

And the compliment from Frank was very sweet too.

The rest of tea was enjoyable. Hope chat with Frank and somehow, she realized that he was so easy to talk to. She had found herself talking about her dreams to actually go into college but got pregnant out of wedlock and had to give it up. She told him about Caramel and her little quirks, the naughty things she did.

Frank had been funny, he laughed heartily and for a while, Hope forgotten about Joe. She could not believe she was having so much fun, during work hours, with her boss, with one of the most desirable man in the world. But she was happy and that...

That's all that matters isn't it? Why do I have this nagging feeling that I should have met him earlier?

Frank sent her back to the office to her car. Since it was already past work time when they got back, they both did not go back into the office.

"You know Hope, you can always talk to me about...about things. We all need a friend sometimes. In the office, I'm boss. But outside, I'm a friend."

"Thank you".

Frank stretched out his hands and Hope returned the hug. He was so warm, muscular and...

He hugs me closer than Joe hugs me.

"Everything's going to be just fine. Trust me on that."

When Hope reached home, she thought she would go into Joe's apartment, just to take a look and give him a chance to apologize. She unlocked the door after no one answered her knocks. Joe had given her a pair of keys but she would always knock first.

And she was shock to see a huge mess. Empty beer bottles and cheap hard liquor bottles were strewn all over the floor.

He was sitting motionless on the piano stool. His eyes vacant.

"What happened here?"

He turned towards her, she hardly recognized him anymore.

"I told you not to work there Hope. But you would not listen." His voice was soft, flat.

"Joey! I...it's my livelihood!" Hope was getting exasperated. She was not expecting this. "So...so you think you're going to punish me like that aren't you? By drinking yourself silly. I bet you have not even gone to work! You know what? I'm sick of this! I'm sick of having to deal with you! One moment you can be the sweetest guy and the next you're like a monster! Why? Why must it be this way?!"

Hope slammed the door shut. She really wanted to make up, but she could not deal with it. Could not.

She ran back to her house. Unable to control herself, she let herself cry a good cry. Maybe it was over. But it was stupid, they had so much going. Why had he just suddenly changed? What was wrong with her job? Why would he be acting crazy?

She did not know. Did not have the answers. It probably did not matter anyway.

The phone rang in Joe's apartment, awakening him from his stupor. He had been dreading the phone call. Already Kleptous had contacted him another time after their encounter and gave him some tools to help him accomplish the job.

"It's easy. Just grab the test tube."

"That's all? Why don't you do it?"

"If I get caught, it's a huge loss to the Assassins. If you get caught, I'll just drive by and shoot you. You are dispensable...and you do have skills for this kind of things."

But he knew he had to do this. Hope and Caramel lives were at stake. Picking up the phone, he mumbled

"Yah...what's up?"

"The job, remember Joe. Tomorrow night we strike. I'll come and fetch you at 12 midnight, exactly. Have you seen your new toys? Know what you got to do?"

"Ya...bye." Joe put down the phone. He stared at the mess he had made for himself. The sight simply made his head ache more.

She was here! She had seen...

No...oh...no...

Gotta get dress, gotta clean up. Gotta say sorry to her.

Joe tried to clear up as much as he could. He had been fired three days ago for failing to turn up at the delivery shop, so he had the whole day to himself. He would make it up to Hope because after tomorrow night, he really did not know what would happen, whether he would see the another sun rise..

But why would she want to work there? As Frank's PA? I wonder if Frank knew. Damn, why the hell, why there? Why him? What is Kletptous planning? If he intends to hurt her or...him...

Joe's heart knotted when he thought about Frank. There was not a night when he was alone that he would not think about his big brother. But what could he do? Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. Frank would be able to take care of himself...Joe would somehow get Hope out of there, just in case anything happened and maybe drop a note to warn Frank.

Got to get her fired again. If Frank knew she's mine...he might not want to hire her.

The next morning, huge screams shouting un-recordable words could be heard in the neighborhood. Hope kicked her car, picked up piece of wood and started bashing the sides.

"Stupid car! Why don't you ever work! Arghh!!!!!!!"

"Mommy...you said we cannot use bad words even when we're angry..." Little Caramel tugged her mother's skirt, her huge eyes widened in fear.

"At PEOPLE Caramel! At People! Does this look like SOMEONE to YOU?!" Hope screamed at her daughter. There was much anger and immediate regret.

Caramel's stood still for a while. Then her cute little face bunched up and she started bawling. "I just thought the car mig..might get hurt! I just thought the car might get hurt!! I don't want mommy anymore, don't want..." Caramel ran back into the house, crying all the way.

"Caramel! Mommy's sorry...you shouldn't hear those words...you're right Caramel, Caramel?" Hope dashed after her daughter. "Stupid, stupid me." She scolded herself under her breathe.

Caramel sat on the sofa, still crying. Hope gently sat beside her daughter who was crying into her two small palms.

"Love, oh..sweetheart, Mommy's so sorry, so very sorry..." She put her arms around her daughter, kissing the soft, sweet smelling hair repeatedly.

"Did I make you angry mommy?" her voice was still hurt, but at the same time, worried.

Hope hugged her tighter. "Of course not, no...you're mommy's first love! My sweetheart. Mommy loves you, I won't be angry at you, I'm so sorry...dearie...forgive mommy?"

Caramel thought for a while. Then she returned her mom's hug. "Ok mommy. I love you too mommy."

Tears welled in Hope's eyes. Suddenly, it was clear; she would do whatever her heart told her to. And whatever was best for Caramel. The knots in her heart came unloose. If she was selfish, so be it. But Caramel had to come first.

Had to.

Hope dialed Frank's mobile. After getting fired for being late before, she was not taking any chance with her new job, no matter how friendly he was.

"Frank, it's me, Hope. I'm sorry, I will be rather late today. My car broke down and I still have to send Hope to pre-school...I'll try my best...I'm so sorry..."

"Where are you? At home still?"

"Yes. So you see, I still got a long..."

"Stay put. I'll come fetch you."

Hope was taken aback for a moment. "Oh...oh. Do you need directions?"

"I think I know my way. Just give me half an hour."

Chapter 17

"Ah, just turn right at the next corner, Caramel's school should be nearing soon."

"Why don't you send her someplace nearer?"

Hope, who sat in the back with her daughter, shook her head. "My neighborhood's poor but the surroundings are rich. The pre-schools there charge exorbitant rates. When I get my first cheque, I may, but now, I still got debts to pay off."

Frank glanced in the rearview mirror and smiled at her. "Ok. I understand. Blame it on the rich who spoiled the market."

Hope laughed. "Yes, I always blame it on the rich. You people are a source of temptation for everyone."

"Am I one to you?" came the flirty reply.

"Mommy! Who's him? He looks funny. His car looks funny. Mommy, why didn't you call Joe to come fetch us?"

"Hush Caramel! He's mom's boss and good friend. Besides, Joe doesn't have a car."

"I don't care! Joe can fix cars! He did for us the other time. I don't like this one's car! It's funny! I hate red color. I like our ca..mmmmm."

Hope had muffled her daughter, smiling sheepishly at Frank. Frank simply laughed heartily, amused by the little girl's candid criticism.

"I'm sorry about Caramel, I have trained her to be too outspoken."

"Are you always so apologetic?"

"I..." Hope thought for a while. No, she was not always so apologetic and she did realize she kept apologizing to Frank.

But before she could reply, the school came into view.

"There! Stop near the front. I'll walk Caramel in. Thanks. You'll wait here?"

Frank nodded, smiling, still amused with Caramel who had purposely ignored him by flicking her hair in his direction and walking away. Hope could have died of embarrassment.

She was awfully glad that Frank was so gentlemanly and good-natured.

After bringing Caramel in, Hope went back to the car, only this time, she sat in front. Suddenly, Frank moved close to her. She gasped.

"Relax, there's a leaf in your hair." Frank chuckled at her tenseness.

"Oh, well...thanks." Hope flipped through her hair.

"There it is...couldn't let my PA be seen with a leaf in her hair, can I?" Frank had very swiftly picked up the leaf for her. Hope was a little nervous at his closeness and yet, excited, like a schoolgirl.

"So, once again, why do you keep saying sorry for every little, even non-offensive thing?" Frank asked as they drove off.

"It's polite to say sorry when you're late, when your daughter badmouthed him. I don't know. I'm sorry. I....I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

He chuckled. "Yes, but you do say too much "sorries" for something trivial."

"Trivial? I would not think bad manners in your kid is a trivial thing."

He made a turn. He drove fast too, relaxed and confident. At times, he weaved in and out of traffic also, but only because it was necessary.

"Is she very attached to your boyfriend?"

"I don't know...never mind."

"Something happened?"

Hope shook her head; she did not want to talk about it, not now.

"No, I mean yes, but, now's not a good time to talk about it. Maybe, maybe it'll pass. And yes, Caramel's pretty attached to Joe. She treats him like a big brother though, instead of a prospective step-father. Can't blame her though, he looked too much like a boy still, though he's already a young man. Strange, you drive a little like him, only he's more...more impetus behind the wheel. Very unlike his nature."

Frank raised an eyebrow. A cloud seemed to fall over his face. Then very softly he replied.

"I learned from the best."

They drove in silence for awhile. Hope had no idea what caused Frank's good humor to just disappear. She wondered if she had said something wrong when Frank put a hand on her lap.

"So I guess there's not much chance of Caramel being friendly with me?"

"Frank!"

"What about her mom then?"

"Frank!" She screeched again, exasperated.

"Just kidding!"

Hope should be offended, should set off warning bells. But she too could not deny her attraction to him. She just gave a very coy smile.

Selfish. For Caramel or myself?

The car jerked suddenly as Frank slammed his brakes in time to avoid beating the red light. Hope lurched forward only to be pulled back by her seat belt. Frank turned to her and apologized profusely.

"I'm so sorry...forgotten the yellow lights are a little fast here."

Her hands had lost grip of her bag and it toppled over, spilling its contents on the floor and some over to Frank's side. Frank picked up her wallet which had dropped nearer to him and was about to return her when he stared at the photo she had put in the clear folder compartment of her wallet for a prolonged period. The lights had changed to green and he was still staring at the photo which was the one she had taken of Joe serenely overlooking the docks. The cars behind them were honking madly.

"Hmm...Frank... you should start moving off now."

"Huh? Oh...yes..." He passed her the wallet and stepped on the accelerator, speeding off. Hope laid a hand on his shoulder to motion for him to slow down a little. They were after all on a pretty pedestrian heavy road.

"Who's the guy in the photo?"

"Joe, my boyfriend." She answered, thinking it was pretty obvious.

"Who guessed? My life's just like the movies." His face darkened as he continued speeding and weaving in and out of traffic and the remainder of their journey was in an awkward silence.

Joe had seen the Porsche drove away. He was behind them, hiding behind a tree because he saw the car. He saw who it was in the car, sending a wave of mix emotions through himself. Joy at seeing someone he had missed and thought of for so long. Pain at seeing his girlfriend in the same car as him, knowing that they were probably closer than just boss and PA.

Frank. Had he seen me? Why would he be with Hope? They are only employer and employee, right?

I'm just imagining the worse. It can't be. She loves me. I love her. Maybe...maybe I'll...

Maybe it's good that they are closer...she probably deserves someone better...

Are you really that generous Joe? To give her up?

Joe thought for a while and then shook his head, while resuming the conversation he had with himself in his mind.

No...I'm not. And I worry about her and him. So...I got to get her fired today...before Kleptous strikes. It won't be as simple as stealing...they are nefarious creatures.

He was an oddity in the business district of Barnett Bay. It was a pretty long journey with public buses but once there, he did not need much direction. Maximillian Enterprise was a landmark. Huge, imposing and extremely extravagant. And he knew where it was at the back of his hands. It had always been Grandpa's empire, not theirs. He knew somehow, with Laura's death, his uncle Bob had stepped aside to let Frank control the firm.

He staked out in the car park block next to the main building. It did not take him long to seek out the slot for the President of Maximillian. The Porsche was parked in its place.

What if Hope comes out with him? Damn, she better not be. God, if there's a God, please, don't let Hope come out with Frank.

He had not prayed for very long, not since he was in prison and prayers did not seemed to change the inmates into saints and stop hurting him. But still, a part of him want to believe in God, the God he learned about in Sunday Class, who love unconditionally. Even gave up His Son for men who were deeply entrenched in sins.

But a large part of that had died. But still, there was still a spark, a foundation block of that belief that would not go away.

And so he prayed. For better or for worse, he did not care. As long as he got to talk to Frank. There was so much to say.

And Joe waited until lunch time when he saw Frank sauntering over to his Porsche. Quickly, he ran right across the car park from behind the pillar. Frank had seen him, but stepped into his car, nonetheless. But Joe was quick enough, and before Frank could start the car, Joe tapped on his window.

Frank rolled down the window. His expression was cold and very much uninviting. Joe, already very unconfident of himself and it had taken such huge courage to approach Frank, felt extremely small.

I can't go through with it.

Yes you can you idiot! You came here all the way. What are going to do now? Just wave goodbye, smile and go home?

"Yes?" The voice was even colder than the expression.

"I...I need to talk to you."

Frank glanced at his watch and thought for a while. "I'm very busy. You have 20 minutes. International Hotel, just down the street. I'll be in the café."

The window came down as he drove away. 20 minutes. Joe looked at his own watch. Knowing Frank, 20 minutes started then.

He ran like hell. International Hotel was 4 blocks down. Not too far, neither near. But damn was he going to make it.

Chapter 18

Frank was already there when Joe arrived, panting. He had sprinted all the way like a mad man. The waitress at the ultra posh café walked towards him with a menu. He stood outside, scanning the room for Frank, having spotted him; he shook his head to the waitress and pointed towards Frank. The waitress simply nodded and walked away.

The café was a place that Joe would not be caught dead before because he used to call these places exploitative and he would not want to step into one now because it was far beyond his stature. Expensive replicas of famous paintings lined the wall. The tables and chairs were carefully crafted. It overlooked the harbor and being on the top floor of the hotel, had an excellent view. The music it played was jazz, upping the sophistication by another notch.

Frank had a cup of coffee in front of him and nothing else. He was reading a business paper, obviously bored. But he did not even look up when Joe sat down opposite him. All the carefully prepared speeches were thrown out of the window. Joe was expecting anger, maybe some indifference but not so much coldness. Joe could still feel the bond between them. In his eyes, though Frank was now in a suit, definitely expensive, he still saw Frank as the Frank he knew and loved, the Frank who would be extremely forgiving and protective of his little brother.

Why don't you see him as Frank of that night? Or maybe look at yourself. Your hands are full of blood...

No, it would not come to that. The thought could come later. With excruciating mental effort, Joe silenced the voices.

"Hello." He began. He did not how to start the conversation. Frank was not making it any easier either by being so disinterested. His stomach churned, it was probably a bad idea.

"I...Your PA, Hope."

Frank looked up from the paper finally, expressionless still. "What about her?"

"She's my girlfriend."

Frank raised an eyebrow, giving Joe a "So?" look.

"She...she doesn't know we are bro..."

"No, she doesn't, coz we're not."

Joe sucked in a breath. The way Frank said it, so casually, so cruelly matter-of-factly. Joe felt his defenses all tearing down.

"She doesn't know I was in jail...before...please, don't tell her."

Frank read the paper again. "Is that all?"

"Please do it as a favor to me, please don't tell her...anything. And...since you know she's my girlfriend...maybe it's not a good idea for her to be working with you."

"The way you're whining now, I am so very tempted to just rescue her away from you."

It was a blow that struck Joe in the heart and soul. No, this could not be Frank talking, could not be. Frank was not like that.

But neither are you like this before. People change.

"Rape, murder." Frank shook his head. "What if I don't tell her and something happen to her? I won't be able to live with myself"

"I won't hurt her." The voice grew softer; the head bowed down.

"Anything else? Your time's up." Frank folded his paper and gestured for the waiter. Though Joe was extremely defeated by all that had happened, he was not going to let it pass. No. He needed to know the answer, today. The answer that was plaguing him for years.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

Frank pushed his paper aside. He pierced right through Joe with steely eyes, anger, burning like hot amber. Joe felt it all, everything.

"I have places to show you. You should come with me." Frank stood up, left some notes on the table. He was in no time to sign for the bill. Joe stood up and hurried after Frank whose confident strides had left Joe far behind.

The car ride was tensed. Neither party spoke. The coldness in one and the fear in the other were apparent for all who would see. Joe had no idea where Frank was taking him; just that Frank kept driving, honking irritably at other drivers and beating red lights. He was driving so fast that Joe silently prayed that if anything happened, Frank would be alright.

They finally stop at a hospital. It was one that looked very expensive, in a quiet suburb. The car was parked near the sidewalk. Frank finally spoke.

"Look at it. Remember it."

Then he drove off. Joe's mind was in a whirl, he did not know what Frank was up to but it was not anything good. Frank then drove until they reached a cliff top. It was a picturesque place, yet instead of beautiful houses, luxurious hospices were erected there. Frank drove a little further in. There was a calm, serene looking white-washed building, one that betrayed the chaos that went on in the minds of those residing in it. It was a mental institution.

"Remember this place too."

The next place they arrived at was a mansion far away from the hustle and bustle of the city. Joe recognized the mansion. The building itself was not exactly huge, but the estate was. It was set like in the colonial times, elegant and yet welcoming. There was a dolphin fountain in front and the garden was immaculate. Joe, without exploring the place, knew that there was an Olympic sized swimming pool behind it, a gazebo, a spa, two tennis courts and two separated guests' houses.

It was the Maximillian Garland's manor or rather, the manor his grandpa left behind.

"And this place. But I guess it should already be in your memory."

"Why? What are you trying to do?" Joe spoke in a small voice, unable to fathom Frank's mind, though he could guess.

"You'll see."

A little further away, they reached a small plot of land. Joe could not bear to step in for he knew what was inside. His grandpa was buried there. It was a very peaceful place, bordered by a variety of trees. Pretty flowers scattered all over. A church was not too far away.

It was where his mother rested.

We don't want you here you got it?

Dad...Frank...I just ...I just want to say goodbye to mom...

Oh, I'm sure she heard it when you pushed her down from the second storey.

"Get out." Frank ordered. When Joe failed to do so, Frank reached over, unbuckled his seat belt and opened the side of his car door. He pushed Joe out and Joe fell to the floor. Exiting from the car, he then grabbed Joe by the hands and pushed him into the burial grounds and until they reached a grave, the tombstone marked with a cross on top.

The inscription was short.

Laura Ashley Hardy-Garland. Born 2-1-50. Died 28-5-95

A dear wife and a loving mom,

Alas the Lord called you too soon.

Frank forced Joe to his knees. For the first time, Joe knelt in front of his mom's grave. For the first time, he could touch the stone. For the first time, he could say goodbye.

But Frank's anger knew no limits.

"See! See what you have done! Those places Joe. Those places! We went through hell in those places! Mom's death, Ben's hospitalized. Do you know it took him 2 months before he could come out? He could never walk again and he did try! Did you see his face? The anguish? Can you return him his legs? His freedom?"

"And Marjory? Now what had she done to you that you must hurt her like that? She could not even function. We had no choice but to put her in a mental institution. She was so young, so full of life. She had suitors; friends but she shut them all out! We couldn't reach her Joe, we couldn't. We tried so hard and she would only scream at us to go, chase us away. She won't talk to anyone. She was only better last year. Last year. Better, but not cured. Her depression ruined her life! YOU RUIN HER LIFE! She had never walked with her head held high ever since. Never!"

Joe breathing became rapid, his head spinning and his stomach churned. He did not want things to come to this. He did not how, or why. And now, guilt increased a hundredth fold, accompanied by a desperation, anguish and disgust at himself that would never go away for the rest of his life.

"Our house, beautiful as it was, do you know how broken it was inside? I did not want to move but I could not take it. Aunt Gertrude would look at our family photo everyday and sigh, wondering why and she would cry. She's the most innocent of us Joe. She's so old. I want to comfort her but I couldn't. I couldn't...And dad, he would be worried sick about Marjory one day and totally indifferent to all us the next. He would immerse himself in work, put himself in the most dangerous situations and not care. Not care. And every night, I would pass his room and I can hear him cry. He missed mom so much. So much, but he cannot tell us."

Then Frank knelt down next to Joe, he was tearing. The tears were of anger at having so many things taken away, the sadness of loss, loss that he had not let himself experience for a very long time. The tears were also frustration, frustration at not knowing why.

"And here. Here lies mom Joe. I only have one question to ask. What went through your mind when you did what you did?"

Joe could not speak. He could only hug the tombstone and even that, Frank would not allow him to. Frank brutally tore Joe away and forced him to look into his eyes. He gripped Joe's shoulders so hard that Joe was to find bruises there later.

"Why did you do it? Why must it be you?" Frank's eyes, though angry, were unmistakably disillusioned. Joe could only silently plea that Frank would let him go. He just wanted to die right then.

"I'm sorry. I ....I tried to remember...I cannot...and I...don't know..."

A slap. A deafening one. Joe fell sideways. His lips had split. The slap burned into his cheek, burned into his soul.

"How easy it is for you to forget. How unlucky for us not to be able to. The torment, Joe. There is not a day when I don't think of her, when I don't feel this...this weight on my heart."

And in a softer voice but one filled with anguish and sorrow too difficult to hear, breaking Joe's heart into a million pieces.

"And when I don't wish it was not you."

Joe covered his face, his breathing heavy. He was crying the tears that would not come. Once again, he would not know release. Neither would forgiveness. And he deserved it. He deserved it. There was not a day when he did not think of her too, when he did not think of Frank and wishing Frank would somehow, forgive him. That everyone in his family would forgive him. Wishing he could remember his intentions, his actions. For if he did not do it, Frank would not have hated him so. He must have done it for to have love turned to hate was a very difficult thing to do. Especially the love and the bond between the two brothers.

I love you big brother. As much as before, more than before. I'm sorry it had come to this. I'm sorry and I know no matter how many sorries I say or what I do, it won't be enough. It won't be.

"How easy for you to forget it all. I wish...I wish you can teach me how." Frank spat at Joe and gave him a look of disgust before walking out, leaving Joe behind to deal with his demons all alone.

I did these. I did these! I made them suffer!

But how? Why? Why? Why can't I remember?

So convenient for me to forget. So easy it had been for me. But they, they have to suffer forever.

Frank's right to be angry. To not forgive me even.

Frank, I'm so sorry. So very sorry.

I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have.

And still, the tears would not fall.

Chapter 19

The night air was stuffy, making it difficult to breathe freely. Joe felt smothered by the heat; the global warming effect had not spared breezy Little Port.

The afternoon's event had left him emptier than ever, any slim hope at reconciling with his brother was dashed but he told himself he would wait, he would wait until his hair turned grey, his teeth drop out but he would wait as long as was needed to just hear the words.

And he tried calling Hope, but his call to her mobile kept getting rejected. After he ran out of excuses for her, the reality that maybe she did not want to see him dawn heavily on him.

I'll screw up the job. Kleptous will kill me and it will all be over. No one will be at the funeral; there probably will not be any. I'll just die somewhere and be forgotten.

But I never got Frank to forgive me. And Hope, I have never told her how much she really meant to me. No, can't screw up. Hope, he might kill Hope and Caramel.

The threat of Hope's and Caramel's life in danger stressed him up even more, he found it difficult to breathe now, difficult even to continue walking down the stairs to meet up with the fiend. Leaning against the railings, he paused to catch for breathe, only to feel even sicker in the stomach.

This is not good. Nothing is good.

And then he forced himself down the stairs, wishing very hard that Kleptous had somehow forgotten, or got himself caught or maybe blew himself up while blowing other things. No such luck for Joe. A white, boxy car was parked below but the lightning was too weak for Joe to see the make and model. Kleptous had his window rolled down and he was smoking, blowing circles in the air, looking extremely bored.

He looked as though it's like we're going to market for groceries.

And Joe felt even more nauseated.

"We ain't got much time. Hurry up." Kleptous droned.

Joe clutched his haversack tight when he opened the car door and sat in the back. The haversack contained all the tools that Kleptous gave him, including a real gun, ordering him to shoot at anyone who might recognize them. But Joe had unloaded the gun, filling it up with blanks. He would remind himself not to shoot at point range and never at the heart or the temple.

I hope I won't need to. Please, let the security guards be asleep.

Kleptous chuckled. "Afraid I'll eat you up? Don't worry. I'm not in the mood today."

Am I suppose to thank you?

Joe gave Kleptous a sarcastic smile but kept silent. The trip was long, by the time they reach there, it would be 1am. It would be longer had Kleptous not drove at an astonishing speed. But Joe was used to high speed racing, so he was not afraid at all. He was just uncomfortable. The streets were mostly empty but Kleptous seemed to find great joy in swerving at the last possible moment to the direction he wanted to turn into, causing Joe to vomit the moment he was out of the car.

But it felt good to purged. Joe felt all the more lighter, emptier. Childishly, he thought maybe he could just keep purging until his body was as light as his soul and he would float away, far away from Kleptous' grip, high above the world and find a star to reside all alone for the rest of his life.

Kleptous nodded to the building and gave Joe a magnetic striped card. "Use this to get to the basement."

"How did you get it?"

"Don't ask too many questions. Just do as I say. And someone had done something to the security cameras, so you need not worry too much but still, keep your face low. I'll be waiting for you a little further up. Find a way to grab the vial and not bring too much attention on yourself."

"Somebody who?"

Kleptous simply ignored Joe.

"Ok. Fine! Get the vial and we'll go for supper and a party." Joe deadpanned.

"Enough with your wise cracks. Get moving. ASAP. Remember, don't screw up. Hope's and her daughter's lives are in your hands."

Kleptous drove away and using the limited streetlights, Joe memorized where he parked the car, so he would know how far he would have to go, and in case he get caught, how far he needed to run. Kleptous parked a block away, looking inconspicuous behind some other cars parked at the parallel slots near the road curb.

Joe took a huge breath, put on his gloves and wore a cap, hiding his face beneath the shadow the hood created and proceed.

The front door was lock and it did not seem to have any device to open it from the outside. Remembering what he learnt from previous cases, which were lessons as well, there was always a loophole to security. He simply went in search of the backdoor.

The backdoor had a security slot also and Joe wondered if it would work with the card. Sliding in the card, he saw the green light of approval. Relieved that he would have to dismantle the whole thing and cut the wires and probably screw it up, he turned the knob, which unfortunately, was locked.

A simple lock. I can do it. Where's my lock picks? What if I can't remember how?

Joe pushed his doubts aside by assuring himself it was like riding a bicycle. Once he learnt it, he would know it forever.

He fiddled around with the lock, and too easily, he heard the click he was hoping for and entered, not into the building, but a small walkway with an imposing metal, security door, without any handles, separating it from the main building.

I knew it! Frank's paranoid about security. Always!

This time, his card did not work. Probably needed a central mechanism to open this door as well as the front door. But unlike the main entrance, at least Joe could still do something with the controls.

He unscrewed the control box gently, hoping not set off any alarms they might have hooked it up with, but knowing if they had, it was useless of him to hope. When he heard no alarm bells going off, he peered at the mess of wires that were stuck in it.

It was unlike any formation that he had seen Frank worked with in the past. Frank had always made these kind of job seemed like child's play while Joe might need a little more time to figure these things out. Separating the different colors of wires out, he did not even know by cutting the right one would the door open or which was the right wire even.

He looked at the colors of the wires. This would take intuition. There were 5 colors, red, blue, green, brown and white. If Frank had anything to do the design, he might want the blue one to be the right wire to cut, since he love the color blue.

But you love blue too! Even more than him. Maybe, maybe he would end up hating blue instead.

Suddenly, Joe found the voices inside his head very childish. He took a moment to lean himself totally against the metal door and laugh.

And the metal swung slightly. Joe almost had a heart attack.

Damn! Should have check whether it's lock in the first place. Someone must have disabled the door. Someone...I wonder who.

Cautiously, he pushed the heavy door opened by a small gap. There were some faint orange lights illuminating the lobby from a large indoor fountain. Seeing no shadows and hearing no sound that could suggest another human being, Joe walked in.

It had all been too easy.

He stealthily moved towards the lifts landing. Going into the first available, he swiped the card again and remembering Kleptous' instructions, pressed the button for level B2.

Finally! Time of reckoning.

Though he had dreaded this job with all his heart and soul, there was still a rush of adrenalin, a rush that came from fear of being caught. A rush that stemmed from his worries for his girlfriend and her daughter.

If she's still your girlfriend. Leave her man, leave her before you drag her down.

"Shut up brain or I'll brain you and kill myself in the process." Joe muttered to himself, treating his brain like a real adversary.

When the lift door open, Joe was once again shock to see no one was around the landing. There was a glass door leading into the laboratories, one of which was his destination. Crouching behind a big, squarish dustbin immediately, he tried to peer through the glass doors. There were only lights at the end and to his disappointment; four guards were standing behind, seemingly guarding a door with a surveillance screen in front of them that had not betrayed Joe's entrance.

What do you expect? That this whole place will be just like a candy store for you to come in and take your pickings?

Joe prepared his gun, meaning to use it with his left hand. It was one thing in the past that made Frank extremely jealous. Besides being the better athlete when it came to events needing speed and strength, Joe was semi-ambidextrous, able to use his left hand for some activities just as well as his right. Their dad had made them take marksmanship classes which he knew now was actually part of the Network training and he smiled at the irony.

I'm trained to protect the innocent in future. And I'm going against everything that I have ever been trained to do.

Joe did not like guns. Neither did Frank. It could protect but more often than not, it could kill, would kill. Joe was uncomfortable with it in his hand and prayed that he would not have to use it, if he could help it.

He crouched down and moved over to the door, sliding the card in again. It was like having a master key, a golden pass. The door was unlocked and spotting a chance to enter when all four guards suddenly turned towards all directions but the door's, Joe swiftly moved in. He was still fast with reflexes like a cat but without the strength of his former self. He would have to rely on more subtle means to take out the guards.

Reaching into his sack, he took out a mask and put it on. The Assassins must have been to many protest grounds for not only they provided the mask, they provided stones and a canister of knock-out gas. Joe smiled a little at the memory of the past when he and Frank would knock criminals out with more finesse than a knock-out gas canister, or at least Frank would do the knocking-outs with his marital arts expertise, with a swift karate chop at the correct place which only experts could manage without killing someone. Joe had not done well in martial arts classes, being impatient and unable to focus as well as Frank. He did well though but was much less adept than Frank. Joe suddenly missed his brother even more, his heart knotted suddenly. He just felt like giving up and going away.

I have become what Frank had thought I would. I cannot prove him right or he'll never forgive me. We used to fight against crimes, now I miss him, when I'm committing one.

He found himself putting back the canister he had just retrieved back into his bag, ready to call it quits when Hope's face surfaced in front of it, so real, he could almost touch it.

You're going crazy. Just get on with it will you?

Shut up! Didn't I tell you not to mock me?

Resolved, he pulled the tab of the canister and threw it at the four guards when they chose to an opportune time to cluster together. Joe waited for the inevitable thuds on the floor.

What if it's poison gas canisters? What if they lied to me?Damn!

Too late, you've thrown it.

He did not have to wait long. After hearing assorted variations of "What the hell......" the guards were knocked out.

The Assassins, they did not kid around this time. They had provided Joe with the best help they could. They must have wanted the vial. Checking the pulse of the guards and assuring himself that they were fine, he swung open the door to laboratory that Kleptous had described to him about. Switching on the lights, he spotted the locked metal door at the back of the laboratory and proceeded to open it. Remembering what Kleptous had told him, he very carefully stuck a small rounded electronic device near the lock and then, from a safe distance, he pulled out a remote control and pressed.

There was a pretty explosion and Joe immediately flung himself to the floor. The metal door was partially destroyed. The force was just enough to ruin the door. Joe pushed the attached part of the door and it swung wider to allow Joe some access.

He stepped into a bright lit room with all sorts of test tubes neatly placed in shelves, something Joe would expect from some science-fiction series. He scanned through them to find the on he wanted, it should be labeled Virus X.

Virus. I cannot condemn Hope and Caramel. Can I condemn the world?

Of course you can't. But what would you do Joe?

Joe looked at the virus and noticed that it was like a clear tube of water. Maybe...maybe he could do a switch and plan for something to help Hope and Caramel escape from the Assassin's clutches. Resolved, he turned around only to be startled by the huge man who had crept up with incredible stealth for someone his size behind Joe.

"That was wonderful! Joe, you're something. Did the knock-out gas help?"

Joe simply breathed in deeply and kept his head down even more.

"I would have waited in the car but then I thought...what if Little Joey double-cross me? Leave a note or something? I better come check. You have cleared the way pretty nicely."

Joe grunted under his breath. "It was pretty much cleared for me."

Kleptous reached out for the tube which was tightly secured and put it inside his pocket. Then, reaching out for a gun though he already had Joe hostage with Hope's and Caramel's life, he pointed it at Joe and forced Joe outside the laboratory.

"You know, you could have save me the trouble in the first place and did it yourself." Joe muttered.

Kleptous pressed the gun hard against Joe's spine. "There was a change of plans. Believe me, I'm not happy that he arrived and sent me to come see for myself...you see...someone spotted you groveling to your brother...and...we are not sure where your loyalty lies, whether my threats will work."

Joe swallowed hard. "My loyalty never lies with you."

"Doesn't matter. I've got what I want." They left the building and reached Kleptous car. Kleptous had a smirk on his face that Joe just wanted to punch out.

But you know you can't. You can never beat him up at all in your pathetic form now.

Kleptous dropped Joe off near his street and before Joe could leave the car, he leaned over and gave Joe a sick kiss on the cheek only because Joe had been quick enough to avert his face, to avoid the kiss landing on his lips.

The menace chuckled with an evil glint in his protruding eyes. "I don't think I'll be seeing you again baby...take care...it had been very fun...reminiscing." And he drove off, laughing like a maniac.

Joe thought of using a lighter to burn the part of his cheek that Kleptous had contaminated but he knew that it would never take the disgust away. But he would have to do something to alert Frank because Kleptous did take the virus away before Joe could switch it. He ran to a nearby phone and dialed 911.

"Burglary at Maximillian Enterprise. 4 guys were knocked out with some gas, need immediate attention at basement 2."

"What? Wait..."

Joe put the phone down and started running to his flat, disgusted at himself.

"Someone broke in! Well...I don't know who...yes, somehow they got my number and they called...yah, no, your money's where it's at, in your damn freaking asshole! I'll see you like never!" Frank switched off his mobile and slipped it back into his pocket. Nancy squeezed his shoulders, trying to calm him down.

"It's those directors. I don't know why I'm answering to them...I'm...they're just making me feel so pissed off Nan...I think I'm losing it."

Nancy took Frank into her embrace. Frank had called her the moment he learnt about the broke in and found out about that the vial of Virus X which had arrived into Professor Linko's hands a few weeks ago went missing, with the door blasted opened. The police had cordoned basement 2 off to search for any clues or prints that may help them in their investigation but Frank had so little faith in them.

And the surveillance cameras were of no use. Someone, someone had hooked up the cameras such that all they played were repeated tapes of empty rooms and pathways. Frank had hit himself on the wall for being so stupid.

"I knew it Nancy! I don't...I should have tightened security. He or she or they just broke in so easily! How did the metal door open? It's supposed to be locked! Someone di-activated it. And the lift doors, the control panels needed the card. Nan...I think it's an inside job. Where's the damn Network when you need it?"

"It happens to the best of us baby...sometimes...these things happen." She stroked his uncombed hair, soothing out what few tangles that could have found their way in the mass of softness. She wanted to tell him things, things that would make him feel better but she could not because of the damn secrecy that came with her job. Yet seeing Frank so distraught, knowing that he would be under a lot of pressure not only from the shareholders but also from himself, she almost found herself caving in and telling him the truth.

"You know what I should have done? I should have guarded this damn place myself! The professor said it's a doomsday virus. I just went...oh...send more guards...government thing...don't bother too much. Make sure we find the cure, gain trust in this area to secure future, highly profitable projects!" He leaned against a lamppost just outside the building which was now crawling with policemen as well as some disguised Network agents. Then suddenly, his eyes pierce into Nancy and he gripped her shoulders hard.

"Nan, you can get for me Grey, can you?"

Nancy was shocked but no that shock. After all, Frank had an intelligent mind. It would take him long to put two and two together. Maybe he had known all the time but he was just too disappointed in her to say it.

"I don't know what you're..." A lame, last minute attempt at concealing. She needed this last defense to answer to Grey should her secret be acknowledged, which she knew it would be.

"Stop lying Nan...you know what I'm talking about...I'm not dumb...they're not dumb either. A talent like you? No way would they give you up. Please Nan, help me set a meeting with Grey." Frank was desperate. He hardly begged her.

"Please Nan...just one more glass...one more glass..."

You have enough Frank! Look at yourself! You haven't shaved, you stink of whiskey, you...you look like a bum! Not a Harvard student. Not like the Frank Hardy we know...I know...Wake up Frank! Wake up."

"Nan...I can't...it...it's too much...one more glass and I'll quit tomorrow...let me forget tonight? Please?"

"I'll try."

Frank looked at her gratefully before embracing her tightly. "I know I can count on you. Thank you...so much."

Nancy did not say anything. Once again, she was his support, the one he turned to when he could not turn to anyone else.

The one he would run to. No matter what relationship exist between us.

He held her for a long time and she allowed him to, knowing he needed that intimacy, that knowledge that he did not have to bear all the responsibilities alone. She knew every muscles in his body, every contours. She knew him probably better than he knew himself now.

After a while, he broke the embrace and the both of them stood staring at the building. The police have dispersed. The sirens, the ambulances, the four guards who were knocked out by some gas and the patrol cars were gone. Curious onlookers were gone too. The Network agents that had arrived with them were still in the basement, prodding around.

Nancy saw a figure from a distance and pondered. She would not need to arrange for that meeting that Grey Man wanted. He was walking towards them with one of theirs, Michel Angelos, a pleasant looking man with wavy brown hair that was always cut short. He was Grey Man's unofficial partner on this case. Frank noticed Nancy's distraction and looked in the same direction. His face became immediately somber and she had no idea what he could be thinking of at his time.

"Good to see you again Frank. This is Michel Angelos."

Frank and Michel shook hands but Frank never took his sight off Grey.

"What took you so long to contact me again?" Frank asked glacially. Nancy knew the words came with the baggages of the past.

"When did you start counting? Before, during or after your drinking binge?" Grey Man asked tactlessly. He was never one to mince words and Nancy had seen how disappointed he was that the two boys he was asked to train without revealing his identity as their trainer had all turned out different from what he expected. Contrary to what Frank had believed, that it was his dad who forbid him to join the Network, it was his drinking problem that caused him the votes as though Fenton was head of Network, the higher ranking officials who were to decide who would be hired to handle sensitive things could easily vetoed that decision. Out of respect of his long-standing friendship with Fenton and more of an anger that his most promising student would turn to alcohol, Grey Man rallied around not having Frank Hardy into the Network to not only be an agent, but also as one of their candidates to one day lead the Network.

"Oh...so you started in on my girlfriend?"

"She's a better bet than you."

Nancy could see Frank's face wrinkled a little in anger but he was not one to give in easily to tempers. Breathing in deeply, he kept his cool like he always could. "So what happened? Someone was after the virus. You have an idea who did it right?"

"Don't worry about a thing Frank, "Grey Man answered, his tone softening a little. "We have things under control."

Hope could not sleep. Joe had not called her one time since the whole madness started and she was worried about her boyfriend, yet, too full of pride to be the one to end the tension first. And also because she received a call from his supervisor, a friend of hers and that was how he got the delivery job in the first place despite being so skinny. Joe was fired. Gary had been apologetic but he told Hope he had no choice. He had closed a blind eye many times when Joe would turn up late or mess up his delivery and he even told her that Joe would drink beers while working, getting his temper high and offending customers. Joe did seem like the type who would get into trouble and he had been acting really strange lately. Sometimes, she would curse herself for falling for him, but she had fallen and she did love him.

Do I still? Why am I thinking of Frank?

She woke up around 3a.m, intending to just take a walk outside. Little Port was not a very safe place overall but her neighborhood was a good one, being situated near the richer areas where police patrols were more frequent. Plus she knew the people around there, friendly creatures, most of them.

Taking a walk along the street, she was happy for the silence and for the slight breeze, a definite welcome to the humid weather. When she reached the junction, she was vaguely surprise to see a white car on the road at that hour. Out of curiosity, she stood at a corner to see which of her neighbors had a late night.

She saw what she wished she did not. A man kissing Joe. It was not a friendly one, it was one that lingered and he had pulled Joe to him in a hug. She squinted her eyes for a clearer look and there was no mistake about that blond hair that would gleam even under the weakest of lights. No mistake about that face, that pair of flashing blue sapphire eyes that had held her so entrance, just as her own dark eyes kept him spellbound, like he would always say.

So this is what had been bothering. An old boyfriend visiting? Why would he lie to me about his sexuality?

Her heart was pounding. She knew she should be devastated but she was not. She was angry, angry at having been made the fool. Either Joe was a bisexual or he was a gay, simply using her as a front. And the latter explanation seemed more possible to her, given his reluctance to be physically intimate with her. Oh, she was not asking for sex or anything, she had a bad taste about pre-marital sex ever since it caused her an early pregnancy that she and Carl were not prepared for, but a kiss on the lips and a closer embrace, even those he could not bring himself to share with her.

Fool! I've been a fool! Making a play for him, giving the perfect opportunity to stage an act to lie to those he did not want to reveal his sexuality to, whoever they are. But it doesn't matter. I'm the big, stupid FOOL!

She watched him from a corner, getting out of the car and rushing to a payphone nearby after the car had drive away. Various suspicions ran in her head. Maybe he was calling his boyfriend who had just drove away because he miss him already. Anger flood through her, she hated being cheated. He could at least be honest. He was never honest or opened in front of her and she made her choice that night. He would not have to explain, he never liked to do much talking anyway. She would just cut him away from her life. It did not matter, she thought she was not much of his life anyway.

Liar! Joey, you're one damn liar!

And he spotted her. As vacant as he would look sometimes, Joe had very sharp eyes. He had probably seen a shadow, her shadow, and cautiously, he walked towards her. Then he saw her shape, her figure and very tentatively, he asked, "Hope?"

Hope turned, not wanting him to see her tears. She ran back to her house but she was not fast enough. Under that moon partially hidden by some clouds on a rather starless night, her heart was utterly broken. It was then she knew she loved Joe a lot. She felt his grip on her hand, the coldness of it shock her. She turned to look at him, openly tearing now.

Gently he brushed away her tears, she found herself almost lost in those beautiful eyes which was so full of sadness and shame. And the soft, husky voice that she was so used to, she would probably hear it for one last time because she had made up her mind.

"It's not what you think."

"Then what should I think?" Weak excuses always made her irritated, frustrated and angry. She spat out her words.

"That my boyfriend will never do a thing like that? That he loves me more than his own life?" He made a lame excuse at laughing off the episode, trying to pull her into an embrace.

She resisted and in a cold voice that shock even herself, she spoke the words that she thought she never have to hear or say when they had been so happy together. "Let's call it off."

"Hope...please...listen to me...I can't explain to you now, but later I will...I'll never hurt you...you must believe me..." He was positively begging her now and she could see for the first time, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. When he saw that she was not responsive at all, he pleaded in a very small voice that made him seemed like a little child. "Hope..."

"Goodbye Joey. Oh...and Gary wants me to tell you that he can't keep you in the job anymore because you had screwed up more than your fair share of deliveries. Take care of yourself." She shook away his grip and walked away. He did not follow her. A part of her wished he did.

Her mobile rang when she entered her house. Hurriedly, she picked it up, knowing that for someone to disturb her at this hour, it must be important.

It may be him too...

"Hello?"

"Hope, Frank here. The company was broken into earlier." Frank's voice was dejected, that much she could detect from the lousy connection.

"Is it serious?" She knew she should be worried about the company but after what had happened, she could offer no more than the customary "Oh...is it?" kind of feeling.

"I am going to sort it out now. Just thought I'll inform you."

"Frank, we got to go."

Hope heard Nancy's voice in the background and felt a very slight tinge of envy. Then she was guilty at her feelings, thinking that perhaps she was interested in Frank and maybe was glad that what had happened gave her a chance to break it off with Joe without looking like the bitch.

I'm so confuse. One moment I'm so sure I loved him...the next...I'm jealous of Nancy!

"Ahm...See you tomorrow in the office. Bye." The phone call was disconnected. Hope set her mobile down and slumped onto the armchair. And the full weight of the break-up, the intensity of the lonliness she felt settled down heavily on her heart. She cried, silently, unable to cry out loud for fear for waking Caramel. She cried until her eyes hurt. Her eye-lids grew heavy and she fell into another restless slumber.

Chapter 20

"So you're telling me that you have been expecting this? All along and you did not tell me?" Frank question was at Grey Man but his accusatory gaze was at Nancy who squirmed a little in her seat. They had drove off to the Network branch in Barnett Bay. It was the trading house in which Nancy worked in. It looked like an ordinary small company but there was actually a trap door leading down to the basement where the Network would operate. It was a small branch, but it was well-equipped with state of the art surveillance systems, super speed computers not yet out in the department and it did look like what one would expect from a secret agency. They were in Grey Man's office which was a nice contrast to the cluttered space outside. It was minimally bare with only a potted plant, a large white desk and black armchairs and a few books and of course the very important computer, linking him to all branches of the Network, the FBI, the CIA and other government agencies.

"We did not tell you because you're not part of the Network, breach of security." Grey said matter-of-factly.

"That never stopped you from letting me in on your activities in the past." Frank snarled. He was worked up now. Cool and composed as he could be, there was a limit to his patience and he felt betrayed by the agency he had placed quite a lot of hope and trust in before.

"Before you were actually undergoing training to be a Network agent so you were semi-agent. Now, you're not and I have to be strict."

"So why bring me here now?"

"Because while we are strict, I feel I owe you an explanation and we need your help too. Or rather, I want you to help out." Grey Man's tone did not change but his mask of indifference cracked a little. Leaning forward, he continued, "You do suspect it was an inside job do you?"

Frank nodded. "Yes...that much I gathered. It was too smooth."

"There's...there's a very sensitive clue that would help us very much. You are extremely well-verse in how security works in your firm don't you?"

"All top level personnel would know, including the security department."

"So you must know that the small little, minute camera fixed to the door of the vault leading to all the wonderful tubes and potions of the scientists is not connected to the central mechanism. We have retrieve the special diskette where it records down everything that happened...don't look so surprise at how I know this...the Network has its sources and its ways around things...you do talk too much to Nancy here...without meaning to of course...you designed the security structure once and blabbered in a moment of triumph to Nancy a couple of years ago, remember? Anyway I want you to see this."

Grey Man flicked a switch on a control panel on his side of the desk. The television monitor hooked up to the wall flickered and a dark picture was shown. Nancy, Frank and Michel had to peer extremely closely to the monitor because though it was in a digital format, the clarity was still hampered a little by the lack of light. Grey Man zoomed in on the scene they wanted and they saw a slim man in view, sticking something on the control panel of the door where the camera eye was also. The face it captured shocked all three of them. Nancy gasped, Frank bristled and Michel had a guilty look on his face. Nancy knew that Michel was sent to follow up on Joe and he did, his report stated that Network had nothing to fear from Joe and based on his investigations, they stopped tracking Joe was intently as before.

Someone is in for major trouble.

Grey Man gave Michel a disapproving look and the screen fizzled out. The door must have exploded then and the camera eye destroyed by it also. Nancy stole a quick glance at Frank who was expressionless now. She was not able to figure what had gone through his mind.

Please don't let him go crazy like before...oh...

"He's in Barnett Bay too?" Frank's tone was flat.

"No, actually, in Little Port." Grey Man answered. "Apparently Michel here made a wrong judgment call. But it doesn't matter anyway. We have sent Network agents to his flat to check it out."

"He did seem harmless...more like a tormented kid than anything." Michel mumbled in his own defense.

"He got the vial...do you think he'll go back to his flat?" Frank queried, his tone now incredulous. "Do you think he's dumb enough to go back where he could be easily found?"

"He does not know about the separated camera. He probably thought he was safe." Grey Man countered.

"Yah...right."

"Besides, he got a vial of water instead." At that point, Grey Man gave a slight chuckle. "Professor Linko's one of ours..."

"Bring on the surprises man...just get it all out." Frank deadpanned.

"Let me finish, will you? Anyway, the reason why you so successfully bought over Linko's research team was because we wanted you to buy it. Your company has the resources to conduct all the expensive experiments that Network cannot afford now. Virus X was actually 'manufactured' by the Assassins but we got the hang of it and managed to steal what seemed to be their only vial and their 'formula' for it and captured the scientists who were researching into this virus or knew about the virus. The Assassins' scientists are now unable to perform any scientific experiments in the future or even have the intelligence and will to. Anyway, we still wanted to make sure that this Virus would not be a threat and thus we commissioned Linko to study it and come up with the antidote or the cure in any fashion and he was nearing it when the government took him off the research. Some internal power struggle between us and the FBI. Yet, with your financial backing of Linko, our team seemed more attractive all of the sudden and the virus once again landed in our hands. Linko would hide the virus somewhere safe...which is here...every night and would label a tube of water Virus X. Knowing that the Assassins send goons for these jobs; we thought they might be fooled. And they were, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Until they find out that it is water and come back again...maybe bomb my whole building!" Frank retorted in disbelief. He was after all, head of Maximillian Enterprise. He had the right to know such dealings that were going on in his own empire.

"Maybe...that's why we need your help. We are running out of time. We need to find the insider or insiders in your company and we need to extract information from Joe. We feel you will be the best bet, since Michel here had failed us miserably."

"Like I said Grey, he did seem harmless." Michel interjected.

"That's what we thought too." Frank added bitterly.

"What I suggest is that all of you go back and catch some sleep. By tomorrow, Joe will be successfully caught by our agents and we'll have the time of our lives to interrogate him. Satisfied?"

Frank kept silent while Nancy and Michel were already starting to leave. Nancy nudged Frank who was so still, and was a little worried.

"Grey..." Frank begin, his tone was hard and decisive. "I will only help if you let me be in the Network."

"Don't make deals with Frank Hardy."

Frank leaned forward, staring into Grey Man's eyes. "I will be in the Network. That's final."

"And why would you want to be? You got a great career, we may call you for semi-assignments...you will have more freedom than any of us."

Frank spoke coldly, his eyes never leaving Grey Man's. "I don't want to have special permission like before when I need to arrest my little brother. You got it?" With that, he forcefully got out of his chair and brushed Nancy away, shutting the door behind him with a loud slam.

Joe swallowed the bitter lump in his throat as he watched Hope ran away from him. He did not follow because he felt undeserving. She was right...in a way...they should break it off, because of who he had become, what had happened to him, if she knew the truth, she would not be able to handle it and they would still break up. It did not really matter, better earlier than later.

But I do love her so much...so very much...Hope...if only I can tell you everything...if only...

But he missed her already, her touch, her hair, her perfume...he knew he would miss her for the rest of his life. Maybe he could make amends soon. Joe knew no matter how gallant he might sound to himself, letting her go because it was better for her, he knew he could not. He would win her back, but that would take time.

When everything blows over...I'll go back to her...and tell her how much she means to me.

But she seen you with good ol' Kleptous didn't she? Betcha she'll never forget that scene.

Just keep your mouth shut will you?

You called me, remember? You talked to me first.

No I did not!

Yes you did. I can't shut up because you can't shut up.

Joe shook his head and stuffed his hands inside his pockets. He always feared he would one day go crazy and he felt like he was losing control of his himself. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the lack of will or something...but his hands would sometimes shake uncontrollably and his anger would flare. He had acted "crazy" in front of Hope so many times; it was a marvel she had stayed with him until now.

Taking one last look at her house, he crossed the street to his flat. He stopped for a while and quickly hid behind a tree. Three men were already there, in suits. The first thought that came to him mind was Assassins.

But Kleptous said he would not see me again...

Idiot! Where's there's Assassins there will be Network.

But...but it was successful...it was a breeze...I did well...why...

They must had been keeping tabs on you. Do you think you're really a free man after all you had done...somehow...

Joe did not wait for his alter-ego in his mind to figure things out. He quickly dashed off but a passing car headlight flashed onto him. Inside was another man in suit and Joe was spotted. A little flustered for a moment, Joe quickly ran off in another direction, a flashback of his running away from the authorities 5 years ago went across his mind. It was almost on a same night like this. He had been running then. He was running now. It was like he had been running forever. The car gave chase after the driver also recognized Joe and horned loudly so the three men near his building would follow as well. The night though was Joe's best friend. It was a dark night and he knew the alleys and corners he could turn into. He dashed between a few blocks but he could still hear footsteps behind him.

Without looking back, Joe ran on, psyching himself by telling himself that he was a sprinter and he could run very fast. Slipping in and out of alleyways, making use of shadows to conceal his movements and taking paths that he knew the car could not pass, he very quickly turned into an alley he knew quite well and climbed up a pipe until he reached a ledge. He had come to this building to make some deliveries before and had hidden there to drink some cans of beers and noticed that the second floor apartment that could be accessed by the pipe was unoccupied and the window was always slightly ajar. He pushed the window opened and slipped into the house and slide the window shut again. It was a dusty window so he wiped it with his sleeves until he could make out the shadows that had followed him into the alley. The three men stopped and looked around. Finally, they dispersed and ran down different paths in search of him. He finally let out a breath of relief, and waited for a while before he climbed down the pipe.

He knew he could not go back, there would be men no doubt waiting for him. Assassins or Network, he did not care anymore. He was tired of his life suddenly, tired of the mess that he had created for himself. Running in a different direction from his pursuers, he did not stop until he reached the clearing that Michel had shown him before.

The soup kitchen...it's like an eternity away. Shouldn't have left. Shouldn't have fallen in love.

Now you know. What did I tell you before? Didn't I snide at you, warning you that it would not turn out right?

Somehow, he had unconsciously led himself there and he jogged slowly to the middle of the clearing and collapse, overwhelmed by the ferocity of the events that had just occurred. He had really thought he could start anew, start afresh, earn enough money and maybe marry Hope and now, he was out of a job, out of love and he was a criminal who had delivered a lethal virus into a madman's hands.

Not to mention defiled and worthless. Do you really think someone as low as you, as cheap as you...as filthy as you can make it? No...it you can't. You can never start anew.

It's not true...I can...I...

Look what turned out! It's you Joe! You always bring trouble and death to those you love! You should fly far away from Hope, Caramel and Frank. They must have had a peaceful life until you came to Little Port to screw them up!

His breathing became more rapid and he retched. He vomited until there was nothing left and then slumped onto the ground, exhausted, defeated.

A familiar figure appeared in his view, gazing down at him. A look of puzzlement flashed across the friendly face. Joe was kind of glad to see a friend.

"What are you doing here...you sh..."

Joe immediately stood up and grabbed Michel's t-shirt. He had not noticed the troubled look Michel had. Joe simply was so happy that he still had someone to turn to...if only for a while.

"Mic...you're here! You're...I'm...I'm in such a huge mess..." Joe let go of Michel's shirt and his hands slipped to his side. Was he really going to confide in Michel? Sure and Michel would turn him to the police and he would be caught and maybe charged for life in the state prison where he would have to go through the nightmares again and again, where his soul would experience horrendous death every night. No, he could not tell Michel.

Michel gently placed his hands on Joe's hands and led him down to the ground gently. He was about to sit when Joe muttered a warning.

"You shouldn't sit there."

"Why not?"

"I vomited there."

Michel hurriedly stood up and walked over to the other side of Joe. He tried to smile and jokingly said, "I hope I did not get any on my shoes."

"So...what brings you here?" Michel asked.

"I'm depress."

"Care to tell me?"

"No."

"So you're just going to sit here? Man Joe! Joe...please...talk to me..."

"No."

Michel was desperate now. Joe thought he was just overly concern; after all, it was Joe's fault for getting his friend worked up by telling Michel that he got himself into a huge mess.

"Why didn't you come visit the soup kitchen?" Michel was trying to lead Joe carefully into a conversation. He was good at that, knowing when to pursue matters the roundabout way.

Joe did not answer. He huddled his legs close to his chest. Then he threw Michel a question of his own. "Why didn't you call or visit? I gave you my number. I gave you my address."

Michel honestly did not know how to reply. There were times when he wanted to just call and update with Joe out of friendly concern. But the Network was strict on not being friends with those they were supposed to tag. And Michel had honestly thought that the chapter was close and he could move on with his usual duties, seeking information about the Assassins...chasing them, thwarting their plans, sometimes watching helplessly as they commit suicide with cyanide pills in loose teeth.

"I guess I was busy...actually, I moved out of the soup kitchen shortly after you did. Found a demanding job."

"You don't have to explain. It's ok. Nobody really cared about me." Joe mumbled dejectedly. "Hope and I are no more."

"Why?"

"You got a beer?"

"No."

"Then I'm not telling."

Michel was at the end of his ropes. Joe was supposed to be caught by the Network and somehow he had escaped. But Michel knew he had seen Joe for the real person he was, a lost boy. And Joe did mention that he was in a mess. The friendship between the both of them won out.

Plus, there seemed to be something more.

"Joe, I'm going to tell you things. Things that are not very nice to hear." He gripped Joe's hands tightly, just in case the kid wanted to run away, Michel could pull him back. Once Joe started running though, Michel knew he could not catch up with Joe's speed.

"I know. We know. If it's not your fault...we can find out the truth and clear your name."

As he spoke, his gaze held Joe's eyes. He saw those blue eyes widened in bafflement and then understanding dawn upon them. Just as Michel expected, Joe tried to get up and pull his hands away from Michel's strong grip.

"Let me go! You don't understand! No one will...they'll hurt Hope and Caramel and maybe Frank if I don't do it! You don't know...no one..."

Michel pulled Joe down and in a calming tone, tried to reason with the fragile mind. He swore at himself for making the judgment of not tagging Joe on an intensive level. If only they had carried on, it would not take too much time, maybe all these would not have come to pass.

"You can tell me everything Joe. I have seen much more than you can ever imagine. I have seen their brutality, their cruelness. You can try me."

Joe looked up at Michel with such intensity that sent some chills down Michel's spine. "You were my tag weren't you? Befriending me...I should have known they would send someone who looked like Frank to me! Wear down my defenses! Should have never stepped inside the soup kitchen...better if I have just died on the streets!"

"Joe! I'm the only one who can help you now. Our agency is vast and where can you run to? Tell me everything and I'll...I'll speak to Grey on your behalf."

Joe spat on the ground when he heard that name. "He did not believe the first time round. Why now? Why? Because you will speak to him? I would have thought Network agents will be smarter. You're just an idiot."

Michel brushed that insult aside. He knew Joe was distraught and probably not thinking right. "I have become your friend Joe. Probably your best friend now. I have seen you...you may not believe it but I know you. You are not capable of something like that. I saw you...feeding that stray cat we keep kicking away. I saw you putting in more soup, giving more bread to children and the old, feeble people. I have seen how gentle you can be with some of the more embarrassed and confused people that seek our help, gentler and kinder than any of us. And that is why I felt...you are a good person."

Joe's eyes glazed over. Michel did not what Joe was thinking but he could guess. And he guessed right.

"I'm not a good person."

"Of course you are. Evil people skin cats and dogs, not feed them and cuddle them."

"Did they tell you what I was in for?" Joe asked suddenly, his eyes piercing, which reminded Michel of how Frank's gaze through Grey Man's. The two brothers looked so different but they were similar in more ways than what would appear on the surface. And though Michel had a rough idea of what Joe was arrested for, he was never thoroughly briefed.

He shook his head. Joe smirked at himself. "I raped my own sister, disabled my own brother and...I murdered my mom, though that was never proven. I wished they did. And I will be hung, electrocuted...whatever...no worries, no troubles."

Michel knew the crimes, but he did not know the victims, he was slightly taken aback at first and he let go of Joe's hands.

"My hands are too dirty for anyone to touch...huh?"

"No...it's not that..."

"See. Why would Grey believe an evil person like me? I've ruined so many lives."

"You really did those...things?" Michel could not help asking. The crimes seemed so out of place when he looked at Joe. But he had seen very beautiful people committed the vilest crimes before. Yet Joe also had a beauty that came from the inside and that was what was contradicting the supposed deeds.

"I..." Now he made Joe confused. "I suppose I did...I can't remember though...I just remembered being caught...and...the evidences...so many...I think I had a memory lapse. And..." Joe winced at the memory as if in great pain. "And he didn't believe me...he did at first...but...it was too much...the things pointing at me and I was so...I was so confused...just on the stand..."

"So you're not a hundred percent sure you have done it. You could be framed."

"No!" Joe's protest was very strange. Michel thought Joe would be ecstatic at the prospect of maybe being innocent of those heinous crimes. "I...I remember running because...because...I have...if I'm framed...he would have found out! He would! And he would believe me or trust me...but he didn't...see...he's always right...he is..."

"Joe...your brother was only 18 then...going on to 19...he could not be that perfect to be able to get to the truth of the matter all the time. Trust yourself Joe..." Michel tried to convince Joe there could be a hope. Joe simply grabbed his head and shook vigorously.

"You're making me confuse and...let's not talk about this."

Conditioning. It could be...or it could be memory lapses...If only Joe could remember!

"What about tonight?"

"I...I don't know. I always don't know anything! Just stole that vial...then he came in and took it! Hope saw...got the wrong idea..." Joe was close to the same breakdown that Michel had encountered before. He put an arm around the poor kid who was shivering even in the hot weather.

"Why do you trust me so much? Want to help me so?" Joe calmed down somewhat.

"I'm a sucker for those in trouble. You know...the hero instinct...must help the weak and destroy the evil." Michel joked but his grinned died down when he saw Joe's face fell.

"So if I'm really evil...not the good person you thought I am...you'll destroy me too." He stated in a very low voice that matched his low spirits. Michel did not know what else to say.

"I trust my judgment."

"If only you were...never mind...doesn't matter now." Joe stared at his feet while rubbing his temples.

"I can always be a surrogate brother." Michel offered. He liked this kid more and more. He had a protective streak in him that caused him to want to reach out to those in turmoil. Grey Man often joked that if Michel was not a Network agent, he could be a very effective welfare officer or social service volunteer.

Joe rubbed his eyes a little. Michel could not see whether it was from the tiredness or whether he was crying. Joe never cried, even when he had the breakdown. Looking at his watch, Michel noted that it was close to sun rise. "Don't need another brother. But..." He looked up at Michel a little gratefully. "I'll settle for a friend...a good friend...if you'll have me as one though..."

"Tempting offer. Just don't be too much trouble buddy."

Joe smiled wanly and looked up at the sky. "This is really a nice place. Can find some sanity here."

Taking that as a compliment, Michel smiled too. He stood up and Joe followed suit. The two friends took a walk and suddenly Joe burst out laughing.

"I don't even know where to go now...isn't that funny? I'm back to square one...no home..."

It was a mockery at himself. Joe was good at that, insulting and belittling himself. Michel had noticed that too and deduced that prison life was not kind to Joe...then again, it was never kind to anyone who might be innocent.

"You can come stay with me for a while."

Again Joe shook his head vigorously. "No...got to check up on Hope...see if she's fine."

"Why?"

"They threatened to hurt her and Caramel if I don't do anything. Now I've screwed up and everyone's looking for me...I'm very worried."

Michel brain churned. Joe was giving him information bit by bit and he had to digest them and sort them out. "Maybe...Joe...go to my place for a rest. I'll send some men to check on Hope and Caramel...I promise you that. Then...we'll have to go see Grey Man."

Joe's blue eyes flickered with apprehension and fear. Insecurity about not having anyone believe him at all made him very doubtful how Grey Man would help. Michel ruffled the blond hair. "I believed you didn't I?"

"Yes."

"Have more faith in yourself...who knows...maybe your brother will also believe you and...you can be reunited with him again."

A wild hope shone on Joe's face, making Michel a little guilty all of a sudden. He had seen the anger and the coldness in Frank when he watched that tape. He doubted that Frank would be easily convinced because the wound in Frank also cut deep. But he had said those words without much thinking and he could not take them back.

"You think so? You really think so?"

Michel escaped from having to answer that question directly. He simply squeezed Joe's shoulder.

"We have a long night. It's time to go sleep."